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 TheBDFL.com          WIZARDZ WINNERZ                       2008

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The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

From The Wizard

Week 17

Power Sleds vs. Bullets

Playing for his first legitimate BDFL title, the first untainted title in Hand/Slovensky history, a chance to break the curse-that-shall-remain-nameless, the Most Favored Son status at the Knights of Columbus lodge in Brookside, and a hefty point spread will prove too much for the “Lowndes County Confederacy” to overcome when they stare down “Smilin’” Jack Barnes and the “Sinjun’ Engines” in the Big Daddy Bowl.

Wizard’s Winner…the Power Sleds.

Woosiers vs. Jugs

If the Head Woo had parsed through a similar amount of information when in his wrestling glory days, he would have rarely won a match, much less string together a series of state championships. For the “Doo Crew”, the only thing steaming up in the air is the pile of dung the Woosiers left behind last week after out thinking themselves and playing mind numbing odds instead of their best players, which resulted in them leaving stud running back Brandon Jacobs on the bench, and, unfortunately, the 18 points he scored that would have carried them to victory and the Big Daddy Bowl. Now Tommy must endure countless jabs by the Wizard until he redeems himself.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Wildcats vs. Wizards

A pair of disappointed teams managed to salvage a little respect last weekend, but don’t expect it to go very far in salving their wounds from losing in the first round of the championship bracket. The “James Gang” and their vaunted running attack failed to materialize in the play offs leaving them on the short end of a title run…again. Meanwhile, the “Pasco Pixies” equally as ballyhooed ground game failed to answer the bell in either round of the playoffs leaving them on the outside looking in. These two expected to meet in the title game, but will settle for the “Sister Kissin” Bowl instead.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.

Wooden Warriors vs. Mayors

Jaimie Hand and the “Fultondale Dung Divers” appeared to be rectifying their age old reputation for fading late in the season. After a rousing NASCAR fantasy league title and late season BDFL run that propelled them to the playoffs, however, the Warriors proved to be much more of the same after dropping two straight uninspiring performances in the play offs and firmly entrenching their reps for fading to black. The “Crown Clowns” were barely worthy of making the play offs and, unfortunately, lived up to their billing. Expect another helping on Sunday.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.

Gamblers vs. Bootleggers

It’ll be “Voo Doo” versus “Boo Boo” when the “Wagin Cajuns” cut the cards in Canton against the “Backwoods Bumpkins” after a season cuttin’ the cheese was each teams biggest accomplishment. The Bootleggers may have left the hills, but the hills ain’t left the Bootleggers as a season of discontent proved. However, a shot at the BMS title and the all-you-can-carry mullet award that goes with it is still in the offing when they face the Gamblers. Neither team is much to look at, but with a little lipstick the Bootleggers will look a little better at closing time.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bootleggers.

Dogs vs. Cheetahs

The end of long, disastrous is finally upon this pair of BDFL cellar dwellers. Butch Neal and the “Mattress Dancin’ Divas” remind the Great Wizardo of the two Wall Street barons in Trading Places that started the movie as Masters of the Universe but ended up as paupers after finishing dead last in points only a year removed from standing atop the BDFL Mountain with his 3rd title. A humiliating defeat against the Dogs will only serve to pour a little salt in an already raw wound.

Wizard’s Winner…the Dogs.

Grenades vs. Blitz

The “Monsters of the Mid State” managed to revive a modicum of respect in taking down the hopelessly unlucky Sloth Monsters in the lower bracket of the BMS giving them the right to travel to T-town to relive some memories at Harry’s Bar, at least the ones he was sober enough to recall. Greeting him will be Jerry Fritz and the “Tuscaloosa Tusk Toters”, who are still reeling from sellin’ enough Buicks in the final week of the regular season to go from championship series shoo-in to BMS also-ran. Kind of reminds the Great Wizardo of the time he was playing in an amateur league (the Southern Basketball League or SBL) with Dabo Johnson at West End High School one evening. Their opponent had a former UAB Blazer on its roster after just finishing his senior season by losing to Louisville in a thrilling Elite Eight game at the BJCC causing former Blazer, and Wizard team mate, Greg Leet, to remark “In two weeks he went from the final eight in the NCAA tournament to the SBL. That’s a big step down.”

Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.

Fighting Slovaks vs. Sloth Monsters

A pair of Greenhorn Division rivals square off in the battle to determine who rides on the BDFL caboose for 2008 when the “Lake Cyrus Schleprocks” welcome the “Flatulating Slovaks” in the season finale. The Sloths could have easily been title contenders were it not for a string of bad luck that befell any titles hopes they had long ago. Meanwhile, in “The only thing wrong with Scotland is it’s full Scotts” mode of King Edward of England in Braveheart, it’s hardly any wonder the Slovaks were kicked out of Slovakia after watching their wretched performance this season. Sunday will be one final reminder of their performance and one more reason (on top of mountain of reasons) for outgoing President George “Dubya” Bush to not grant them an 11th hour presidential pardon.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"Kind of reminds the Great Wizardo of the time he was playing in an amateur league (the Southern Basketball League or SBL) with Dabo Johnson at West End High School one evening. Their opponent had a former UAB Blazer on its roster after just finishing his senior season by losing to Louisville in a thrilling Elite Eight game at the BJCC causing former Blazer, and Wizard team mate, Greg Leet, to remark “In two weeks he went from the final eight in the NCAA tournament to the SBL. That’s a big step down"
 

2008 Wisdom

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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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