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 TheBDFL.com          WIZARDZ WINNERZ                       2007

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The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

From The Wizard

Week 13

PowerSleds vs. Woosiers

Week 12 saw Jack “the Ripper” Barnes and his “Sled Slashers” officially bow out of contention for a third BDFL title when they were dissected by the Pasco Pixies, who have also been eliminated from contention for a 3rd title and were happy to have some company at their pity party. This weekend the Sleds slide into Hayden with high hopes of turning the tables on a fellow BDFL title holder in the form of Tommy Todd and his “Pin Pals.” While the Woosiers toil at the bottom of the bottom of the Red Neck Division and have no realistic chance of even moving into 2nd place before years end, the Woosiers’ title hopes are very much alive and kicking thanks to their sparkling 8 win, 4 loss record. While giving a nod of thanks to the schedule maker, Tommy is keeping a wary eye on the rest of the league in hopes that the “Bullet Rule” will punch his ticket to the Big Dance. Fortunately for Tommy, he won’t need that eye to dispatch the visiting PowerSleds.

Wizard’s Winner…the Woosiers.

Grenades vs. Wizards

Chris Hand and his “Banana Eatin’ Certified ‘B’ Class Ballplayers” may pull on their fire engine red, painted on, polyester coaching shorts and their “Heartbeat of America” wife beaters just like everyone else, but it is their dominance on the rest of the field in recent weeks that has the the league taking notice. This weekend the Grenades fall offensive will roll its heavy artillery into Tampa to battle one of their bitter rivals in the form of Merlin and the “Pasco Pewter Pirates.” This game will settle absolutely nothing in the standings with the Wizards eliminated from contention & the Grenades largely locked into the playoffs, but it will be for bragging rights so don’t expect the Wizards to roll over and play dead or the Grenades to do little more than roll their helmets out on the field. The Grenades are the better team and may well notch another win in their belt, but the final outcome will be in just enough doubt for the Grenades to not cover the spread, and may even find themselves on the short end of the stick when a cease fire goes into effect.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.

Bullets vs. Blitz

Jerry Fritz and the “Squirmin’ Germans” have found themselves a bit uncomfortable after their hot start to the year has unexpectedly landed them in a frying pan. The Blitz made it look easy in September, but found out the hard way that BDFL championships are won in the snow, muck, and mud of December and January. A lesson learned the hard way that the Blitz will have the scars to remember it by for years to come. Nevertheless, the “Fritz Blitz” has certainly displayed the characteristics necessary to earn their BDFL stripes after an overall impressive rookie campaign. Meanwhile, the “Copperhead Road Confederates” have had a wildly gyrating season that at the moment has them very much in contention for their first real BDFL title. Nevertheless, the Bullets have to at least split their last two games to qualify and, unfortunately, they will have to wait for their regular season finale before getting fitted for their black tie and tails.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz.

Fighting Slovaks vs. Wildcats

A-Slo and the “Helena Hip Hop A-holes” have rapped their way to the top of the Green Horn Division and are primed to make their second consecutive run at a first ever legitimate BDFL title for the Hand / Slovensky clan. However, before recording their next rap album and going on tour, the Slovaks still have a bit of work to do before making championship series reservations. Reservations that may be on hold until after they pay a visit to the top ranked “Rocky Ridge Aristocats” who have proven that superior breeding (and missing the draft) may well be the key to striking BDFL gold. ELVO clearly favors the Wildcats, which could mean he truly believes the Cats are the far superior team or that Jerry has greased ELVO’s palms a bit beforehand, but the Great Wizardo doesn’t like the line any more than he likes losing to his arch rival, ELVO, and believes the Slovaks will find a way to get inside the 6.5 point spread before the day is done.

Wizard’s Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.

Wooden Warriors vs. Dogs

Although the “Black Crick Spear Chuckers” championship dreams are still technically alive, those dreams are also very much on life support as the Tribe makes the trip to Brookside to battle the “Coalburg Tirebiters” on Sunday afternoon. When Jaimie and the Wooden Warriors head to Brookside it usually involves a generous helpin’ of good barbecue from grandma’s grill, some fellowship at the Knights of Columbus lodge, plenty of beer, a few fierce games of horse shoes, and at least one Slovensky getting hauled off to the pokey for disorderly conduct. However, this weekend the stakes will be much higher as the Warriors teeter on the brink of championship elimination and must sweep their last two regular season games to even be allowed to throw their name in the pot. And Mark Burr would like nothing better than giving the Warriors one final, swift kick to push them over the edge. Fortunately for Jaimie, the schedule maker cut them some slack this weekend, and it should be just enough to let the Warriors “keep hope alive.”

Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.

Bootleggers vs. Juggernauts

Jon Woods’ “Can’ton Coots” are down a cylinder and may well find their big, black Johnson County Sheriff Dodge behind the wall with the hood by late Sunday afternoon when they pay a visit to Lincoln to play Allyson Edwards’ “Juris Prudence Jugheads”, who will not win their division but still find themselves in second place in the points and, more importantly, have the minimum seven wins necessary to get their foot in the championship derby door. Nevertheless, the Nauts want to go into the play-offs with some momentum and the Bootleggers should prove to be the perfect foil to help them do just that. ELVO clearly favors the homestandin’ Juggernauts and for once may actually be right.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Gamblers vs. Mayors

The “Nawlins Wagin Cajuns” will stop boiling crawfish and slurpin’ down bowls of jambalaya long enough to make the trip up I-65 to the Magic City where Alan Arrington and his “Pork Pluckin’ Pols” will await them at their Fair Park digs. The Birmingham locals had best enjoy a few more nostalgic trips down memory lane at this historic field before Alan and his cronies build their domed stadium with the blood and on the backs of the overworked, overburdened taxpayers of Birmingham. The Mayors’ tax ‘n spend philosophy has kept their dynasty in power and even brought home a much sought after, untainted BDFL title over the years, but this season they will find themselves on the outside looking in when the eight team free-for-all starts to crown a new champion. On the other hand, the Gamblers are poised to win another division title and see the Mayors as little more than an appetizer before the main course arrives. And who is the Great Wizardo to say otherwise?

Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.

Sloth Monsters vs. Cheetahs

The “Lake Cyrus Woblin’ Goblins” find themselves a mere point out of first place in the Green Horn Division with two to play, but also have their backs against the wall in the won/loss column and are in desperate need of two wins to close out the regular season to even qualify for Big Dance consideration. Meanwhile, Butch Neal’s “Humpin’ Harlots” have battled back to get to the magical Mendoza line of seven wins plus they have a play-off worthy point total to match. The Wizardo always says that “necessity is the mother of invention” and believes when the Sin Wagon finally stops rockin’ it will be the Sloth Monsters coming out on the long end of the stick while the Cheetahs get put up wet after a long hard night’s ride.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"Chris Hand and his “Banana Eatin’ Certified ‘B’ Class Ballplayers” may pull on their fire engine red, painted on, polyester coaching shorts and their “Heartbeat of America” wife beaters just like everyone else, but it is their dominance on the rest of the field in recent weeks that has the the league taking notice. "

2007 Wisdom

2006 Wisdom

Past Wisdom

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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