THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

 TheBDFL.com       WIZARDZ WINNERZ                    Week 10

Inside

The BDFL

The BDFL

Column

of Fame

Past Wizard

Wisdom

ww04

www1

www2

www3

www4

www5

www6

www7

www8

www9

From The Crystal Ball
The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

By The Wizard

Week 10

Bullets vs. Dogs

Mark Burr and his “Coalburg Bone Buriers” have been more effective at burying their chances of a division title than anything else this year, and the weekend holds little promise that the Dogs will dig themselves back into contention in the YHD when they host Jerome Hand and the “Inside-the-Black-Belt Bureaucrats” Sunday afternoon. The Bullets remain in the thick of the RND race to the chase and can ill afford to stub their toe at Five Mile Crick Stadium if they plan on finally posting a BDFL title without an asterisk beside it. Even if the Bullets do “two and que”, the walk to find some good barbeque will be a short one with his grandma’s house across the way. Not to worry says the Great Wizardo, the crystal ball says it will be the Bullets who’ll be giving the Dogs a bone come crunch time…although not necessarily on the end the Dogs would have preferred.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.

Woosiers vs. Wildcats

The Wizard says it’s a good thing Tommy Todd and the “Woeful Woos” have friends in low places because being in the basement of the BDFL guarantees they’re getting to spend a lot of quality time with them this season. As a word of friendly advice to Tommy, when ordering whiskey and beer to drown and chase his blues away, respectively, the Wizard thinks it might be a good idea to order it by the barrel for a price break since the Woosiers will need all they can to help them forget what a dreadful year they are having, and to try and also forget that it is only one year removed from a BDFL championship. Nevertheless, waiting on the Woosiers arrival will be Jerry James and his “Ferocious Felines” who have been anything but tame for the better part of the year and sit atop the YHD with only six games remaining to decide who will go title dancing. Nevertheless, recent weeks have seen the Cats showing more purr than claw and, as only he can do, the Wizardo forecasts a stunning upset on Sunday that may be the end of the beginning for the Wildcats and turn their “Just Say No” victory tour into the “They Just Blow” tour.

Wizard’s Winner…Woosiers.

Wooden Warriors vs. Grenades

After spending the better part of the year on cruise control in the weak-as-water GHD, Jaimie Hand and the “Spearchuckers” find themselves playing with fire in the form of the “Bullet/Mendoza Line” with a record that leaves them susceptible to being the first team in BDFL history to be denied a chance at a championship due to a sub .500 winning percentage, in spite of their point total. The recent fall of the Wooden Warriors can likely be traced back to the Tribe listening to too much Mick Jagger music and bad mouthin’ their country. Meanwhile, headed in the other direction are Chris Hand and the “Green Springs Glue Factory.” The Grenades have been shutting down opponents in recent weeks much the same way Chris did future Bama great Joey Jones in the 1980 North-South All Star game at Bryant-Denny Stadium as a young “lock down” cornerback, and the Grenades would like nothing better than to put the clamps on Chris’ kid brother Jaimie while pushing his Warriors one step closer to the edge of oblivion. After the All Star game a beaming Chris Hand responded “I waxed the dude” when asked about his performance against Jones and the Wizard says the Wooden Warriors will stick around to get at least two coats from the home team.

Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.

Wizards vs. Power Sleds

Merlin and the “Dream Weavers” remain on the brink of being pushed out of BDFL title contention eligibility and hope to salvage a very tough season in the won-loss column with a little help from the schedule maker, which has been sorely lacking the last few Sundays. Any plans they have of salvaging 2005 will start in Fairfield where they’ll come calling on Jack Barnes and his “Friday Night Softball League Heroes”. The Power Sleds have long been known for their Friday night heroics on the softball diamond and will need to resurrect some of those ghosts from the past if they are to avoid falling by the way side in the GBD. The Wizards are better than their record indicates and have no intention of letting the Sleds slug their way to an easy win, so Jack had better wrap up tight the tender ham he used to tweak on occasion in the Ward Memorial Park Wednesday Night Softball League before taking the field Sunday afternoon if his Sleds are going to keep it between the ditches. Unfortunately for Jack, the ditches off of Richard M. Scrushy Parkway in Fairfield are wider than the road.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.

Juggernauts vs. Bootleggers

When Allyson Edwards loads her “Jugtown Jubilee” up in the Family Truckster for a trip to Bristol, don’t be surprised if Jon Wood gets his hopes up, only to be dashed later, when what he thinks is a load of moonshine jars turns out instead to just be the Nauts rollin’ into the East Tennessee foothills. Afterwards, it would also be wise to expect the “Kissin Cousins” to try and take out their anger on the visitors when they realize their mistake. Nevertheless, when the ruffled feathers get smoothed out both teams will have to get down to brass tacks quickly with much hanging in the balance in this Week Ten showdown. Both squads are legitimate division title contenders, but still have a tough row to hoe in the stretch run. Unfortunately for the Bootleggers, their team seems to be largely held together by baling wire and Bazooka Joe bubble gum at this point in the year and stands little chance of slowing the Juggernaut advance.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Cheetahs vs. Fighting Slovaks

Butch Neal and the “Geritol Jungle Bunnies” have been fighting to stay at the top of the highly competitive GBD during the past month, but have seen their fortunes wane enough in recent weeks to push them back into second place through Week 9. Nevertheless, help is on the way in the form of Adam Slovensky and the “Fleeing Slugs”, who should prove to be the Fountain of Youth to the gray-muzzled Cheetahs. The Slovaks are struggling in all phases of the game and loading up on a couple of New Orleans Aints’ “ham ‘n egger” running backs in the supplemental draft isn’t likely to brighten their prospects very much. Save a Week 8 anomaly and his embarrassing victory over the Wizards, Adam has been hammered on a weekly basis as badly as Tommy Kinney did by the entire Gardendale High School first string defense in the fall of 1979 (Wizard’s Note: Not the first time he ran the ball with no blocking, but the second.) and the Great Wizardo is hard pressed to see how the Cheetahs won’t pile on some more, the Slovaks drop ‘n add supplemental draft notwithstanding. However, the Wizard smells something in the air and it ain’t the Riverchase Cathouse at low tide.

Wizard’s Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.

Blades vs. Gamblers

Kenny Breal and his “One-armed Bandits” have been locked into first place in the Red Neck Division for the better part of the year and Kenny sees no reason why the Gamblers can’t run off and hide from the rest of the division during the stretch. However, before Kenny can make plans for a run at his third BDFL title, the Gamblers will have to tackle the “Butter Cutters” in Week 10 and prevent the Blades from hitting the jackpot before heading back up I-65 Sunday evening. The Gamblers don’t pay for their bright neon lights and fancy casinos with winners, but rather they are financed on the backs of losers, and few have been on the short end of the stick this season as have the Blades making this a game the Gamblers should be eyeing with relish. So far in 2005 the Blades have hardly been worth the price of admission and most see little reason they will be able to put enough of an edge on their game to cut more than the cards come game time. Nevertheless, in what amounts to the third momentous upset pick of the week by the incomparable Wizardo, the Blades will take their scythes to the Gambler’s caviar dreams and leave Kenny going back to the drawing table looking for answers.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blades.

Mayors vs. Sloth Monsters

Mike Dismukes and his “Mistakes on the Lake” (Silver Lakes that is), may have no realistic chance at a division title, but are in prime position to play the role of the spoiler for the “King and His Court”, who saw their title hopes take a potentially mortal blow last weekend. Winning on the road is never easy in the BDFL, but if the Mayors hope to jumpstart their flagging poll numbers they had better start on Sunday. Otherwise, they can likely begin plotting their draft strategy for 2006. The surest signs of aging are a middle aged spread, thinning hair, and feet of clay, and the Wizardo thinks the Gray Beard Division Mayors have enough symptoms to declare their championship dreams null and void.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

Quote of the

Week

"Unfortunately for the Bootleggers, their team seems to be largely held together by baling wire and Bazooka Joe bubble gum at this point in the year and stands little chance of slowing the Juggernaut advance"
 

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL © 2005