THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

 TheBDFL.com          WIZARDZ WINNERZ                       2007

Inside

The BDFL

The Column

of Fame

From the crystal ball

The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

From The Wizard

Week 16

Woosiers vs. Juggernauts

After shoving aside the “immovable object” in the first round of the BDFL’s annual “Big Dance” extravaganza against the number one ranked Wildcats, Tommy Todd and the “Toke Risers” will attempt to resist the “irresistible force” in the form of Allyson Edwards and her “JoggerNauts”, who rolled into the semi-finals after easily dispatching of the Wooden Warriors with their powerful ground attack. For good measure, the Nauts also administered a queen-sized A.W. on the Woodies. Do the Woosiers have enough left in the tank to shock the known world two weeks in a row? The Wizardo thinks not and says that while it might be “snowin’ in Morris”, it will hardly be a “White Christmas”, or even a “white weddin’”, for the Woosiers a little further up I-65 in West Blount either.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Cheetahs vs. Fighting Slovaks

After both teams pulled off upsets, on the road no less, in the quarterfinals, Sunday afternoon the clock will strike midnight for one of them when the “Riverchase Speckled Kitties” travel to nearby Helena to play the “Old World Wahoos” in the second of two semi-final match ups. With the winner advancing to the finals, the Great Wizardo says there’ll be no “gimmes” handed out by either side. The Cheetahs are looking to make history by becoming the first three time BDFL champion (not including tainted titles) while the Slovaks have the even loftier goal of countering the “Curse-that-shall-not-be-named.” In the final analysis, the Slovaks will see their magical run halted although the curse that haunts the Hand family will still be in full effect.

Wizard’s Winner…the Cheetahs.

Wooden Warriors vs. Wildcats

If someone had told Jaimie Hand and his “Doo Doo Divers” they would be lining up to play the Wildcats this weekend, the Woodies would have gladly taken the challenge and congratulated themselves on advancing in the championship series. Although the Wooden Warriors are grateful they didn’t tear a rotator cuff patting themselves on the back, it might be preferable to the “A.W.” they received in Week 15 that sent them packing on their all too familiar “Trail of Tears.” As an even more bitter pill to swallow, Jerry James and the “Frisky Felines” saw their #1 ranking go all for naught, as it did two years ago, when their top seeding bore them little fruit in the play-offs.  Although both teams are relegated to spectator status throughout the last two rounds of the championship series, there is still money to be had in the BDFL free-for-all plus the opportunity to improve their year end ranking. While the Warriors will certainly be rank at the end of the day, it will have a lot more to do with the stench associated with yet another BDFL collapse than anything else.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.   

Gamblers vs. Grenades

Legendary NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt was cruising to a dominant win in the 1991 Daytona 500 on the last lap in the third turn, with no serious challengers mind you, when disaster struck after Earnhardt cut a tire allowing unknown Derrick Cope to slide by and take the checkered flag. It was Cope’s first and last time in victory lane and caused the Wizardo’s good buddy D.K. Hand to grumble, “That right there is $h!t pot luck. It’s just like a girl goin’ to Tuscaloosa for an oral copulating contest (Wizard’s Note: The Great Wizardo edited the comment for content.) and getting’ lockjaw in Bessemer.” Not the most elegant of comments, but it was certainly apropos. After watching this three sons head into the final week of the BDFL’s regular season with legitimate shots at a BDFL title only to see one of them (Bullet) get dropped after losing the regular season finale while the other two folded like a cheap tent in the opening round of the championship series, the Great Wizardo strongly suspects D.K. Hand thought about Earnhardt’s near miss at mortality, and likely muttered something very similar to what he did on that fateful February day. Chances are he will have to use that same phrase again on Sunday evening.

Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.

Bootleggers vs. Bullets

Despite making very hasty and equally as dramatic dives downwards, the Great Wizardo does not believe either the Hindenburg or the Titanic fell as far and as fast as the Bootleggers did in 2007. After being somewhat in the hunt at midseason, Jon Wood and the “Misty Mountain Moonshiners” crashed and burned by finishing the season dead last. Unfortunately for Jon, that spiral downward continued in round one of the Big Mullet Series, and will very likely continue in round two as well when they cross the Dallas County line to take on the “Benton Rebel Rabble” in the BDFL’s version of the NIT. The Bullets were cruelly eliminated from contention on the last day of the regular season only to see things get even worse when they were kicked to the lower tier of the BMS by their hated rivals, the Wizards. While beating the Bootleggers won’t do much to salve their wounds, it will be better to be delivering the knock out punch than to be on the receiving end of it.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.

Mayors vs. Wizards

A pair of former champions take to the field this weekend when the “Magic City Taxin’ Tyrants” try their hand at fleecing the local yokels in the Tampa Bay area when they play the “Pasco County Dixie Pixies.” The Pasco Wizards rolled out a lukewarm performance last weekend, the standard fare this season for the soon-not-to-be-reigning champions, and were surprised it was enough to give them a dubya and do a little to help rebuild their enormous and equally as large ego. While the Mayors will come to town with their coffers full, Merlin is hopeful they brought plenty of $1 bills to spread around one of the Bay area’s 49 strip clubs, and that they will leave with empty pockets, a smile, coupled with a loss for the long trip home.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.

Sloth Monsters vs. Dogs

Mark Burr and the “Pitiful Pooches” have spent the better part of the 2007 season slinking around in the back room of a dark alley or the trusty woods of Brookside to avoid being spotted by fellow Brookside resident Dwight Slowees, who knows all too well that a pistol and a bullet is all you need to quiet a troublesome mutt. While Mark has managed to avoid Slowees, he may not be as lucky when Mike Dismukes and the “Goofy Ghoulies” arrive Sunday afternoon. Mukes has been known to keep his pistol on his car dash so he can’t get arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, and claims to know the penal code as well as most policemen. The Great Wizardo thinks it’s hard to argue with logic like that.

Wizard’s Winner…the Sloth Monsters.

PowerSleds vs. Blitz

After spitting out BDFL championships like a pez dispenser in the BDFL’s early days, the closest Jack Barnes and the “Electric Bugaloos” have come to repeating that past success is in spitting out kids. While certainly a noble act, it does little to help feed their hunger for regaining the spot light on the BDFL’s biggest stage. Unfortunately for Jack, the BMS hardly affords him that opportunity, but it is still a chance for the league hierarchy to keep Jack on the road long enough to prevent him and lovely wife Lisa, or at least delaying them, from personally overpopulating the Deep South. With the Crimson Tide in route to Shreveport for yet another trip to the prestigious Poulan Weedwater Bowl, Bryant-Denney Stadium will be free for Jerry Fritz and the “Druid City Dope Dealers” to play host to the Sleds for the right to play in the equally as prestigious Big Mullet Bowl next week. Although they have a fork sticking out of their hide to show they are done, the PowerSleds will likely have the heat turned up even farther to guarantee they burned to a crisp by Sunday evening.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blitz

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"Mukes has been known to keep his pistol on his car dash so he can’t get arrested for carrying a concealed weapon, and claims to know the penal code as well as most policemen. The Great Wizardo thinks it’s hard to argue with logic like that"

2007 Wisdom

2006 Wisdom

Past Wisdom

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL ©