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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2008

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

    Week 17 - BIG DADDY CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES (BDCS) - FINALS

Bullets Win Big Daddy Bowl – Capture BDFL Championship

They are dancing in the square-block, paved streets of Benton (pop. 51), and a parade is planned. Bullet’s home-standing, beloved, Benton Bullets ran rough-shod through the BDFL in 2008, culminating in a come-from-behind vict’ry over the 8th seeded Fairfield PowerSleds in the Big Daddy Bowl. The win not only gives the Bullets their second BDFL Championship, but the most vict’ries in BDFL hist’ry. The Boys from Benton closed the season with “guns-blazing,” winning their last 5-games to climb atop the BDFL summit. Cementing Bullet’s status as a master-drafter and tactician, the Bullets basically won their final game with no points from their running backs (including NFL MVP candidate – DeAngelo Williams), but managed crucial points from all three WRs in the Championship Game. “How sweet it is,” said Bullet, who remains the only Hand (or Slovensky blood-line participant) with a Championship in the Big Daddy Football League.

Nauts Top Woo in Second Fiddle Bowl – Finish Third in BDFL

A.E.’s Rice Rockets only managed a dozen points in Week 17, but they still managed to top the still-reeling Woo Crew, by two. The vict’ry in the “Second Fiddle Bowl” gives the Jugtown Juggernauts third place in the BDFL for 2008. The Hayden Haymakers were unable to rebound from their gut-wrenching loss in the semi-finals of the BDCS, when they left Brandon Jacobs (18-points) off of their starters list. As for the Nauts, they plan to celebrate their (highest-ever) third place finish on Bourbon Street.

Cats Claw Wizards – Claim 5^th place

The James Gang closed the season in style, outscoring the Pasco County Wizards in the $3 Bill Bowl to capture 5th place in the BDFL. (That’s right, the winner of the Second Fiddle Bowl finishes third, and the winner of the $3 Bill Bowl finishes fifth in the bracketed BDCS, go figure.) This battle of past champions came down to the wire with the BioCats claiming a 7-point win. Afterwards, the James Gang’s black-headed children got a little too-close-for-comfort to the Pixie Dusters’ blonde daughters, causing a little friction between J.J. and Parks which was placated by a couple of games of “Pictionary” and (the Seinfeld version of) “Scene It.” Although the chaperones removed “contest” and “Mulva” episodes.

Woodies Scalped by Incarcerated Mayors

The Wooden Warriors playoff-season ended in three-straight losses in the BDCS to the Bullets, Wildcats, and Mayors. However, the worst of which was the two-point, gut-wrenching loss to the Cronies in the Old Proverbial Bowl. For the Mayors and the incarcerated Lowry Langford the vict’ry was sweet and they can now proceed with election promise number 69 – annexing New Castle, parts of Fultondale, and Black Creek.

BIG MULLET SERIES (from Bottom to top) - FINALS

Sloth Monsters – The (Reality) Series: Episode 16

In this week’s episode, the “cliff hanger” episode, Mukes is literally hanging from a cliff. The cliff is over the Five Mile Creek in Brookside, where his Sloth Monsters have just avoided the “Toilet Seat” award of the year by beating the Fighting Slovaks in the Toilet Bowl. (Surprise, surprise, the Slovaks finished Dead Last.) While hanging from the cliff (with just three-toes, mind you, and no plausible thumbs), Mukes flashes back to how he got in this position. A stellar draft led to a season of promise with lots of points – enough points to easily make the winner’s bracket (BDCS) and contend for a championship, but a run-in with the evil schedule-maker, and not enough wins to avoid the Mullet Series (see the Bullet Rule). But, a narrow vict’ry over the EuroTrash Talkers in the season finale led to a mini-celebration, which led to too many at Wayne’s Place, which led to the cliff. We’ll have to wait until next season to see what happens. Now we are stuck with re-runs for the remainder of the winter, spring, and summer. And, due to sagging ratings and sponsorship problems the network is now saying that the series will be cancelled for 2009.

Blitz Blitzes Grenades

The “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honors go to the Cool Springs Grenades in Week 17, as they are embarrassed (and held to single digits) by the Druid City Blitz in the “Dirty Sock Bowl.” Nuff said. It was the closest thing to an A.W. in an unusual week that saw mostly close games in the BDFL.

Dogs Defeat Cats

How the mighty have fallen. The defending Riverchase Cheetahs went out with a whimper in the Lower Feeder Bowl against the Brookside Dogs. Mark’s Mutts hammered the Sin Wagon and sent them packing for the off-season or New Orleans and Bourbon Street, depending on whom you ask.

Red Neck Redemption Continued

In a game more suited for the BDCS, the North Canton (Ohio) Bootleggers proved the prowess of the Rugged Red Neck Division in 2008, by beating the Gulf Coast Gamblers to capture the Big Mullet Bowl and the subsequent Big Ol’ Mullet award. So, for the first time in BDFL hist’ry, teams from the same division won both post-season brackets. “Red Necks Rule.”

The Staff of the Bulletin would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

The Bulletin/AP/ESPN Post-Season BDFL Awards

MVP – DeAngelo Williams – Bullets

Coach of the Year – Bullet Hand

The Bulletin All-Pro Team

QB: Peyton Manning – Bullets

RB: DeAngelo Williams – Bullets

WR: Roddy White – Bullets

PK: Jason Elam – Bullets

Click here for the spotlight close-up

Mukes Miller SpotLite of the week:

“Give it to Bullet,” said Mukes, “he’s the champ, and he let me sleep on his couch for six weeks.”

The Quote

of the Week

"They are dancing in the square-block, paved streets of Benton (pop. 51), and a parade is planned...How sweet it is"
 

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