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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2008

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

    Week 8

Sloth Monsters – The (Reality) Series: Episode 7

In this week’s episode, Mukes, Albert, and Jaimie are preparing to go to North Alabama to scout an upcoming opponent for the Gardendale Rockets.  A long drive lays ahead for the trio of quasi-football coaches turned scouts.  The task at hand is to make it to the game, and chart the tendencies of the other team.  As they are loading up, Jaimie notices that Mukes and Albert don’t have the same type of Nick Saban-like intensity and business-like approach to the situation.  So, in one of the series’ most tense situations, Jaimie confronts Mukes.  “Are we going to scout, or are we going to party?” asks Jaimie.  Mukes replies, “We’re going to scout!  Here hold this (and hands Jaimie a Fifth of Jack Daniels).”  The fuzziness fades and it turns out it was a dream sequence or ‘flashback.’  Back in reality in 2008, the Son of Slim finds the BDFL trend continuing for his Three Toed Tree Dwellers, as the Wooden Warriors put up the most points in Week 8 to put a big-time A.W. on the Sloth Monsters.  To quote Les Nicholas, “schedule me and all your troubles go down the toilet,” said Mukes.  The episode credits roll and we notice that the Woodies are the “Top Dog” of the week and the Sloth Monsters claim the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.”  As for the continuing misadventures of Mukes (and Albert); tune in next week, same bat time, same bat station.

Slovaks Silenced Again

“S” is for Sorry, “L” is for Loser, “O” is for Over-matched, “V” is for Vile, “A” is for Awful, “K” is for Kaput, and “S” is for Sick.  Whadda got? Slovaks.  Say it again, Slovaks.  Who’s gonna lose, Slovaks.  With that cheer, the Fighting Slovaks were ushered out of Benton on Sunday afternoon with yet another BDFL loss.  Cousin Bullet put a near-A.W. (18-points) on the EuroTrash Talkers in front of friends, family, and farmers down in Lowndes County.  For the woeful Pi Cap Caravan the drive back to Helena was not a pleasant one as they contemplated a season gone from good, to fair, to downright awful.  “Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate… Slovaks.  That’s who.”

New “Chief” Tops Topless Cheetah IIIs

After surviving an email and Internet scam, and campaign, and runaway freight train in cyber space, Jon Wood, aka, Chief Counsel, Intellectual Property for some C.S. Company in Canton, Ohio took out his frustrations on the Cheetah IIIs.  It seems the Wood Brothers – whose garage stall was infiltrated by his wife (breaking the unwritten BDFL guideline – not rule – but guideline, that wife’s aren’t supposed to mettle in league affairs), got a much-needed vict’ry to put his Bootleggers back on track.  However, the Bulletin is predicting that it will be a long time before the Whiskey Runners overcome the domestic setbacks suffered prior to Week 8 action.

Tarnishers Top Wildcats

With the Tampa Bay Rays teetering on the ‘brink of elimination’ in the World Series (they may actually be out by now), the Tampa Tarnishers are now the ‘talk of the town” in Tampa Town.  Parks’ Pixie Dusters continue a smooth run in the BDFL toward what may be an un-tarnished title in 2008.  Merlin and Company played host to the BioCats in Week 8, and proceeded to illustrate a couple of chemistry tricks they picked up at GHS from Mr. (I can cause a chemical reaction) Williams – or was it Ms. Carey?  At any rate, the James Gang was no match for Merlin in Week 8.  Now, Parks can turn his full attention to regaining some respectability in the race for the POTY.

Gamblers Slide to Sleds

Disgruntled Kenny Breal took his show on the road this weekend, and his Gulf Coast Gamblers – upon further review – have probably not fully recovered from an earlier season A.W., that they suffered at the hands of the lowly Slovaks.  On Sunday, in Fairfield under the shadows of Southern Electric Steel smoke stacks, the PowerSleds flexed their muscle with an old-fashioned grind-it-out, ball-hawking vict’ry over the Gamblers.

Grenades Bring Back More Than One Vict’ry

It was a mighty fine weekend for the Cool Springs Grenades and the Commissioner.  First of all, old Iron got a visit from sagely brother Bullet on Friday (although he couldn’t help the Father Ryan Fighting Irish and nephew Frank Hand against the juggernaut – Montgomery Bell Academy).  However, on Saturday Chris put his Family Truckster in neutral and coasted all the way to No Teeth, Tennessee.  There, amongst the horrid orange, he witnessed the A.W. of Phat Phil and the Volunteers by the Second-Ranked and Undefeated Alabama Crimson Tide.  Upon his return to the swanky rolling hills of Brentwood and Cool Springs, his beloved Grenades closed out the weekend with a close vict’ry over the Druid City Blitz.  “Roll Pride, Roll Tide, Go Grenades!” read Iron’s new bumper sticker.

Nauts Whip Dogs

Not since Darrell Kittle went to the gun cabinet and then to the back yard has a Dog been silenced this quickly in Brookside.  A.E.’s Juggernauts rolled across the Five Mile Creek on Sunday, and crossed the Rail Road Tracks (to the ‘other side of the tracks’), and then proceeded to whip the Dogs into submission, which took all of five minutes.  With their tails tucked firmly between their legs, Mark’s Mutts, turned away from the carnage and sulked away to a nearby bridge overpass (over more Rail Road Tracks) to commiserate with Skull guitarist and runaway Dodie Goode.

Woo Crew Too Much For Mayors (in more ways than one)

Tommy T. and his Smoke Risers in the Sky roared into the Magic City over the weekend and “put something on the Mayors that won’t come off with Ajax.”  Illustrating “more moves than Ex-lax,” the Woo Crew’s “actions spoke louder than words” in an “annihilation” (by six points) of the Cronies.  The Woosiers “punched ‘em in the mouth,” and “blew ‘em off the ball.”  The Woo Crew “made a statement,” and “played within themselves.”  It was a good illustration of “smash-mouth football.”  For their part, the Mayors “lacked intensity,” and did not play with a “oneness.”  The Cronies also failed to “come out with any intensity,” or any “fire in their bellies.”  

Molly Hatchet Line of the Week:

“We were gambling with their souls.  We were playin’ to win.  We were beatin’ the odds again.” – From Beatin’ the Odds.

Molly Hatchet Line of the Week II:

“You have your highs.  You have your lows.  But, nobody knows which way you’re going.  Whisky Man, don’t you play that hymn again.” – From Whiskey Man.

Stat of the Week:

ALABAMA 29, Tennessee 9.

Stat of the Week II: “Jarvis… no blocks, no tackles.”

Mukes’ Miller SpotLite:

Mukes Miller SpotLite of the week:

The Schedule Maker - has anyone in the history of the BDFL had a (negative) run like this?

The Quote

of the Week

" “S” is for Sorry, “L” is for Loser, “O” is for Over-matched, “V” is for Vile, “A” is for Awful, “K” is for Kaput, and “S” is for Sick.  Whadda got? Slovaks.  Say it again, Slovaks.  Who’s gonna lose, Slovaks.  With that cheer, the Fighting Slovaks were ushered out of Benton on Sunday afternoon with yet another BDFL loss"

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