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Inside
The BDFL
The Column
of Fame
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1995
Fairfield
PowerSleds |
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1996
Fairfield
PowerSleds |
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1997
Capital
City Bullets* |
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1998
Wizards of
Greystone |
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1999
Gulf Coast
Gamblers |
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2000
Gulf Coast
Gamblers |
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2001
Lake Cyrus
Sloth
Monsters |
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2002
Magic City
Mayors |
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2003
Riverchase
Cheetahs |
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2004
Smoke Rise
Woosiers |
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2005
Riverchase
Cheetahs |
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2006
Pasco County
Wizards |
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* The
Tainted Title |
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 From Underneath The
Rock in Media Void
The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries
By Bob Bullet
Week 6 -
Ladies Roar
“I am woman, hear me roar!” – Helen Reddy.
The Jugtown Juggernauts not only roared to 6-0 on the season, they did
so by drilling the Fairfield PowerSleds 77-13. That’s right. That’s not
a misprint. A.E.’s ‘Nauts put an A.W. on the Sledheads that they are not
likely to forget for a long time to come. The Rice Rockets were burning
on all cylinders this weekend, and left the hapless Metal Heads in their
considerable wake. With the lopsided vict’ry, the Nauts also claim the
“Big Daddy” and “Top Dog” (Adrian Peterson) of the week awards and the
cash prizes that come with them. “Oh, yes I’m wise, but it’s wisdom born
of pain. Oh, yes I’ve paid the price, but look how much I’ve gained. If
I have to, I can do anything. I am strong (Strong). I am invincible
(Invincible). I am woman!”
“Hear ’em whip the women just about midnight.” – Stones.
On the subject of whippings, how about the number the Rocky Ridge
Wildcats (formerly known as Mildcats) put on the Larry Langford-led
Magic City Mayors on Sunday. Still basking in the election vict’ry, and
apparently dodging campaign worker’s protests of “where’s my money,” the
Cronies were “blindsided” by the BioCats with an industrial strength can
of sulfuric acid. While the Mayors writhed in pain on the marble floors
of city hall, the ‘Cats celebrated with Frescas and Fritters and
contemplated a trip to Tuscaloosa to see the eldest cookie-cutter James
Gangster to commence celebrating with a game – or two – of pocket
billiards. Meanwhile, the (New) Mayor issued this statement: “All is
right with the world in Birmingham. Tax and spend liberal politics are
in vogue again. It could not come at a better time with the election
hanging in the balance today. If all goes as planed and my boy is
elected again, we will provide free "pork" to all those who supported
the coalition. Mass quantities of pork are already on the way to
Buffalo. Heck, we may even pass a proclamation designating Buffalo as
our "sister city". -- Shadow Mayor Arrington (actually that was the
Mayors statement after putting 61 on the Grenades in Week 5, but the
Bulletin didn’t get it in last week, as it arrived after press time).
“I got a woman. She won’t be true. I got a woman – stay drunk all the
time.” – Zepplin.
The commissioner can’t get a break – not from the league’s
ever-expanding “rank-and-file,” to the bouncers that continue to enforce
the “touch-and-go” policy. The (formerly) Green Springs Grenades were
again politely asked to leave Sammy’s after the Riverchase Cheetahs shot
them down, causing them to “crash and burn” like their folk hero Pete
Mitchell (Maverick), whereby they attempted to sing “You lost that lovin’
feelin’” then requested “another beer” to put out the flames, then tried
to “make a move,” in the bathroom. All of the above failed and Butch was
able to get Sharped Dressed (in all Navy whites) a cab ride back north
of the border.
“I went back to Ohio, but my city was gone,” Chrissie Hyne (The
Pretenders).
As the Wahoos were playing host to the BoSox, the North Canton (by way
of Bristol) Bootleggers were welcoming the winless Tampa Tarnishers to
town for what looked like an easy vict’ry. However, something strange
happened on the way to the Jake – or the ‘mistake by the lake.’ The
Tarnishers – playing without about half their roster – got a little bit
of (Merlin conjured up) Monday Night Magic and escaped the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame capitol with their first win of the season. All the
Tarnishers need now is 6 more wins, a 9th place overall finish in BDFL
total points, and they will be poised to defend their 2006 tarnished
title. “A, oh, way to go Ohio.”
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away,” Neil Young.
Like Randy "Burn Out" , the Benton Bullets have “burned out” midway
through October. What was a fictitious start for the Bullerino has come
to a screeching halt. In Week Six, the Boys from Benton absorbed yet
another loss, this one at the hands to the Gulf Coast Gamblers to fall
to 3-3 on the season, and despite a decent point total, the Bullets look
to be staring right down the barrel (“that’s blue and cold”) of the
infamous Bullet Rule. Meanwhile, the Gamblers are off to a 6-0 start,
and are giving all the credit for their fast start to their war-room
storm-team for draft night excellence. “Sitting next to Bullet didn’t
hurt,” said Kenny B. with a big grin on his face. “The Isle of Capri
awaits.”
“Don’t it always seen to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til
it’s gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot,” Joni Mitchell.
Did you hear that the Juggernauts scored 77-points and are undefeated at
6-0?
“I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day!” – Kiss.
The Smoke Rise Woosiers borrowed the trusty power sled from Mad Jack and
descended from the clouds and smoke this weekend on the unsuspecting
Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters. With speakers blarin’ and guns a flarin’
the Woosiers took no prisoners in crushin’ the Three Toed Tree Dwellers.
And, if the 14-point defeat or the “Mic Jagger music and the
bad-mouthing of the country” bothered the Son of Slim, it was hard to
tell. “He just laid there on the couch and kept eating those chips and
drinking that milk,” said one eye witness. Meanwhile, the Woo Crew looks
to me hittin’ that mid-season stride (and going past those DBs) headin’
for the BDCS.
“Now you’re messin’ with… now you’re messin’ with… now you’re messin’
with…” – Nazereth.
Well, the Brookside Dogs did not win this weekend, but they are
celebrating the fact that they did not receive the “Toilet Seat” award
for Week Six. Mark’s Mutts actually scored a respectable 22 points over
the weekend. However, it wasn’t enough to top the Druid City Blitz. The
enigma that is Da Fritz Blitz is hard to figure thus far in their
inaugural season in the BDFL. Of course, beating the Dogs won’t give
them any kind of vindication as a true playoff contender, but it does
add to their win total and push them closer to a shot at the
post-season.
“Keep it down home cuz,” Larry Blakeney.
In a cousin contest at the Black Crick Ballpark, the Walking Wounded
Wooden Warriors were edged by the Helena Fighting Slovaks on a
last-second, soccer-style, Livingston Saturday Night, Slovak field goal.
The boot gave the Slovaks another nail-biting vict’ry and earned the
Woodies another “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honor. Chief Kawliga has
enough points to contend (and even lead the lowly Green Horn Division)
in the BDFL, but unless they start winning some games, they are going to
be “outside the wig-wam lookin’ in” come post-season time. The Bulletin
reports that both Hime and Adam Slo ventured to the Booth for post-game
festivities.
“Before a put another notch in my lipstick case, you better make sure
you put me in my place.” – Pat Benatar.
Upon further review, he did step out of bounds and he did touch the ball
first.
Upon further review, the ‘Nauts are still undefeated.
The Third Saturday of October is approaching.
“Avoid the Christmas rush, start hating Tennessee now.”
“Nothing sucks like a big orange”
“Why do all the trees in Alabama lean to the north?” “Because Tennessee
sucks.”
“Rocky Top, you’ll never mean one darn thing to me.
We hate the volunteers. Go to #$!! Tennessee.”
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Quote of the
Week
"...the Gamblers
are off to a 6-0 start, and are giving all the credit for their fast
start to their war-room storm-team for draft night excellence.
“Sitting next to Bullet didn’t hurt,” said Kenny B. with a big grin
on his face. 'The Isle of Capri' awaits"
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