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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2008

Inside

The BDFL

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of Fame

From Underneath      The Rock in Media Void

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

The BDFL from A to Z by Bob Bullet

Adam: Slovak. Actually only ½ Slovak, from his father’s side… like the Hand boys (from their mom’s side).  His father, Ron, was an all-American kicker for Livingston (now West Alabama) in the early 70’s and he played for the Birmingham Vulcans in the old World Football League (NFL).  His three NFL tryouts were unsuccessful.  Adam – one of the league’s only frat rats – was a Pi Cap at Alabama, absorbing many injuries due to various ‘accidents.’

Butch: Metro (Little League) scat-back with blazing speed, supplanted at GHS by Barry Harrison.  Named his franchise after famous Atlanta hotspot Cheetah III, which began as BDFL laughing stock, now only team with three championships.

Chris: The Commissioner.  Likes to call himself Iron.  Metro quarter back with speed, supplanted at GHS by Paul Fields, but went on to excellent career as a DB (wolfback/rover and kicker).  Played JUCO baseball at Wallace-Hanceville.  Does not possess a BDFL title… but does have a Fantasy online and radio show in Nashville.

Dog: Escapee from Brookside, and tied for best success story (ever) from Brookside, along with Ron Slovensky (see above).  Twenty-year career as a banker, with a reputation for being “very careful with his money,” but now running his own business – Synergy Rubber up in Talladega.  Famous for (jackhandles and knives) Brookside street fighting techniques honed as an adolescent (once hit future rock star Terry Tarrence with a coke bottle, knocking him out cold).

Edwards, Allyson: Only female member of the BDFL.  High school multi-sport star at GHS and (not borderline) genius, with multiple post-secondary degrees including CPA and Law Degree.  Works at the Honda automotive plant in Lincoln (near Talladega) and religiously attends the Labor Day Jugtown Jubilee in Gardendale (formerly know as Jugtown), hence the name of her franchise; the Jugtown Juggernauts.

Fairfield: Former hometown of two BDFLers; Jack Barnes and Jerry James (who were roommates at Alabama in the 1980’s).  “Mad” Jack Barnes took Fairfield for the home of his franchise the Power Sleds, aptly named after a hard rock tour in the 80’s that was bringing some head-bangers to town (Birmingham) on the power sled (through tremendously overcast skies).  Played football at FHS to what distinction is not clear, and married Gardendale girl Lisa Wates.

Gardendale: “God’s Country” home of most BDFLers, and the Gardendale Rockets.  Legendary high school football power in the 1980’s (best record in the decade in Metro Birmingham and 6^th in the state) under head coaches Ed Bruce, Dale Cook, and Alan Pridmore.

Hand, Bullet:  Author of the Bulletin, and former GHS bench-warmer, with ironic nickname stemming from his ‘lack’ of speed.  Former radio and TV sportscaster in Tuscaloosa, Dothan (media void), and Montgomery.  Only Hand boy with BDFL Championship, lives now in Black Belt hamlet of Benton, Alabama – population 51 in Lowndes County.

Isolite:  1970’s feature of syndicated (bowl) network Mizlou to highlight a play in slow-motion (instant replay) with a spotlight.

James Gang:  For Jerry James, who usually shows up with his ‘gang’ of young cookie-cutter sons at BDFL outings.  Jerry originally met the Commissioner at some East-West all-star high school baseball games in the early 1980’s before becoming one of the many fixtures at Bates Manor events in T-Town.  His atom-splitting high-tech abilities led him to suburban Chicago into some kind of biochemical position before returned (close to) home in Vestavia for another lab-coat type position (we think).  He has the blandest name in the BDFL with the Wildcats, so all attempts are made to reference the team as the BioCats or Mildcats.

Kawliga: Famous Hank Williams Sr. and Hank Williams Jr. song about a wooden (Cigar Store) Indian. “Poor old Kawliga, he never got a kiss.  Poor old Kawliga, he don’t know what he missed.  Is it any wonder, that his skin is red? Kawliga, poor old wooden head.” Obviously, inspiration for Jaimie’s Wooden Warriors.  Jaimie: former GHS place kicker in footsteps of brother Chris (and Uncle Ron), however he took it to new level with scholarship to Troy (State), where he picked up the nickname Bocephus (same as Hank Jr.) for his preference for Hank Jr.’s rockin’ country and rebellious nature.

Larry Langford: Mayor of Birmingham, with former career as County Commissioner and TV reporter.  Not the Mayor that Alan Arrington’s Mayors are named after.  The BDFL’s Mayors are named after former Mayor Richard Arrington, who held the position for more than 20-years.  Alan is a former GHS hoops player under Jack Standridge.

Mukes: Legendary long-snapper at GHS until Hueytown crumpled his knees in vicious and blatant attempt to injure Mukes, returned to play tackle on famous line left of Burkett, Stephenson, Jarvis, Caviness, and Parks (“boys it don’t look good”).  Lifelong friend and compatriot with former GHS and Livingston (now West Alabama) DL Albert Reeves.  The duo made famous numerous trips to Mike’s Handy Food Mart on Highway 31 near the Gardendale-Fultondale line in the summers consuming too much to document here.  Followed father’s (Slim Dismukes) career to Otis Elevators (where business was up and down) to wife’s women’s consignment stores, to realtor.

No Teeth, Tennessee: Anywhere near Knoxville, home of the wretched Vols.  By proxy, and artistic license home of the Bristol Bootleggers under Jon Wood, who apparently now lives near Cleveland or Canton, Ohio.  And, by virtue of his distance away from the Birmingham/Gardendale hub of the BDFL, often drafts by proxy.  Friend and benefactor of the commissioner (nuff said).

O: O has in nothing.  Amount we know about Jerry Fritz and the Druid City Blitz. Friend and benefactor of the commissioner (nuff said).

Parks: Only BDFL member with NFL experience, played with the Houston Oilers, Tampa Bay Bucs, and Green Bay Packers with NFL stats of one reception for 22-yards.  College football at Auburn, following a high school all-American career at GHS as a tight end, also starred in basketball for Jimmy Armstong.  Author of Wizards’ Winners a parody of Leonard’s Losers – football prognostications.

Q: Most everybody knows what Q stands for in the GHS, House of Sarcasm (#21 Bates Manor) vernacular, so there.

Rivals:  Practically all BDFL teams have heated rivals both inside and outside of their divisions, it’s what makes for a stellar league.

Softball: Sport played by most of the BDFL clientele at one time or another, practically all in the past.  Softball in Biloxi, Mississippi at some sort of ‘all you can drink’ banana-eating home run derby tournament led to the inclusion of Kenny Breal’s Gulf Coast Gamblers in the the BDFL.  That and a few free trips to historic Lambeau Field (the frozen tundra) in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  Other news on Kenny is limited albeit you can clearly put him in the category of Friend and benefactor of the commissioner (nuff said).

Tarnishers: Name given to Park’s franchise by the Bulletin for winning title with lower-tier (below 8^th) overall point total.

U: U-G-L-Y, U ain’t got no alibi, U ugly, absolutely ugly. [runner up: “look on the scoreboard and see who’s behind, U, U, U!”]

Vict’ry Chicken: Pre-game meal of champions and tailgaters everywhere especially outside Bryant-Denny Stadium.

Woo: Tommy Todd nickname of disputable origin.  Another GHS speedster (WR) and multi-year State Wrestling Champion, who now resides in Smoke Rise in Hayden in (bumpkin) Blount County.  Author of the WARTS: Woosiers Accurate Real Time Scoring, which has put the BDFL up in the technology ranks of any fantasy football league.  Nickname Woo obviously spawned the BDFL franchise Woosiers (like Hoosiers, but with an “H”).

X-rated: Many of Woosiers (alleged, rumored, and legendary) exploits, which have never been confirmed by the Bulletin, but are good fodder for the publication and the overall goal to make us bigger than life and more important than we actually are in the grand scheme of things.

Y: Why, from the Mickey Mouse Show, because we like it – the BDFL – of course

Zero: Number of BDFL Championships – in 14 years – for BDFL Founder and Commissioner, Chris Hand.

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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

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