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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                         2006

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The BDFL

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of Fame

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 9
 

“What we have here is failure to communicate.”

Who’s hot?

The PowerSleds.  Mad Jack’s thundering, rumbling, PowerSleds stormed down from an “imminence front” into sleepy, little Benton on Sunday afternoon, and hammered the Bullets into submission by turning Rebel Stadium into a pretty, pretty, pain cave.  The bludgeoning left the Bullets more than a little “dazed and confused.”  “Sunshine, people forget…”

Who’s hot (honorable mention)?

The Wooden Warriors:  A bright spot in a sorry season for Chief Kawliga came this weekend down on the reservation, when the Tribe took it to the Wildcats.  In fact, the James Gang was missing more than their slide rule when they finally cleared the last tee-pee on their way back to Rocky Ridge.  As for the Woodies, they celebrated on Sunday in Brookside with the Bullets, Fighting Slovaks, and Uncles Phil, Jimmy, Ron, and Don.  Each appeared to have dividend checks from some sort of Birmingham News football parlay from the 1980’s.

Who’s not?

The Grenades:  How low can you go?  The Commissioner took an all-expenses-paid (aren’t they all) trip to Jacksonville to see his beloved Tennessee Titans fall behind 37-0 against the Jaguars, on their way to another big “L.”  The ‘Aides didn’t fair any better.  The Real Deal, Kenny Breal, and his holster-clad Gamblers also dropped in to drop a bomb on the Nashville Cats.  Four points from the Grenades gives them undisputed and unanimous claim to Week Nine’s “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honors.

Stat of the week:

18-carries, 172-yards, 3-TDs, 18-BDFL points: L.T. (Chargers – PowerSleds) powers the PowerSleds with 3 second half touchdowns in their vict’ry over the Bullets.

Play of the week:

Javon Walker (Broncos – Woosiers) scores on a 72-yard running play to boost the Broncos to a big win, and provide the margin of vict’ry for the Woosiers against the Mayors.  In fact, Walker had another short TD-run, and a 50-plus yard TD reception to earn an 18-point day in the BDFL.  The Woo Crew danced the Rocky Horror, Time Warp, “pelvic thrust” all the way from Fair Park to Hayden late Sunday afternoon picking up citations and phone numbers in equal numbers.

Quote of the week:

Mayor Arrington: “What wide receiver scores 18-points in one game?”

Edspiration answer:

Maybe Gardendale’s Rod Greene, Benjamin Russell’s Terrell Owens, or Emma Samson’s Freddie Weygand:

“Whine” of the weak:

Surprise, it comes from Merlin the Magician, the Wizard, D.A., T.E., Pixie Duster, Parks: “Since this is the second week in a row you shorted me, (WARTS) I believe this officially falls in to the ‘chicanery’ category. One more misstep Mr. Woosier and I may consider including you in the Kick Off Cash curse!”

Wine and cheese of the week:

While the Wizards are apparently struggling mightily this season against the Evil Las Vegas Oddsmaker (ELVO), the Pasco County Whiners did get a come from behind Monday Night Football-aided vict’ry over the Blades.  Although no longer living in the Wine & Cheese section of 280, the Bulletin is quite sure the Pixie Dusters are within a “Bullet 3-iron taunt” of some form of Country Club.  In fact, word from the Greater Tampa area (not to be confused with Tampa Bay) is that Parks is regularly causing back pains for his golfing partners, who continue to carry him. 

“Out there” of the week:

What do they do at Alabama Adventure Park during the off-season? “Nothing,” replied Adam Slo, “Well, you know, budgets, calendars, bookings.  Hopefully we can land (Disney’s) Hannah Montana (played by Miley Cyrus – daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus), or the Cheetah Girls.” (No relation to the Sin Wagon version of the same name.)  By the way, the 5’7” Slovak prince was beaten by a girl this weekend.  A.E.’s Juggernauts, who lead the Yellow Hammer Division, continue a marathon march to a winning record.  The ‘Nauts took care of the Fighting Slovaks at Rocket Stadium this weekend, where the legend of Ron Slovensky’s 1969 game winning field goals against Gardendale climbed to an astounding seven.

Speaking of Cheetahs:

The Cheetahs can’t seem to catch a break in 2006.  This weekend the Woods Brothers dropped in, in Valleydale and left the Sin Wagon derailed.  Maybe they can get pumped up if the Cheetah Girls come to town.  Meanwhile, the Bootleggers celebrated a vict’ry south of the border with corn pawn, corn mash, and Corn Flakes and a little dueling banjo music.

“Seinfeld” sit-com moment (deferring to Thursday night predecessor “Cheers”):

“Norm!”

“How’s it going Mr. Peterson?”

“It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milkbone underwear.”

Part two:

“Norm!”

“How’s it going Mr. Peterson?”

“Poor.”

“Oh, I hate to hear that.”

“No, I mean pour (pointing to the tap).”  [And, you wonder why he’s Bullet’s hero.]

Reason #16, 17, and 18 to be in the BDFL:

16. Free tickets to Alabama Adventure Park, 17. Free Parking at Raymond James Stadium for Central Florida games (towing and impounding is extra), and 18. Free HealthSouth stock with any the purchase of BDFL paraphernalia.

Nails, light bulbs, watermelons, Coke bottles, aluminum cans, and worm pills:

The Dogs threw everything they could find at the Sloth Monsters this weekend, only to come up short of the mark against the Three Toed Tree Dwellers.  Oh, the Monsters took all of the bait (and a little Copenhagen – pronounced Coppen-Hagen), but still managed to pull out a vict’ry when honorary Brookside resident Randy Moss came up empty on MNF.  At least the Dogs avoided a third straight toilet seat award.  The Son of Slim celebrated by eating 50 Krystals.

Cool Hand Luke quote (#2, if you didn’t catch the opening line):

“I can eat 50 eggs.”

Quote of the

Week

"In fact, Walker had another short TD-run, and a 50-plus yard TD reception to earn an 18-point day in the BDFL.  The Woo Crew danced the Rocky Horror, Time Warp, “pelvic thrust” all the way from Fair Park to Hayden late Sunday afternoon picking up citations and phone numbers in equal numbers"
 

Back Bull 2006

Back Bull 2005

2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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