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The BDFL

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From Underneath The

Rock in Media Void Week 1

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

The Bulletin Week 1: “…and they’re off!”

Who’s hot?

The Woo Crew.  Tommy T’s country bumpkins come out of the gate with a blast scoring 40-points and sending the rank-and-file of the BDFL through the latest WARTS with a fine-tooth-comb to see where Woo might have doctored the numbers.  Needless to say, but the Woo Crew is well on its way to defending last season’s Red Neck division championship.

Also hot, the Mildcats after getting 18-points during duel Monday Night Football games edge the defending champion Cheetahs, proving once again the power of the pamphlet and “just say no” picks.

Stay hot!

The Pasco County Wizards are living in the moment.  After a huge return to the Tampa Bay area, and some excellent “spin” on his Buccaneers 1-catch for 22-yards career numbers, and his absentee draft night number one selection, the old Wizard is basking in the Crystal Ball of being 1-0 after trouncing the Gamblers.

Who’s not?

The Gamblers get a measly four points to start the season.

Who else?

The Slovaks.    The Mayors.

Stat of the week:

In the same Thursday night kickoff game: Ronnie Brown (Woosiers - Dolphins) 15-carries, 30-yards, 2-TDs, 12-BDFL points; meanwhile Willie Parker (Bullets – Steelers) rips off 115 yards rushing on 29 carries, but gets 0-TDs, 0-BDFL points.

Runner up: Mad leaves Wilkins (21-points) on the sidelines but still gets the vict’ry.

Quote of the week:

Adam – Lord of the Slovaks – said, “props to the webmaster c.hand... roll tide… slovaks rule, and word to all ya'lls mutha's, out.”  It’s a good thing the Bulletin has staff that speaks “jive.”  Translation: “Good job Chris Hand on the website.  Roll Tide (God Bless America, Chevrolet, and Apple Pie) Slovaks have their own country (and other countries are glad to be rid of them).  And, ‘hello’ to all other BDFLers.”

Quote of the week II:

“I did not understand a word - all gibberish to me,” said Dog.  (Dog is just pulling a “Giddy” and trying to distance himself from his Brookside past, which quite surely included run-ins with Jerome Jackson or Booger Bass or a Slovak or two.)

Edspiration:

Ed said, “I wish we could have scheduled Hayden when I coached the Rockets.” (Following Gardendale’s 47-7 victory over Hayden) Whether or not Woo had anything to do with Hayden losing is still being investigated.  The Bulletin has only received reports of Woo ‘straightening out’ the Hayden little league baseball program.  I guess they’ll ask him to look at pee-wee football next.

Play of the week:

From Thursday night, Pittsburgh’s defense gets an “oh-by-the-way” interception return inside the last 3-minutes of the game to give the Dog’s a very important 6-points, pushing the Boys From Brookside ahead of the Grenades for a Week One Win.

“I’m setting the standard for beating the Commissioner once again,” said Dog.

“Out there” of the week:

Too many chiefs and not enough Indians:  The Wooden Warriors selected three RBs from the Washington Redskins and tried to play them all in Week One. “A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y,” said Hime in reference to one of his favorite songs/chants from college-days, Palmerdale band, “Slick Lilly.”

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

“So you want to be my Latex salesman,” Seinfeld said to a pants-down, prostrate Costanza after Kramer forgot to answer the phone, “Vandelay industries.”

Kenny Breal to Frank Hand (who drafted his 2006 team, which flopped so miserably in Week One) “So you want to be my Latex salesman.”

Reason #12 to be in the BDFL:

It’s a legal, extra way to spend your spare time jankin.’

Reason #44 to be in the BDFL:

Where else would you get information on Lyle and Woo?

Generation Next:

Frank Hand (15, son of the Commish) is playing wide-out and DB for the Father Ryan Fighting Irish.  Reportedly he still needs a haircut, and deserves credit or blame for anything the Gamblers do this season.  The Gamblers only scored 4-points in Week One.

Generation Next II:

Matthew Hand (almost 3, son of a Bullet) attended his first Alabama game this past Saturday.  He is undefeated thus far.  He is also undefeated in Pigskin Predictions.  On Friday (before the game) he said, “Vandy’s gonna lose.”  (Yes. That’s a given on most Saturday’s in the fall, but The Bulletin is giving him the benefit of the doubt.)

Generation Next III:

Jacob Burr (5, son of Dog) also made his Bryant-Denny Stadium debut Saturday along with his dad and “Big Jack” (Mad).  “He did great,” reports Dog.  He wants to go back with Big Jack.

-Please send us your Generation Next news-

Next week:

In the only battle of undefeated teams, the BioCats travel to Pelham to take on Tyler Watts, Lane Bearden, Dabo Sweeney and Lyle Arrington and the Blades.  Also in the most acrimonious match-up from years gone by (4-2) the Slovaks venture south of the border – no, not to Lithuania – but to Florida to take on the Wizards.

Quote of the

Week

"What’s a matter Colonel Sanders… chicken?” Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet in Mel Brook’s SPACEBALLS!"

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