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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2007

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By Bob Bullet

Week 13 - “Uh-huh” – Cougar (all but one from the 80’s album)

“This is serious business, sex and violence and rock and roll.”

(And fantasy football.)  Chief Knock-A-Homer visited the reservation this weekend and rallied the tribe to 33-points and a big vict’ry over the Brookside Dogs.  The Black Creek Wooden Warriors used the vict’ry to keep their slim Big Daddy Championship Series hopes alive, improving to 6-and-7 on the season.  It seems the Tribe was able to reconstruct the original Nocahoma tee-pee (that was taken down from the left-field stands in an Art Clarkson-like move during the heat of the Atlanta Braves 1982 pennant race to allow for more seats).  After it was finally reinstalled, the Braves rallied to edge the Dodgers by one game in the old N.L. West.  [Note: Will the Commish now juggle the schedule to match the Green Horn’s Mukes vs. Hime in Week 14 to ensure 8-teams make it to 7-7 on the season?  The Bullets could get there too.  They are 6-7 also and the point totals for the Triangle Three are pretty close. Decisions. Decisions.]

“Staying alive,” Bee Gees (What are you going to do?)

Mukes’ Three Toed Tree Dwellers staved off eliminated via the Bullet Rule, with a monster win over the Riverchase Cheetahs and managed to pull a John Travolta and “stay alive” for the BDCS.  Now, the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters need a Week 14 win and enough points to push them into the “Big Dance.”  Mukes reportedly is taking the win and his late-season-stretch-run in stride.  He was recently seen (in women’s clothes) leaving Mike’s on the Gardendale-Fultondale line heading for the latest Jefferson County Association of Realtors meeting with confidant Albert and a couple cases of ponies.  “We’re going to sell houses.”

“Ain’t that America.”

Meanwhile, the remaining 6-and-7 team (of the Triangle Three) on the “outside looking in” to a potential spot in the BDCS is the Benton Bullets, who failed to “pull the trigger” on what should have been an easy vict’ry in Week 13 against the Druid City Blitz.  The Fritzers pancaked the Shag King 15-8, giving Bullet his 3rd single-digit outing of the season, and throwing a huge monkey wrench into his post-season plans – not to mention the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honors.  Already in Prattville (along with the powerful 6-A Lions) to regroup for an up-hill-battle against the Wildcats next week, the old Bullerino is side-stepping any questions about whether Preston Gothard’s job is in jeopardy.

“Forget about all that macho $#!@, and learn how to play the guitar.”

Son of a Chris – Frank – can play the guitar (does a pretty mean Skynyrd and even some Nirvana), but the jury is still out if the Grenades, despite their move to Nashville, can play.  However in Week 13, the Commissioner did his best pickin’-and-grinin’ as his Nashville Scorchers put up another vict’ry by edging the Tampa Tarnishers down on the Bay.  Chris has a “too-legit-to-quit” shot at his coveted first BDFL Championship and is now a lock for the Big Dance.  As for Parks and his rusty sidekick – the Wizard – he’s just hoping he can keep things rolling against ELVO.  At last glance the Wiz and ELVO were knotted at 47, but as always that’s up for dispute. “You may find a cushy job.  And, I hope that you go far.  But, if you really want to taste some sweet success, better learn to play a guitar.”

“He’s got greasy hair, greasy smile, he says, Lord this must be my destination.”

Adam Slo’s point total doesn’t give the Fighting Slovaks a lock on the Green Horn Division title, or a spot in the BDCS at this point.  But the EuroTrash Talker’s 9-4 record has turned some heads in the BDFL media tent.  Maybe more impressive, is the Slovaks 4-point vict’ry in Week 13 over the Rocky Ridge Wildcats.  That’s only the BioCats 2nd loss of the season, if you are scoring at home (and we know you are).  And the Bulletin knows that you know that we know.  So, the Slovaks and Wildcats will cruise into Week 14 “flying high and feeling mean” with the two highest (with a tie) win totals in the league. “…said boy you’re going to be president.  But, just like everything else, all those crazy dreams just kind of came and went.”

“Little pink houses for you and me.”

Kenny B’s Gulf Coast Gamblers notched a 10th win this weekend and appear to be in excellent shape for the BDCS, leading both the total points and win column in the Rugged Red Neck Division.  This past weekend the Riverboat Gamblers used a little Monday Night Magic to overcome the never-say-die or dome-stadium-or-die Mayors behind the leadership of new trigger-man Lowry Langford.  Playing for pride (and maybe a comfortable chair in the Mullet Series), the Magic City Mayors blew another game and now begin preparations for the PapaJohns.com Bowl that the Mayor is trying frantically to get changed to the Churches Chicken Classic or that KFC Bowl with mashed potatoes, corn, and vict’ry chicken.  (Fans in Cincinnati and Hattiesburg have been jamming LLangford.com for hours.)

 “I fight authority.  Authority always wins.”

Fairfield may be the former home of Mayor Lowry, but the Power Sleds are not dwelling in the past.  Playing for pride, the Sled Heads overcame an ear-splitting weekend battle with the Smoke Risers in the Sky to notch a meaningless vict’ry in Week 13.  The Woo Crew’s 8-and-5 record looks good on paper, but their relatively low point total leaves a lot to be desired.  In fact, watch for a potential WARTS protest if the Commission tweaks the schedule and two teams (either the Bullets, Sloth Monsters, or Wooden Warriors) come out with 7-and-7 records and could very easily move past the Woosiers for the final BDCS spot.

“When the walls come tumblin’ down.”

The Bootleggers’ move to O.H.I.O. – while applauded by everyone in the BDFL – did not return the desired dividends for the Wood Brothers in 2007, as their Big Block Dodge spent most of the season “up on blocks.”  The Whiskey Runners were officially eliminated from the BDCS in Week 13 via the Bullet Rule with their 8th loss of the season.  The Mighty Jugtown Juggernauts fired the final shot to down the Bootleggers as A.E.’s Rice Rockets go for their 1st legitimate shot at the (all men’s lawn and tennis) championship.

LATE ADD: Happy Birthday to the Commissioner, who turned 46 this week.

Springsteen: “Time slips away and leaves you with nothing mister, but boring stories of… Glory Days.”

On to Shreveport! Come on let’s go! (Mukes, (son) Jeremy, Bullet, and Jaimie are in – along with D.K. and Mary Ann.) We hear it’s wonderful there this time of year.

Quote of the

Week

"...the Magic City Mayors blew another game and now begin preparations for the PapaJohns.com Bowl that the Mayor is trying frantically to get changed to the Churches Chicken Classic or that KFC Bowl with mashed potatoes, corn, and vict’ry chicken"

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