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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2007

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 4

“Shoot to thrill.  Play to kill”

“Hey, Big Daddy!” multiple – standard BDFL greeting

If you’re looking for one game that had it all (or nearly all) for Week 4 in the BDFL here it is.  The weekly rewards of “Big Daddy,” “Top Dog,” and “Toilet Seat Team of the Week,” and throw in – for good measure – an A.W. in a heated rivalry, this was it: Benton Bullets vs. Tampa Tarnishers.  Of course, the Bullets won, putting an A.W. on the TT’s 33-10 at Raymond “you-don’t-have-to-call-me-Johnson” James Stadium in Tampa Town.  Bullet got the “Top Dog” award for scoring 33, while the erstwhile Merlin earned yet another “Toilet Seat” award scoring a measly 10 points. (The Bulletin is sure the Commissioner’s office will come up with some kind of asterisk to mark such a one-sided, dominating vict’ry for the middle child.)  Bullet’s (Detroit) defense put up 18 to earn the “Big Daddy” and old-number-4, Brett Favre continues to play well for the Benton Bullets (and Green Bay Packers, who are 4-0), who moved to 3-1 on the season and take over the Total Points lead in the BDFL.  “Ready, Aim, Fire!”  Apparently, Bullet (and a few of his closest friends) celebrated by taking a limo tour to Clearwater and St. Pete before returning to the Admiral Bimbo for the night.  Oh by the way, the Tarnishers fell to 0-4.

“I’m not waiting on a lady. (I’m just waiting on a friend.)” The Stones

The only lady in the BDFL remains undefeated through four brutal weeks of play.  The Jugtown Juggernauts kept its record in 2007 unblemished by the slimmest of margins on Sunday, winning in overtime (16-16 with longest scoring play) against the Commissioner at Driver Stadium in Gardendale.  The Green Spring Grenades were slow to admit defeat and relinquish a game to a bunch of girls, and were quite mystified that they could lose at Rocket Stadium after stealing from the Ed Bruce trophy case their famed #4 jersey and helmet with massive stars and skull-and-crossbones.

“Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river,” CCR

The Gulf Coast Gamblers borrowed a phrase from Mike Price and “kept it rolling” in Week 4.  Kenny B’s one-armed bandits made the trip to Hayden, took the best haymaker from the Smoke Rise Woosiers, and remained undefeated, and parlayed that success into a pleasant trip South through Tunica and Philadelphia, Mississippi.  As for this match up of previously undefeated Red Neck Division rivals, “something had to give.”  It turns out it was the Woo Crew which gave up early and often to the Riverboat Gamblers.

“Bang your head (mental health will drive you mad),” Quiet Riot

“Something also had to give” between a couple of teams looking for their first win of the season in Week 4 as the Brookside Dogs played host to the Fairfield Power Sleds.  Mad Jack got the better of Mark’s Mutts, but it wasn’t easy… because you can’t just stroll into Brookside and get across the Five Mile Creek and back again with coming up with a disease or two.  Luckily, for the Sledheads it was just typhoid and they’ve reportedly already received a vaccination for that.  The Dogs celebrated just having not won the “Toilet Seat” award. [Note: Alabama hasn’t won a game since Dog went to lunch with Mr. Coach Nick Saban Sir and Terry Tarence hasn’t had a hit record since Dog took a bottle to his head 30 years ago this week.]

“Wrap it up. I’ll take it,” Fabulous Thunderbirds

“Wrap, wrap, wrap it up. I’ll take it, and the Mistake-by-the-lake Bootleggers did by slugging the Eurotrash Rappers by a dozen in the friendly suburbs of Helena.  You can always tell when the Fighting Slovaks are going to bite the dust.  The rapping picks up, and the intensity goes down.  Thankfully, the BDFL rank-and-file can expect less-than-normal email raps from Adam Slo this week.  Meanwhile, the Bootleggers appear to be benefiting from being farther away from No Teeth, Tennessee.  But, we’ll see how they do come the “third Saturday (weekend) of October” in a couple of weeks.

“Meet the new boss, same as the old boss,” The Who.

The Riverchase Cheetahs still can’t seem to get the upper hand on these Magic City Mayors.  When everyone else (except for maybe the Commish) is handling the Cronies, the Sin Wagon tends to derail.  This weekend, Butch’s “three hours and a you-know-what” philosophy did not play itself out to his satisfaction and he found himself on the losing end again against Mr. Arrington and his entourage.  The Cheetahs then ventured home “rethinking” the lyrics to Pete Townsend’s “Rough Boys,” and found it not necessarily meaning what it did in the 70’s.

“The reality gave me a roll,” Steely Dan.

The reality of the BDFL confronted the Druid City Blitz this weekend in the form of the lab rats posing as the Rocky Ridge Wildcats.  The Fritz Gritz Blitz was blindsided by the BioCats in a game that was not as close as the score indicated.  In fact, it was over before it started.  The James Gang just wanted it more.  Jerry’s Cats just came out and executed better than the other Jerry’s Blitzers. The Wildcats stayed focused and took care of business.  The Blitz did not play within themselves.

Jaimie: “Are we going to scout or are we going to party?”

Mukes: “We’re going to scout.  Here hold this (hands him a bottle of Jack Daniels).”

Well, the annual battle between old Bocephus and Mukes was as classic as any.  It was a back-and-forth contest between man (Black Creek Wooden Warriors) and animal (Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters).  This time around the animals won.  For the Tribe, the loss was hard to take, knocking the once-proud Injuns to 0-4 on the season.  The Three Toed Tree Dwellers – meanwhile – wrapped a good three-toes around a couple of longnecks and celebrated long into the night (until they passed out).

“Turn around,” said Old Barry.

“Why?” said Mukes.

“Because we got to go to the liquor store,” said Giddy.

“Why?  We got (a gallon of draft) beer,” said Mukes.

“Because Jaimie gave up beer for Lent,” said Giddy.

“He can drink whiskey?” asked Mukes.

“Yeah, he didn’t give that up.”

Quote of the

Week

"Alabama hasn’t won a game since Dog went to lunch with Mr. Coach Nick Saban Sir and Terry Tarence hasn’t had a hit record since Dog took a bottle to his head 30 years ago this week"

 

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