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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                         2006

Inside

The BDFL

The Column

of Fame

From Underneath The

Rock in Media Void

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 10:

“Walk a little with me, want you carry a bit of my song.  I’m going to sing you a story about the place where I was born.  If I start slowing down, and I throw in too many ‘ya’ll’s’ (for you all). Won’t you bear with me buddy ’cause I think I’m feelin’ the call.”

Legend (not Randall Cunningham): aforementioned (adjective) = mentioned previously

Who’s hot?

The PowerSleds, again! Riding the appropriate “lightning bolt” that is LaDainian Tomlinson (4TDs), Mad Jack continues to lead the Gray Beard Division and the entire BDFL in total points.  This past Sunday, the Sledheads lowered the boom (bolts) on the unsuspecting Mayors.  It came out of the overcast skies over Fairfield, hovered over Fair Park, and did a fairly good job of sending the Cronies into the Black Void.  Chalk up another A.W. for the PowerSleds.

Who else is hot?

The Cheetahs ventured to Nashvegas and danced past the Grenades.  The Sin Wagon’s 35-points puts them “unofficially” in third place in the overall BDFL point-total standings, however the “Clutch Conquest on the Cumberland,” gives the Cheetahs a 4-6 record and a realistic chance of making the playoffs (and avoiding the Bullet Rule).  Like their beloved Titans, the season is practically over for the Commissioner.

Who’s not?

The Dogs, again!  What started – and continued (for a while) – as an undefeated season, has turned ugly for Mark’s Mutts of the Five Mile.  The Super Bankers MBA-venture into Rocket Stadium this weekend did not go well.  (“Dog should have stayed in the trees with the other Brookside rabble, had his doobie and retired to Wayne’s Place.) The Dogs got hammered by the Juggernauts who have a little bit more of a resume to hit the Mutts over the head with, aka the Coke bottle once taken to the head of rocker Terry Tarence.  A.E.’s ‘Nauts continue a second half surge thanks to her per perpetual 4.0, CPA, and Law Degree.  “Sue the bastards.”

Stat of the week:

LT again: 24-BDFL points on 4-TDs, 22-carries, 104-yards, and receiving; 6-catches for 54-yards.

Game of the week (for stats):

Chargers at Bengals: Carson Palmer; 31 of 42 for 440-yards and 3-TDs, including two over 50-yards to Chad Johnson (11-catches, 260-yards, 2-over-50 TDs for 12-BDFL points), and Phillip Rivers 24 of 36 for 337-yards and 3-TDs.  Johnson’s long distance touchdowns along with Willie Parker’s long-distance runs – and subsequent short TDs – (see below) powered the Bullets to a big win over the Gamblers at Rebel Field in Hayneville.  The Benton Bullets have broken the “Bullet Rule” and have practically locked a spot in the BDFL expanded playoffs by notching their (lucky) 7th win of the season.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda:

Wee Willie Parker (Steelers – Bullets) had 2 TDs (22-carries, 213-yards) for 12-BDFL points.  However he had two 70-plus yard runs that ended inside the ten, so he shoulda, woulda, coulda had an LT-like 24-point day.  Parker also fell just 5-yards short of the Pittsburgh Steelers single-game rushing record held by… not Franco Harris or Jerome Bettis, but Frenchy Fuqua, circa 1970.

Quote of the week:

“I’m going get on McFarland and pull (this sumbitch) over at the first place I see that has a beer and a burger,” said Slim Dismukes 20-years-ago today.

Quote of the week II:

Also from approximately 20 years ago, “Snap the #!@$%!*& ball Mukes!” said Woo.  Inspired by these 20-year reunion-type quotes, Micheal Hewlitt Dismukes returned to Mike’s, Hootens, Carroll’s, and yes even Big Al’s (even though the game was at Silver Lakes) before hitting Black Creek Ballpark to face the floundering Wooden Warriors.  The Sloth Monsters vict’ry (moving them to 8-2) was a foregone conclusion and you could even say Mukes “hit the egg.”

Edspiration:

(Holding up chalk) I can whip anybody’s @$$ with this,” said Daddy Eddie.  Speaking of A.W.’s, the Wildcats opened up a can of ACME, industrial-strength whoopass on the unsuspecting Blades this weekend, and you should have seen the formula on the chalkboard that the BioCats used to strike at the Achilles heel of the Section 69 Sickles.  It was kind of like Russell Crowe’s (imaginary) roommate in A Beautiful Mind with the equation written in lipstick on the window overlooking the courtyard on the Ivy League campus, or not.

Plays of the week:

Romo to T.O. twice (both with the Wizards – Cowboys) for a total of 12-BDFL points provided the margin of victory for Parks over the Slovak Prince (see below).

“Out there” of the week:

Avenging last year’s 4-2 debacle, the worst game and loss in BDFL history (and enacting some slight revenge for the aforementioned and run-in-the-ground Kick-Off Cash controversy), the Wizards of Pasco County edged the Fighting Slovaks this weekend at Helena’s Joe Tucker Park.  Adam apparently believed the Peter Pan Pixie Dust could make him fly and he ended up with a big bump on his head after stadium diving off (Brother Drew’s) bunk beds.

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment as the holiday season approaches:

“It’s a Festivus for the rest of us,” Frank Costanza.

“Next we’ll move on to the feats of strength,” Frank Costanza.

Kramer: “It’s a Festivus miracle!”

Prophesy fulfilled:

Did Woo say his Woosiers would close strong?  Well, the Woo Crew pulled to .500 on the season Sunday with a lunch pail, blue-collar, performance against the Bootleggers in a pivotal Red Neck Division match-up on the banks of Turkey Creek in Hayden.  Now let’s see if Walmart stereos, nylon coaching shorts, curly hair, togs, tights, staph, boils, dating roommate’s sisters, and Greco-Roman wrestling make a comeback.

Reason #67 to be in the BDFL:

Bucket’s not. (Random shot at an outsider, although on this occasion, fully warranted.)

The Bulletin’s Favorite Bumper Stickers:

“I only do what the voices my head tell me to”

“Nuke the Whales”

“My other car is a piece of $#!& too”

“Musso 31 Sullivan & Beasley 7”

“Forget Hell”

Next week:

‘Nauts @ Bullets highlight Week 11 action.  The Bentonites (actually MethaBaptyrians) will try not only to retain the #2 seed in the BDFL playoffs, but deal a blow to the 4-6 ‘Nauts that could bring them within one game of missing the post-season party under the aforementioned “Bullet Rule.”

Quote of the

Week

"I’m going get on McFarland and pull (this sumbitch) over at the first place I see that has a beer and a burger”

Slim Dismukes

20 years ago today
 

Back Bull 2006

Back Bull 2005

2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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