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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                         2006

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The BDFL

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of Fame

From Underneath The

Rock in Media Void

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 6

“Throw it back!”

Who’s hot?

The Bullets get another 40-point week to take the “high-point-man,” and “hot-shot-cop” honors for Week Six.  Disguised as the ill-fated (weren’t all of the Magic City pro and semi-pro football teams) Birmingham Barracudas of the Canadian Football League – that’s right – the CFL, (for BDFL Throw Back Week) the Bentonites lowered a Nancy Wilson (Heart) sized boom on the Cheetahs at the recently contracted Legion Field.  Maybe the Sin Wagon will get the Cronies to get the Rickwood Field Foundation to take over the “old gray lady.” “And, if the real thing don’t do the trick.  You better think up something quick.  You’re gonna burn, burn, burn, into the wind, Barracuda.”

Who else is hot?

The Dogs (6-0) won again to remain the only “undefeated” team in the BDFL.  Mark’s Mutts put up a 30-point weekend to end any hope of the camouflaged, Catch-22, Buccaneers returning to glory in the pastel red, white, and orange uniforms of the Wizards.

Who’s not?

The Mayors and the Juggernauts both lost again, and are “winless” at 0-6 on the season.  A.A.’s Cronies were once-bitten, twice-shy by the Gamblers, who continue to feed off the good vibrations being put out by the NFL Saints (5-1).  But how many times can you successfully draw to an inside straight?  Meanwhile, the Wooden Warriors – dressed as Lee Corso’s Orlando Renegades – saddled the Nauts (who thought they had a sure win in the Joe Cribbs’ Birmingham Stallions suits, circa 1984).

The Mayors and ‘Nauts were caught doing a duet of Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhianon,” “Will you ever win, will you ever win?”

Quote of the week:

“I think Steve Cohen would say it was the Cobra Blitz!” said the Commissioner about his son Frank’s “now famous Tennessee sack,” which taken out of context could describe his Grenades clutch (is slipping) performance against Tommy T’s Woosiers.  Neil Rackers (Woosiers – Arizona Cardinals) may have missed the game winner against the Bears on Monday Night Football, but his 11-points put the Woo Crew ahead of old Iron on the scoreboard.

Quote of the week II:

“Four mediocre divisions does show great balance. It is kind of like socialism… it all evens out no matter how you slice it,” said winless Cronies Head Coach Alan Arrington.

Quote of (last) week:

Woo on the slow start of his beloved Woosiers: “From the time the draft was over, I knew the first 6 or 7 weeks were bad match-ups,” said Tommy T.  “All I have to do is stay relatively close until then and the last half of the season will be good.  If I am fortunate enough to make the playoffs, my entire team will be playing balls to the wall while the other teams are resting for the playoffs.”

Quotes of the Weak:

“If I were a two time champ, I wouldn’t worry about what to chumps do,” the Commish.

Cheetahman: “I think all trades between kin should be banned.”

Edspiration:

“Urinate on it.”  A cure-all from the green-boggin-clad coach.

Edspiration II:

“They came with the Viper blitz,” more from Steve Cohen.

Stat of the week:

LT (Powersleds – Chargers) 4 TD’s; 24 BDFL points; a “banner day at the old Barnes household, yo Johnny, smoke up.”  LT’s TD runs: 5-yards, 1-yard, 1-yard, and 5-yards.

“Out there” of the week:

The Wildcats play three players with “bye” weeks, giving the Fighting Slovaks a fighting chance, and the Euro-trash-talkers almost came up with another vict’ry.  “Yoy, yoy, yoy.”  The next thing you know Adam will be trying to muscle in on Bullet’s FBFL (Free Beer For Life) from Uncle Donald at tailgating events in T-Town.

(Really) “Out there:”

Da Bears came up with THREE defensive/special teams TDs on MNF (one over 50-yards, 24-points) to give the BioCats a Monday Night Miracle and a win over the Slovaks.  Like his homework projects in the mid-80’s, “sparks were flying.”  That’s a good thing for the James Gang.

“Out there” – Honorary Mention:

A moment of silence please:  The Bulletin has learned that the Booth is closing.  It’s a sad day for many, especially riders on the Pi Cap Caravan.

Play of the week:

Lavernious Coles (Sloth Monsters – Jets) goes 58-yards for a TD (6 BDFL points) to provide the margin of vict’ry for Mukes against L.A.’s Section 69ers.

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

Mukes may not be “master of this domain,” or “lord of the manner,” but his Three-toed Sloth Monsters got a 12-pack, and 12-points to defeat the Blades who almost brought home the “Throw Back Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” honors with a miniscule 4 points in Week Six.  However, L.A. got a few points on MNF.  He still lost to the Sloths, 12-10, but was able to avoid the Toilet Seat, which goes appropriately during the week of the “3^rd Saturday in October” to the Bootleggers of No Teeth Tennessee.  “Get off me daddy, you’re crushing my cigarettes.”

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

What caused Elaine to lose in the contest?  “Elaine Bennis Kennedy, Junior.”

Reason #1 to be in the BDFL:

Camaraderie, a fancy word for cutting up, insulting, hanging out, and doing fun stuff. 

Generation Next:

The PowerSleds – still celebrating the birth of daughter “Tori” – decided it was time to chalk up an AW, and the Bootleggers’ Big Block Dodge just happened to be the hauler to take it back to No Teeth Tennessee.  Once again, no horsepower was needed for the Woods Brothers to return north by northeast thanks to the great sucking machine located on the banks of the Tennessee River clad in ugly@$$ orange.

Next week:

Ole Rocky Top welcomes the Tide.  Enough said. “We hate the Volunteers.  Go to hell Tennessee.”

Quote of the

Week

"I think Steve Cohen would say it was the Cobra Blitz"
 

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