THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                  Week 8

Inside

The BDFL

The BDFL

Column

of Fame

Back Bull

Bull1

Bull2

Bull3

Bull4

Bull5

Bull6

Bull7

From Underneath The Rock

in Media Void

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries
By Bob Bullet

WEEK 8

Pushing the Politically Correct Envelope

Slovaks Shock the World (or Mayors)

Stop the presses.  The Slovaks scored 33 points, and earned a vict’ry over the Mayors.  Sunday was declared a national holiday in Slovakia.  Adam Slovensky was named a national hero.  The celebration raged into the wee hours of Monday morning in the capital of Bratislava with Yugos being overturned, entire packs of firecrackers being lit at once (apparently by Uncle Jimmy from a clothes line) and dancing (if you could call it that) in the streets.  Peasants from the High Tatra Mountains to the Danube River joined the party.  Some of them even wore shirts, others stood side-by-side and had letters painted across their chests that spelled out “YOY!”  Clocks across the country were NOT pushed back an hour because the Slovaks wanted an extra hour of daylight to celebrate their win over the imperial evil empire led by the sinister agent, Darth Mayor.

Note: Slovak World is calling Adam, “Dojížďák” or “the finisher.” With this description: This bendy oldster who haunts pubs and pounces on the few inches of beer left in mugs by departing patrons. But while dojíždet is a Czech word which means to finish a journey, when you want to 'chug' or 'down' a full beer in Slovak, you must say doraziť or kopnúť (to kick).  Adam said, “I kopnutted his @$$.”

Sloths Drop Cheetahs Like a Bad Habit

The Three Toed Tree Dwellers were able to hold onto just enough one-dollar bills to pay their tab, avoid the bouncers, and escape a weekend at Sammy’s with a vict’ry over the Cheetahs.  (Not to mention watch Livingston (UWA) on CSS Saturday night.  “Is that a Livingston Saturday Night?”)  Mukes may need another surgery after this one.  The Cheetahs report that even with the loss, they did report a weekend profit.  However, a portion of that money will have to pay for a long list of repairs.  The damage estimates are quite extensive and include: broken light bulbs, watermelon rinds, half-eaten and crushed aluminum cans, rusty nails, brass monkeys, empty Skoal and Copenhagen cans, and up on blocks in the parking lot, a “big white Granada with a yellow canoe tied on top.”  When asked if he parked his vehicle illegally Mukes replied, “Musta been somebody else.”

Bullets Edge Wildcats

The James Gang was warned to fire Coach Ben Dover, purchase some KY, and roll the Miller Lite Guide to Fantasy Football Drafting up as small as possible (aka Hank Stram’s Super Bowl IV program) before visiting Hayneville’s Rebel Stadium, and to become familiar with Kevin Bacon’s famous Animal House line of “Thank you sir.  May I have another?”  The suddenly Mild Cats chose not to heed that advice, and ended up walking funny, or should we say “funnier” all the way back to Rocky Ridge.  The Bullets got their third straight vict’ry and inched closer to the top spot in the rugged Red Neck Division.

Power Sleds Tackle Tribe

After a homecoming weekend in T-town where Hime had to be Grand Marshall of the Dorians Parade, ride shotgun on a big Rose Administration red tape float, speak to shareholders at Harry’s Bar, and play two positions in an alumni softball tournament, his beleaguered Black Creek Tribe could not stand up to the “Imminence Front” that descended over the intramural fields.  To the sounds of Quiet Riot, Edgar Winter, and Skull, Mad Jack’s original Power Sled came down from the overcast skies to subdue the Wooden Warriors, send them back to the reservation and hear the lamentations of their women – most of which were Sleazy DZ’s.

Dogs Bite Woo Crew

Woo and Dog also decided to play at the UA intramural fields as part of Homecoming weekend.  Tommy T. ended up missing a number of his heavy metal records, while Dog was perplexed to find a few of his Beatles albums out of their sleeves and playing backward on an ancient turn-table, (it looked like a Walmart stereo purchased with student loan money) while mysterious “X’s” appeared over the faces of John Lennon and George Harrison on Dog’s large black-and-white Beatles flag poster.  The game was scoreless for much of the early going with Woo captivated by some of the Sorority Susie’s and Super Banker mistakenly counting grass blades as dollar bills.  When the final buzzer sounded Dog had a win and Woo had a loss and both were following a couple of China Cabinets up to the Rec Center.

Bootleggers Out Race The Lawn Riders

The Woods Brothers Big Block Dodge (with Johnson County Sheriff painted on the side) ventured down from the real Copperhead Road to Alabama for a little round track race at the Shelby County Raceway. Running whiskey in the hills of Eastern Tennessee is one thing, but out running the Lawn Riders John Deere can be a little tricky proposition. The Bootleggers got a little loose early in the race and a little tight late in the race while the Weed Whackers were having trouble in the pits with their Goodyear soft tire compound and their air package. When all the rubber had settled, it was the Bootleggers who won a photo finish at the checkered flag and immerged victorious in Vict'ry Lane in a race that could have gone either way.

Grenades Gut Wizards

Speaking of coming south from Tennessee, the Johnnies once again ventured back to Sweet Home Alabama this weekend to pick a fight with the Pixie Dusters.  Pistol’s 1988, silver, Pathfinder had more than enough horsepower to outgun Merlin’s blue, 4-wheel drive, Ford Bronco.  (It’s a shame neither vehicle ever made it up “Power Hill” to make it into the Name It and Claim It Hall of Fame.)  Parks sulked after the loss that adds to what has been a horrible, just horrible and terrible, just terrible start for his woeful Wizards in 2005.  Meanwhile, the Wizards can thank the Commissioner – the schedule maker – for this loss.  Their point total would have defeated every other team in the BDFL this weekend.  Ouch, like the sticker bushes outside of Jordan-Hare Stadium.

Gamblers Defeat Juggernauts

Didn’t Kenny know that Gambling isn’t allowed in Gardendale?  Apparently not, because his “Band on the Run” took it’s “Traveling Salvation Show” down to Rocket Stadium and starting “dealing,” and rolling “7’s and 11’s.”  Good enough for an overtime vict’ry over the Jugtown Juggernauts.  The Rice Rockets (who have since moved to Charles Barkley/Neil Mitchell/Rodney Garner territory – read Leeds) has lost a lot of their early season “political power.”  In fact, with gasoline prices soaring the Honda folks may soon ask her to turn in her company car and catch one of those “Green Wave” buses to work.  And, we’re not talking about Tulane.  (Those outside of Jefferson County may not know that Leeds High School is also the Green Wave.  And, we don’t know why.)

Quote of the

Week

"Slovak World is calling Adam, “Dojížďák” or “the finisher.” With this description: This bendy oldster who haunts pubs and pounces on the few inches of beer left in mugs by departing patrons. But while dojíždet is a Czech word which means to finish a journey, when you want to 'chug' or 'down' a full beer in Slovak, you must say doraziť or kopnúť (to kick).  Adam said, “I kopnutted his @$$.”"

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL © 2005