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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

    Week 4         The BDFL from A to Z

Slovaks Lay A.W. on Gamblers – Irks Kenny & Company – Stirs “Dixie Mafia:”

The Slovaks couldn’t just put a beatdown on the Gamblers – kind of like Bama’s “lights out” performance against the Dawgs – and just walk away without talking a little trash (via email), after all, they are the EuroTrash Talkers.  In fairness to the Slovaks (unlike the Tide) they could not “act like they’d been there before,” because they haven’t – not even close.  So, now the fun begins in the BDFL as a new rivalry – that nobody saw coming – has hit the BDFL and cyberspace, blogs, and email.  May the best blogger win, because it appears the Gamblers have already won the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” for Week Four by losing to the Slovaks, 49-9.  (Don’t shoot the messenger, but that’s almost a Double-A.W.)

The Real Deal Speaks (the truth?):

Adam Slo: “So, what constitutes as A.W.?”

Kenny B: “It is when a young non-BDFL champion (NC) is considering running a little smack about an large margin early season win over a 2 time BDFL champion  (2TC), maybe not realizing that the Dixie Mafia often discussed in BDFL write ups, is alive, well and accessible to that particular 2TC,  and should said smack occur by the NC, that phone calls may or may not be made, by 2TC, to the back rooms of The Horseshoe Lounge, Mr. G's Video, and/or the corner table of the Krispy Kreme on Hwy 90, inquiring if one of the guys (picture attached only in previous email from K.B.) is available for some time in the Birmingham area for some "meetings" with young NC. Should there be anymore clarification needed about this and other BDFL terminology, feel free.”

Is this a blog or what?

“For some reason I think I hit a nerve with my AW comment.  Your picture of the so called Dixie Mafia looks more like a meeting of the Jednotas in the basement in Brookside,” replied Adam Slo.

Maybe, it reads like a blog:

Bullet: “I thought it looked old park dads D.K., Mouse, Charlie T., Russ Brasher, and Uncle Ray Fields.  (D.K. is the Hand boys dad, Mouse is Bucket’s dad, Charlie T. – Chuck Tumlin’s dad, Russ is Booger’s dad and Uncle Ray is Dog’s uncle and Paul – and Doolie’s dad.)”

Sloth Monsters – The (Reality) Series: Episode 3

In this week’s episode of “Sloth Monsters - The Series: Mukes heads back to Harry’s Bar in Tuscaloosa for a reunion of sorts.  But, it isn’t long before Harry needs him behind the bar.  So, Mukes tries to help out.  However, word gets out very quickly and Bullet, Jaimie, Rusty, Woo, Dog, Mad Jack, Albert, and Old Barry all show up at the finest establishment on Hargrove Road.  Suddenly a pitcher of beer and four ones and four quarters can be obtained in exchange for a $5 bill.  “Seems like old times.”  The second half of the episode kind of drags as Mukes has to leave the party to go play the Druid City Blitz and some new, unknown bartenders inform the rank and file that there is no more draft beer (and they are not kidding).  Meanwhile, the unprepared Sloth Monsters get narrowly defeated by the sober Gritz Blitz, and then Mukes takes everyone (except a mighty green Rusty) to the Waffle House (for grits). As for the misadventures of Mukes; tune in next week, same bat time, same bat station.

Woodies Outlast Cheetah III:

Chief Kawliga’s wooden Indians had a field day (and night) during Week Four.  The Wooden Warriors certainly got the Sin Wagon out of their element with a visit to Black Creek.  The Cheetahs were not prepared for the Fultondale Doo Doo Pumpers and the Headley’s, Hurst’s, and Elsberry’s.

Commissioner Returns to Brookside – Edges Dogs:

Chris Hand went back to his roots leaving the big Music City setting to venture to Brookside – the home of his ancestors.  The Commissioner hasn’t been to Brookside in a while and was surprised by the improvements to Five Mile Creek and the streets and the green ways.  However, when he finally crossed the railroad tracks to take on the Dogs, it looked like the same old town.  The Dogs front line consisted of LT: Booger Bass, LG: Dodie Goode, C: John Foster, RG: Darrell Kittle, RT: Dwight Slowees, and they had plenty of Dudchock’s, Pickles, and Sekura’s in the backfield.  Mark’s Mutts took an early lead, but they were not able to close the deal losing by one and sending Chris back to his Grandmother’s house for the celebratory pijotchy, ham, kiebasa, and nut roll.

Tarnishers Tame Sleds:

Mad Jack Barnes took his hard-charging, head-banging, metal-heads to Pasco County, Florida for a Head Bangers Ball, and returned to Fairfield with a very discouraging loss to the Tampa Tarnishers.  Parks' team and fans decided to copy Oregon State and have an “orange” out, with everyone wearing orange.  “I always wanted to do that at Auburn,” said the Wizard.  “But, I never got the privilege to play for Doug Barfield.”

Nauts Subdue Woo:

The Jugtown Juggernauts took the new-look Honda Pilot on a test drive this weekend up to Blount County to face the (sometimes) menacing Smoke Rise Woosiers.  The vehicle performed a little tentatively until A.E. stopped off at the local Piggly Wiggly in Warrior and loaded it up with some Special House Fried Rice. After that, with the Pilot humming like a dream, the ‘Nauts proceeded to dump the Woo Crew and leave behind some less-than-clean-burning fumes.

Monday Night Magic Times Two:

It seems it happens every week in the BDFL.  Some team gets a big boost on Monday Night Football that propels them to vict’ry.  It’s called “Monday Night Magic.” (duh!?)  Well, this week nobody got rich on MNF, but two teams got just enough to pull out crucial early-season wins in the BDFL.  A pair of games (Bullets vs. Mayors and Bootleggers vs. Wildcats) were tied after Sunday’s partial slate of action (a lot of teams had BYE WEEKS in the NFL). But, on Monday Night both the Mayors and Bootleggers picked up just enough (3-points) to break the tie and bring home a vict’ry, not to mention some vict’ry chicken.

Larry Munson (copied) line of the week: “We just stepped on their face (UGa) with a hobnailed boot.  We just crushed their face.”

Saban quote of the week: "We have a mindset to do it, to sort of play with a mental and physical toughness that the other team can't match."

Week 4: Mukes’ Miller SpotLite

Whomever is playing the Three Toed Tree Dwellers

Mukes: “If anyone’s team is struggling to score points please feel free to ask the Commish to schedule the Sloth Monsters as we are currently averaging (last two weeks) giving up 58 points a game so if you are struggling just look ahead to the game with the Monsters and you will be back on track.”

The Quote

of the Week

"The vehicle performed a little tentatively until A.E. stopped off at the local Piggly Wiggly in Warrior and loaded it up with some Special House Fried Rice. After that, with the Pilot humming like a dream, the ‘Nauts proceeded to dump the Woo Crew and leave behind some less-than-clean-burning fumes"

The BDFL from A to Z

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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blitz | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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