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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                             2007

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 2

“With my red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer,” country song – believe it or not – from the 70’s.

The Red Necks continue to roll.  All four teams from the Rugged Red Neck Division picked up vict’ries in Week Two of the BDFL season.  At the Benton Bullets’ home opener at Rebel Stadium in Hayneville, the Bullets opened up a can (actually several cans of Bud Light – that’s right – they changed brands to match the free brother-in-law beer they can now get easily up the road so people can’t tell) in route to subduing the Sloth Monsters.  Even though, he may have been day dreaming – or “having day dreams, about night things, in the middle of the afternoon,” during the draft, the 2007 Bullets have been ready to play when the whistle blows.  As for Mukes, he’s in dire need of a super duper worm pill to help him get back on track.

“Bet heavy and sleep in the street,” D.K. Hand.

The Gulf Coast Gamblers doubled-down and doubled-up as the not-so-Fighting Slovaks doubled-over this weekend.  Kenny B’s beach-front Bandits put an old-fashioned, outdoor, woodshed, A.W. on the Euro-trash talkers.  But, that’s okay as long as Adam Slo has his trusty cell-phone handy to call his spiritual astrologer to tell him what his next move should be.  Reportedly, he went to Sonic for a slushy and on to Alabama Adventure to regroup.  Oh never mind, that’s where he works, sometimes in the Alvin the Chipmunk costume.

“You got mail,” AOL automated voice.

After trading several email barbs, the Smoke Rise Woosiers edged the Tampa Tarnishers by two in Week two.  (Note: The Pasco County Wizards, formerly known as the Wizards of Greystone, will be referred to as the “Tarnishers” for the remainder of all time in the Bulletin after their 9th place overall finish last year – in a league that doesn’t reward mediocrity – and a loop hole which allowed them to make the playoffs, yet no asterisk [*] was assigned to their Tarnished Title, as it was to a previous Champion, [albeit tainted] whose only mistake was scoring the most points and winning the BDFL by the existing rules – established by the Commissioner – that “most points wins.”) By the way, as poetic justice, the Tarnishers are now 0-2 on the 2007 season and have only played one Red Neck Division team.  So, more losses are on the way.

“Red rum, red rum” The Shining, circa 1979 (Stephen King / Jack Nicholson)

Red rules the weekend, as the Bootleggers ripped the Wooden Warriors on the reservation to complete the sweep for the Red Neck Division.  The Wood Brothers completely out-classed the Fultondale Tribe, prompting life-long resident Donnie Headley to declare, “That’s no class.” Oh, in case you didn’t see the Shining, “red rum” is “murder” spelled backwards.

“Like a three hour &!#$%*,” Butch Neal commenting on the 1993 Sugar Bowl in New Orleans: Bama’s 34-13 trouncing of the Miami Hurricanes for the National Championship

The Riverchase Cheetahs may have lost top billing in the Bulletin to the sweep by the Red Neck Division (have we already mentioned that?), but they won’t take a second-fiddle to anyone during Week Two of the BDFL season.  The Felines chased the Dogs right out of Brookside on Sunday by scoring a whopping 53-points.  The A.W. was aided by Mark’s Mutts, who are horrible, and who were last seen headed for South Bend, Indiana, to commiserate with this year’s college football “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak(S)” the Notre Dame not-so-Fighting Irish.  If you are keeping score at home – and why wouldn’t you be – Notre Dame, Tennessee, and Lee County Community College all lost this weekend, all have 2 or 3 losses, prompting Butch to say, “it’s like a two week $!#$%*.”

“I want to see somebody cry,” Bobby Caviness

There is no BDFL game to go with this.  The Bulletin just thought we didn’t need to go too long into the season without this classic quote.

“The Jerome’s have it,” Nobody, there are just three Jerome’s in the BDFL – actually four if you count Jerry Seinfeld – and none of them go by “Jerome,” – Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, and Bullet.

All of the Jerome’s were winners in Week Two.  Of course, Bullet beat Mukes, but Jerry James’ Rocky Ridge Wildcats exploded on the Green Springs Grenades, and Jerry Fritz’ Druid City Blitz earned its first BDFL vict’ry by upending the Fairfield Power Sleds in the shadows of the smoke stacks from U.S. Steel and Southern Electric Steel, near the bowels of West Birmingham.

“Beyond the Road” Honda advertisement

Beyond belief: The Jugtown Juggernauts remain undefeated on the young season.  A.E. has the Rice Rockets running like a sewing machine.  The Magic City Mayors got a first-hand look at Lincoln, I-20, and the Honda Manufacturing plant in Week Two, and are now back home in line for some government cheese.

Quote of the

Week

George: “I can sense the slightest human suffering.”
Jerry: “Are you sensing anything now?”

 

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