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By Bob Bullet

Week 10

Beerfest: or a festivus for the rest of us

“We are drinking beer at noon on a Tuesday,” Sheryl Crow (All I Want to do is Have Some Fun).

The Bulletin has had a lot of “one-liners” from women this year, which can only mean that the one woman in the BDFL is on a roll.  A.E.’s Juggernauts continue to blister the boys in the BDFL in 2007.  On Sunday, the ‘Nauts took their act to Silver Lakes where they found the Sloth Monsters unwilling – or unable – to roll over and play dead.  They did what Three Toed Tree Dwellers do best, and that is hold on for dear life.  However, without plausible thumbs, that was not possible for 60-minutes, and the ‘Nauts were able to outscore Mukes and company, 42-36.  The win gives Allyson the “Top Dog of the Week” honors and practically a lock on the post-season with 8-wins and a high point total.  Needless to say, Ms. Edwards (like Sheryl Crow) is having some fun this season. “I like a good beer buzz early in the morning,” Sheryl Crow (All I Want to do is Have Some Fun).

“Gonna get a belly full of beer,” Elton John (Saturday Night’s alright for fighting).

Is that what “yoy, yoy, yoy, means; get a belly full of beer?  It certainly could be translated that way in many Slovak huddles including one in the suburban-rich Helena area where Adam Slo’s Fighting Slovaks welcomed the Fairfield Power Sleds this Sunday and managed to top the Sledheads 33-26.  The vict’ry is the 6th of the season for the Euro-Trash Talkers and gives them a realistic chance of making the dance, the BDFL post-season, that is.  As for the flickering hopes of Mad Jack’s team, formerly known as the Mean Machine, his 7th loss of the season, which means they must win out – over the next four weeks – to even have a chance at the BDCS (Big Daddy Championship Series).

“I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer,” Jim “Doors” Morrison (Roadhouse Blues).

That’s exactly what the Commissioner did on Monday, Veteran’s Day.

The Giddy Grenades were all smiles this weekend after Father Ryan’s big first-round high school playoff vict’ry on Friday night, under the lights in Memphis, Tennessee, which included an INT by lucky #13 Safety-Frank Hand.  (The number of skull-and-crossbones he received is still being tallied.)  Then on Sunday, the Grenades etched a lopsided near-AW against brother and arch rank-and-file nemesis Bullet.  If not for Brett Favre the Bullets would have scored zero.  At any rate, the eldest two Hand Brothers are now saddled with 5-and-5 records as the stretch run begins in the BDFL.

“There’s a tear in my beer,” Hank Williams Sr. (A Tear in my Beer).

There was more than just one tear in Bocephus’ beer this weekend.  The Black Creek Wooden Warriors were held to just 4-points and given a complete and total A.W. by the Rocky Ridge Wildcats.  The embarrassing loss drops Hime’s Tribe to the brink of elimination, while the James Gang continues to pace the BDFL in total points and vict’ries.  To soothe his troubled mind and spirit, Chief Kawliga apparently had Mukes & Albert lined up for some Monday Night R&R to drink their blues away. “We got the pig in the ground.  We got the beer on ice.  And all my Rowdy friends are coming over tonight,” Hank Williams Jr. “Bocephus” (All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming over Tonight) Monday Night Football theme music, “Are You Ready for Some Football.”

“One bourbon, one scotch, one beer,” George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers (One bourbon, one scotch, one beer).

“One point,” said a beleaguered Jon Wood late Sunday night.  “Well I ain’t seen my baby since the night-before-last.  I’m gonna get drunk and I’m gonna get gassed.”  The problem for the Bootleggers is they were supposed to do this ‘after’ the game… not before.  So when the Whiskey Runners showed up at the Druid City Regional Medical Center and Dr. Phillip Bobo Semi-Memorial Stadium, the Gritz Blitz was ready and waiting.  Jerome Fritz’s Druid City Blitz came with “corner fire” and the “viper” and the “cobra” all day long and took advantage of some bonehead throws by the Bootleggers QB (although the Bulletin is still checking to see if one was returned for a 100-yard TD).  When the dust settled, both teams were staring at 4-6 records and uphill battles to reach the BDCS.  Oh by the way, and needless to say, the Wood Brothers earned the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award for their 1-point performance.

“Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer,” Johnny Cash (A Boy Named Sue).

Tommy T’s patented late-season run has begun.  The Woo Crew survived a fight to the finish “Down on Main Street” in Brookside on a Saturday night at Wayne’s Place that ended in the ‘mud, the blood, and the beer.’  Fortunately the Woosiers were playing the woebegone Dogs, and 13-points were good enough for a vict’ry.  Talking about teams heading in opposite directions; the Dogs became the first team officially eliminated from the 2007 post-season with their 8th loss of the season, and the Smoke Risers in the Sky notched win number 7, which will almost certainly get them into the BDCS, especially with the Red Neck Division pedigree they carry in their back pocket, or front overalls bib pocket depending on the season, time of day, etc.

“What’ll it be Mr. Peterson?”

“You know me Woody.  I’m a gambling man,” said Norm Peterson (Cheers).  “I’ll take a mug of whatever comes out of that tap right there.”

The Gamblers, another Rugged Red Division team has all but locked up a spot in the BDFL post-season with their 8th win of the season, not to mention their top point-total within the group.  This weekend’s vict’ry for Kenny B. came at the expense of the Cheetahs, who fell to 5-and-5 on the year.  As the Sin Wagon rolled back north from the many Gulf Coast Casinos they thought of a novel concept they might could pull off over on Valleydale with the help of Milton McGregor, “dancin’ and gambling.’”

“When it’s time to relax, one beer stands clear,” Miller theme song (Miller Time).

One Mayor now stands clear in the Magic City, and his name is Lowry.  And for the first time since Mr. Dick Arrington left office, the Magic City Mayors are walking tall now behind Mr. Langford.  The confident Mayors welcomed Jeff Parks and the Tampa Tarnishers to Legion Field this Sunday and promptly pulled a page out of Russ Wood’s “Grind So Fine – Elba, Coffee County” playbook by breaking Park’s fingers or thumb on the first play of the game, and leaving all the playing time to Ron Middleton, who for some reason didn’t make the trip to Starkvegas with UA, therefore Javy Arenas couldn’t catch a punt all day, much less return one for a TD.  The win keeps “hope alive” for the Mayors while the loss moves Merlin to the brink of elimination (7-loses).

“Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away.  And I’ll be okay,” Garth Brooks (Friends in Low Places).

“I’ve given up hope for the afternoon soap and a bottle of cold brew,” (Montgomery’s) Tommy Shaw; Styx (Too Much Time on my Hands).

“Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers (heh).  Maybe I’ll remember my next 30 years,” Nashville's Ensworth High School chain gang carrier Tim McGraw (my next 30 years).

“Draw one, draw two, draw three or four pitchers of beer,” Unknown, maybe the Blues Brothers.

Jeff Foxworthy on what men are always thinking; “I’d like a beer.  And, I’d like to see something naked.”

“My favorite word is sensuous,” said Jeff Foxworthy.  “As in, since-you-was up, get me a beer.”

Quote of the

Week

"They did what Three Toed Tree Dwellers do best, and that is hold on for dear life.  However, without plausible thumbs, that was not possible for 60-minutes..."

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