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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

    Week 16 - BIG DADDY CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES (BDCS) - Round 2

Bullets Get Two Dozen on Sunday Night to Whip Woo Crew:

With the pressure heavily applied, and trailing 28-15 in the semi-finals of the Big Daddy Championship Series, the Benton Bullets went “old school” on Sunday Night and “fed the monster.” Bullerino gave the ball to his “Money Man,” over and over, and over. Carolina Panthers’ running back DeAngelo Williams responded with four rushing touchdowns, (24-points) on the road, against the defending Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. The two-dozen points gave the Bullets the winning margin. “DeAnge” brought home the “Big Daddy” award for Week 16, and the Bullets earned the “Top Dog” award for scoring the most points for the weekend, with the most “on the line.” The Benton Bullets now head to the BDFL Championship Game to face the Power Sleds. As for the Woo Crew, they will face an off-season of lament after leaving Brandon Jacobs (18-points) and the San Diego defense (12-points) off their starters’ list for the BDCS semi-finals, giving them the most famous “Bonehead” award since Scott Hunter played in an alumni A-Day game at Bryant-Denny Stadium in the mid-80s.

PowerSleds Pull Another Upset – Knock off Nauts:

Don’t look now, but the 8th-seeded Fairfield PowerSleds, who qualified for the BDCS by one point, and because Mukes didn’t have a winning record (see the Bullet Rule), are now going to the Big Daddy Bowl. Mad Jack’s unorthodox “Mean Machine” held on to a one-point vict’ry over the Jugtown Juggernauts in Week 16 to advance to the Championship Game. So, in the final game of the 2008 season, it will be a “Throw Back” title game in the BDFL between the first two champions of the league (the Sleds won the first two titles followed by the Bullets). A.E. gave it a valiant run to be the first female champion in the BDFL, but came up just a point short.

Wizards Whip Mayors:

In other basically meaningless games from the BDCS, the Number One seeded Tampa Tarnishers whipped the incarcerated Mayors by 12 and will now look forward to playing the Wildcats for fifth place. As for the Mayors they have tons of court hearings and appeals on the docket this week and are waiting for Jackie Childs to show up to defend them.

Woodies Scalped by BioCats:

After losing to Brother Bullet in the first round of the BDCS, the Wooden Warriors were sent “back to the reservation” again in Round Two by the James Gang. The Rocky Ridge Wildcats who are protecting (and enhancing) their record as the team with the Best Overall winning percentage in BDFL Hist’ry, raised that a notch or two by topping the Tribe by three. Meanwhile, Chief Kawliga’s loss, coupled with Bullet’s win puts the Bullets and Wooden Warriors in a tie atop the BDFL’s all-time vict’ries list (courtesy of the Elias Sports Bureau).

FINALS of the BDCS This Week:

(2) Bullets vs. (8) Power Sleds [Original BDFL Franchises Collide in Throw-Back Style in the Big Daddy Bowl – ironically both teams won their BDFL Championships before there was a Big Daddy Bowl.]

BIG MULLET SERIES:

“You bunch of mullets,” Mac Sanderson, circa 1974.

Sloth Monsters – The (Reality) Series: Episode 15

In this week’s episode, Mukes along with a whole host of friends and neighbors (Chris, Bullet, Jaimie, Parks, Old Barry, Albert, Valetto, Dog, Butch, Mad, Scott Allen, and Big John to name just a few) stumble into the FloraBama right in the middle of the Mullet toss weekend activities. Parks signs up for the banana-eating contest. Mukes signs up for the Mullet toss and talks Chris into it. Mukes and Chris advance to the semi-finals, then during warm-ups, Chris “crow-hops” and throws Mukes an “overly” frozen Mullet that Mukes misses. It hits his collar bone and cracks it. They have to withdraw from the contest, to visit Baldwin County Regional Hospital, and long-story-short, the Mullet Toss is won by a couple of locals coached by Snake Stabler. Tune in next week for more of the misadventures of Mukes, same bat time, same bat station.

Intriguing Toilet Bowl Match-up:

As for Mukes’ season, it goes – predictably – from bad to worse. He loses (again) to Chris and his Cool Springs Grenades, and will now face Adam Slo in the Toilet Bowl for last place in the BDFL. However, it is one of the best Toilet Bowl match-ups in recent memory, with the EuroTrash talkers (who lost to the Blitz) facing the Three Toed Tree Dwellers with the loser posed to “sit one out.”

Red Neck Redemption:

Well, the Gamblers and Bootleggers proved without a (Bobby Caviness) “shadow of a doubt” what the best division in the BDFL is, and that’s the Rugged Red Neck Division. The Gamblers and Bootleggers advanced in the BMS, while the Bullets knocked off the Woosiers in the BDCS is what’s still being called the ‘real’ championship game (kind of like Bama vs. Florida in the SEC Championship Game – unless you thing OU has a chance of beating UF). The Gamblers smoked the 2008 perennial “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” the Riverchase Cheetahs, and the Bootleggers hammered the Brookside Dogs. “Just how long is the shadow of a doubt,” said Caviness years ago.

1960’s Sitcom Song:

“Let me tell you a little story about a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin’ as some food, and up from the ground came a bubblin’ crude. Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea… well, the next thing you know old Jed’s a millionaire. The kin folks said, ‘Jed, more away from there.’ –Beverly Hillbillies theme song.

1960’s Rock Song Lyric:

“I couldn’t quote you no Dickens, Shelley, or Keats,” (Hot) Rod Stewart and Faces from Every Picture Tells a Story.

Bama Dad quote of the week:

“They ain’t working on next year,” said Curt Reamer father of Cory Reamer commenting at a wedding reception at the Southern Sportsman Hunting Lodge in Benton on Saturday night in reference to practices this week at Alabama, including a two-a-day session.

The staff of The Bulletin would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Click here for the spotlight close-up

Mukes Miller SpotLite of the week:

“Give it to DeAngelo for scoring 24-points in one game to get Bullet to the Finals,” said Mukes, “and to my Miller Lite Christmas Tree, I’ve got pictures somewhere.”

The Quote

of the Week

“Just how long is the shadow of a doubt,”       ---Bobby Caviness years ago
 

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