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Rock in Media Void Week 3

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

The Bulletin Week Three:
“Rat, a tat-tat with my baseball bat,” said Fred G. Sanford to Puerto Rican next-door neighbor Raulo.
The Dali Lama: “Sometimes when you settle for field goal attempts, you lose.”

Who’s hot?
The Hand Brothers, what a difference a week makes. The GRENADES and WOODEN WARRIORS picked up their first wins of the 2006 season, and the BULLETS put an AW on the WILDCATS in the special ‘home opener’ at Terry Leach Field at Bloch Park in Selma. The vict’ry cavalcade back to Benton took the bypass avoiding the Edmund Pettus Bridge. (The WIZARDS and POWER SLEDS ended up on the short end against the Commissioner and Chief Kawliga, respectively.)

Who else is hot?
The FIGHTING SLOVAKS. The Pi Cap Caravan rode Brian Westbrook (Eagles, 21-points) to a 2nd consecutive vict’ry, which The Bulletin believes is the first winning streak in the history of the Euro-trash talkers. The league may not hear the end of this. We are certain the MAYORS won’t, 38-33 losers to the Slovaks, although they did pick up a few free passes to the theme-park-formerly-known as VisionLand.

Who is really hot?
The SLOTH MONSTERS and DOGS are each 3-0, although they didn’t have huge point-totals in Week Three they remain the only undefeated teams in the BDFL.

Who’s not?
The JUGGERNAUTS. Forced to play a couple of players with a “bye” week because no one will apparently talk trade with the BDFL’s Lone Woman, A.E.’s ‘Nauts continue to struggle. The Jugtown Julies were treated to the old “bait-and-switch” by the shifty GAMBLERS this weekend, who successfully slipped into Rocket Stadium, and slipped away with a vict’ry.

Stat of the week:
Mark Brunnell (Mayors - Redskins) set an NFL record with 22-straight completions, and finished the day 24 of 27 for 261 yards and one TD. In other words, in the BDFL, he had 3-points. (Isn’t irony ironic?) The Mayors didn’t even start Brunnell. The Cronies went with J.P. Losman of the Buffalo Bills, who were defeated by the Jets. However, Losman had 12-points.

Quote of the week:
(With an assist from Santana, south of the border)
“I had a dream but it turned to dust. What I thought was love that must have been lust.
I was living in style, when the walls fell in and when I played my hand,
I looked like a joker, turned around fate must have woke her.
‘Cause lady luck she was waiting outside the door.
I’m winning, I’m winning, I’m winning.
I’m winning and I don't intend losing again.”
The Bulletin attributes this to Dog and Mukes. Dog’s Brookside Bowsers can thank the schedule-maker for matching them up against the WOOSIERS, who only scored a whopping 2-points this weekend. Meanwhile, Mukes’ trip (with Albert – we’re sure) to Mike’s, Carroll’s, Hooten’s, and subsequently – and ultimately – to Valleydale ended pleasantly with a defeat the defending champion CHEETAHS.

Edspiration:
“Jarvis, you are a bad @$$. Burkett, you think you’re a bad @$$,” circa 1982.

Edspiration II:
Famous Valdosta High School coach to parents who didn’t want their son cussed at, “Okay, I’ll try to stop. Just tell the little sumbitch to be at practice at 3:30 tomorrow.”

Edspiration III:
Late 1970’s Prattville High School head coach Mike Dubose to a hot-shot prospect that had transferred to PHS from Valdosta: “You ain’t from $#!&.”

Play of the week:
Keyshawn Johnson (BOOTLEGGERS – Bucs) gets a carry on a reverse for a 6-point BDFL TD that serves as the margin of vict’ry for the Woods Brothers 1-point win over the BLADES (26-25). It didn’t help the Bucs much. They dropped to 0-3 losing to the Carolina Panthers by a similar score, 26-24.

“Out there” of the week:
Not playing Jon Kasay (Blades - Panthers) cost the pencil-pushing, formerly lawn-mower pushing Pelham Blades. Yes, L.A.’s kicker – Gould – scored 13. But, Kasay had 4 FGs, including two over 50-yards for an 18-point day. He was left on the bench by the Blades, costing them 5-points and a loss to the Whiskey Runners from No Teeth, Tennessee.

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:
Driving the horse-drawn, “handsome cab” through Central Park, Kramer said to an Asian couple: “Central Park, built during the Civil War so northern troops could practice fighting… on grass.”

Reason #2 to be in the BDFL:
You have a $30 investment, ($2 riding every week) thus a better excuse to lie on the couch and watch football all Sunday afternoon.

Generation Next:
Son of Mukes, Jeremy, is playing tight end for Hillcrest of Tuscaloosa. Mukes’ other son, one-year-old Dalton is gearing up for an “all-in” arm wrestling match with fellow one-year-olds Jackson (Mad’s son) and Milton (Bullet’s youngest).

Next week:
Out-of-state Red Neck Division match-ups top the Week Four slate, where all 4-teams are separated in the standings by less than a dozen points. The Bullets, who hold a 2-point edge in the division standings travel via the great northern sucking sensation to East Tennessee to take on the banjo-playin’ Bootleggers, while the Woo Crew looks to get its groove back on the Mississippi Gulf Coast against the Gamblers. The Beau Rivage is booked solid.

Quote of the

Week

“Late 1970’s Prattville High School head coach Mike Dubose to a hot-shot prospect that had transferred to PHS from Valdosta: “You ain’t from $#!&.”
 

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