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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                         2006

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The BDFL

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 15

Round One

Who’s hot?

The Grenades: But since the BDFL doesn’t award mediocrity, the Commissioner really can’t be “hot” in the Mullet bracket, even though they scored 54-points in Week 15.

Who is really hot?

The Power Sleds, Woosiers, Bullets, and Wizards: After Round One, a quartet of former BDFL Champions are lined up to battle it out in the Final Four of the Big Daddy Championship Series.

Who is lukewarm, or would be hot if not for being in the loser’s bracket?

The Grenades: Yes, the Commissioner “clicked” this weekend and topped the 50-point barrier by giving little brother Jaimie and his wounded Wooden Warriors an @$$-whipping on the banks of the Cumberland.  Pistol’s only mistake was not being more of a “homer” and drafting more Titans, who are making a late-season, late-game heroic surge in the NFL, which has them gathering fans from as far away as Gardendale. WARTS comment: “The Commish finally rode his “Homer Pick” to something positive - sibling retribution!”

In case you missed it, the Titans “D/Special Teams” (more than just PacMan) scored three 50-plus-yard touchdowns to give old Sharped Dressed 36-BDFL points.

Who’s not?

The Juggernauts: Just what you expect in the loser’s bracket.  Held to low digits (again), the Rice Rockets were taught a lesson (about bringing a Honda to a garbage truck demolition derby) and given a whipping by the Mayors, who approached the Mullet Series out to prove something, although what that is, isn’t exactly clear to the folks at the Bulletin: “A quest to finish ninth.”

Stat of the week (other than the Titans 3 defense/special teams TDs):

Jason Elam (Broncos – Bullets) 3-FGs, 4-PATs, good for 13-points – ironically the “margin of vict’ry” for the Bullets over the Gamblers in a “no-holds-barred” match-up at Rebel Stadium in Hayneville that was bloody from the outset on Thursday night, and continued right through Monday Night Football.  The Boys from Benton win and advance in their quest to “remove the asterisk.”

Honorable mention (for a kicker):

Clutch Adam Viniteiri (Colts – Power Sleds) – see Super Bowl XXXVI and XXXVIII – comes up with 10-points on Monday Night Football to counter Peyton Manning’s 12-points, that would have given the Sloth Monsters a huge Round One upset.  However, the top-seeded Sledheads win and advance.  The PowerSleds now will match wits with the Woosiers in Round Two.

Woo are you (with apologies to Dr. Seuss):

The Prophet Woo, who knew his team was one of the few who could do what other teams only dream of doing. Tommy T. projected he’d be in a position to see if a championship was to be after week three plus three.  It was he who did foresee his Crew earning a spot in the BDCS when others did not.  The Bootleggers found out what Woo was about as they lost a first round bout where there was no doubt, in fact who new – except maybe Woo – that it would be an A.W. too.

Quote of the week:

Headline in the Bratislava Beacon:  “Dumba$$ Slovak Coach leaves Westbrook and 12-points on the bench.  Slovaks lose by 10.”  The Fighting Slovaks were the only higher seed (if you can believe that) to lose in the first round of the BDCS playoffs, when a coaching blunder left the door wide open for the Wizards.  The Pixie Dusters will take the good turn of fortune and turn their sites on the Red Neck Division champion, and second-seeded Bullets in Round Two.  Benton is already buzzing (like a chain saw).

Edspiration:

“Where is Paul Shields?” asked a reporter.  Ed said, “It’s Fields.”  I don’t think the reporter got to talk to Pablo that day.  Meanwhile, the most prolific passing duo in NFL (and BDFL) history tore apart the Cincinnati Bengals, combining for three touchdowns in a 34-16 victory Monday night, costing Paul’s cousin, Dog, a chance for a tie and a possible OT vict’ry against the Cheetahs.  Previously, the Bulletin mentioned Manning, but Marvin Harrison (Colts – Cheetahs) had 3-TD catches to roll the Sin Wagon to another win.  The 16th place Dogs are now in a position to go for the overall 16th position with potentially two more losses.

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

In honor of the Blades cutting down the Wildcats by two, Wikipedia (the free online encyclopedia) lists the following: Festivus is a nondenominational holiday featured in the sitcom “Seinfeld.”  The holiday was a plot device in an episode, which first aired on Dec. 18, 1997. Many people, influenced or inspired by “Seinfeld,” now celebrate the holiday, in varying degrees of seriousness. Some do it religiously; others do it with good tidings in their respect to Seinfeld.

   Festivus actually predates “Seinfeld” by about 2,300 years. In the 3rd century B.C., Roman comic poet Plautus (a funny sumbitch) used the Latin word ‘Festivus’ to refer to the wild celebrations attended by average citizens cutting loose on religious holidays.  Despite this early debut of Festivus, the holiday did not appear again until 1966 when the father of Daniel O’Keefe, future “Seinfeld” writer, crafted a unique family holiday with untraditional practices such as the wrestling of the household head to the ground. O'Keefe introduced the holiday into “Seinfeld” lore in ‘97, and a cult phenomenon was born. According to O'Keefe, the only tradition that was made up by the show’s writers was the decorated Festivus pole – everything else was taken directly from his family celebrations.

   According to Seinfeld, Festivus is celebrated each year on Dec. 23, but many people celebrate it other times, often in early December. Its slogan is “A Festivus for the rest of us!” An aluminum pole is generally used in lieu of a Christmas tree or other holiday decoration, shedding holiday materialism. Those attending participate in the “airing of grievances” in which each person tells each and everyone else all the ways they've disappointed them over the past year, and after a Festivus dinner, the "Feats of Strength" are performed. Traditionally, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned.

Reason #25 to be in the BDFL:

Christmas Day NFL games with BDFL-implications.

Next week:

Round Two of the BDCS pits the powerful PowerSleds against the Psychic (Cy) Woosiers, while the Wizards have to tackle the don – and only Hand/Slovensky/Gambino family BDFL-title-holder – Bullerino in the back woods of Benton.

Quote of the

Week

"Those attending participate in the “airing of grievances” in which each person tells each and everyone else all the ways they've disappointed them over the past year, and after a Festivus dinner, the "Feats of Strength" are performed. Traditionally, Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned"
 

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2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

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