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 TheBDFL.com           THE BULLETIN                                         2006

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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 12 

“Whiskey bottles, brand new cars, oak tree you’re in my way.”

Who’s hot?

The Wooden Warriors: Chief Kawliga & Company finally got to the top of the totem pole in 2006, and although it may be “too little, too late,” the Tribe is just happy to be on the part of the totem pole that is not below the ground.  L.A.’s continuing dull Blades received a first-Hand lesson on how to cut-to-the-quick albeit with tomahawks.  Unlike the Woodies, the Section 69 Sickles with a record of 5-7 and 14th or so in total BDFL points have NOT been eliminated from the playoffs.

Who’s hot too?

The Woosiers: Led by (the prophet) Woo, the Smoke Risers in the Sky continue to fulfill the words spoken – and emailed out prior to midseason – by Tommy T. himself, that the Woo Crew would be a force to be reckoned with in the second half of the season.  The mighty Power Sleds found out up-close-and-personal about the resurgent Woosiers, when Mad Jack’s Thanksgiving Thunder was derailed in Hayden.  The Woosiers vict’ry all but assures them of a playoff spot as they get to the seven-win mark and clinch a spot above .500 (the Bullet rule).

Who’s not?

The Bullets: What a difference a week makes.  The Benton Boys go from 66 to 6.  Well, almost six.  The Bullets scored only 7-points in Week Twelve and were shot down by the Mayors at the Old Gray Lady on Graymont Avenue.  Apparently, the Cronies were awaiting the Bullets with government cheese, WIC milk, and enough red tape to wrap up Bullerino for the entire Thanksgiving weekend.  “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” it is you, Bullets.

Naut this year:

The Juggernauts can officially blame the schedule maker for 2006.  A.E.’s disgruntled and disenfranchised Ladies in Arms were eliminated from the Big Daddy Football League playoffs this season, despite leading the Yellow Hammer Division in total points.  Why do you think they call it the Big Daddy Football League? It’s a tough pill to swallow (kinda like a worm pill) for the ’Nauts who battled back from an 0-5 start to reach respectability.  Their 8th loss – putting them perpetually under the confines of the Bullet rule – came at the hands of the Sloth Monsters, who know a thing or two about women, or at least women’s clothing (and worm pills).

Quote of the week:

“Guess we know who the bonehead will be this week,” said William “Butch” Neal, President and General Manager and chief cook and bottle washer for the Cheetahs.  Actually, we didn’t but we looked it up and found that Joseph (or Joe, or Jeaux) Addai (Colts – Power Sleds) scored 24 – like LT – but the Sledheads left him on the bench, thus earning the aforementioned Scott Hunter/Dan Reeves Bonehead Award.

Quote of the weak:

“Meet me at 2001,” The Bulletin attributes this one to Alan, Chris, Earl White, Wally, Giangrosso, or Gamble.  Even in the post-Disco era this quintet plus one, managed to “keep things going” in the Magic City.  Meanwhile, even though the Cheetahs couldn’t be linked to the above culprits, (those files have been sealed) running with the Byrd’s, Field’s (Doolie), Moman’s, and Otis’ and other Mt. Olivites hasn’t helped his reputation lo these many years.  However, the defending BDFL Champion remains in the running to defend his title, but just by a 5-7 thread.  Over the long holiday weekend, the Sin Wagon hosted the Gulf Coast Gamblers and when the dealing was done, Kenny B. headed back south with a few less one’s but one additional vict’ry, courtesy of Monday Night Football (see: Hasselback 10-points).  P.S.: the next reference is not about Butch.  It wasn’t fumbles, but so-called injuries and Barry Harrison that did in old #22.)

Edspiration:

Parent to Ed, “I think you ought to let my son run the ball more.”

“Just as soon as he quits fumbling the football, I will,” said Ed.

Edspiration II; think of another one:

“Get on the fence,” said Ed to Ronald “Hot Dog” Sexton.  Hot Dog responded by going over an leaning on the fence (you can’t make this stuff up).

Play of the week:

Bironas’ buzzer-beater lifts the Titans to an improbable 21-point, 4th quarter come back against the Giants.  The Bulletin is quite sure he – along with Vince Young – was one of the Commissioner’s “Pick to Click” in Week 12; too bad for the Grenades that they had no more ammunition to hurl at the Bootleggers over the weekend.  Representing yet another Red Neck Division team that will probably make the post-season, the Woods Brothers made old Iron pay for going across hell-and-half-of-Tennessee.  The Big Block Dodge was simply too much for the GDI that C.K. had to roll into and out of No Teeth Territory.  The loss drops the Commissioner below the infamous Bullet Line eliminating any Chinaman's chance he had of reaching the playoffs and marking yet another year where Mr. Hand misses a chance to win a championship in his own league (look for more changes next year in the wake of this).

Stat of the week:

L.T. (Powersleds – Chargers) only had 15-points this week, so he’s out.

Romo (Wizards – Cowboys) 22 of 29 for 306-yards and 5-TDs, that’s a Thanksgiving Day record for the Cowboys.  Romo’s “feats of strength” accounted for 15 of the Wizards 18 points in Week 12 and lifted the Pixie Dusters to the seven win mark – clinching at least a .500 season – with a vict’ry over the (previously playoff eliminated) Wildcats.

“Out there” of the week:

The Fighting Slovaks won and that’s always “out there.”  The Bulletin couldn’t print any of Adam Ray’s comments as they were undecipherable.  In Week 12 in a battle “born in Brookside,” the Slovaks outlasted the Dogs.  Most remarkable in this pairing is that neither team has been officially eliminated from the “come-as-you-are” BDFL playoff bracket of broken dreams that includes the 6-6 Dogs who are a dead last 16th in total points.  Mark’s Mutts could get into the playoffs if they finish .500 or above and 7 or less other teams fail to break across the “Bullet Line.”

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

“You’ve made a long journey from Milan to Minsk, Rochelle, Rochelle,” from the imaginary Seinfeld musical, Rochelle, Rochelle.

“Seinfeld Four” Part II:

Costanza: “My boys can swim!”

“Seinfeld” Fake Movies:

Trunnel, Death Blow, Cry Again, Sack Lunch, The Muted Heart, Rochelle-Rochelle.

Reason #19 to be in the BDFL:

“Set ups” after each vict’ry.

Next week:

Only six teams have clinched a 7-win – over the Bullet Rule – season, so watch the Cheetahs, Slovaks, Bootleggers, Blades, and Dogs deal with the pucker factor as they try to win lucky-number 7 or avoid elimination loss number eight (already eliminated with 8-or-more-losses: Juggernauts, Wildcats, Mayors, Grenades, and Wooden Warriors).

Quote of the

Week

"It’s a tough pill to swallow (kinda like a worm pill) for the ’Nauts who battled back from an 0-5 start to reach respectability.  Their 8th loss – putting them perpetually under the confines of the Bullet rule – came at the hands of the Sloth Monsters, who know a thing or two about women, or at least women’s clothing (and worm pills)"

Back Bull 2006

Back Bull 2005

2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

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