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THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE |
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TheBDFL.com THE BULLETIN Week #9 |
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Quote of the Week
"The longstanding battle between HIME and
IRON to see who was best at home run derby, softball, soccer-style
kicking, defensive back play, free throw shooting, fudge sickle eating,
PBR drinking, BABF-ing, BS-ing and pontificating, procrastinating and
prognosticating came to a head on Field Four at George Ward Park this
weekend" Back Bull
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From Underneath The Rock In Media Void By Bullet Hand The Week That Was – “Griswalds, Roadways, Reversals and More MNF Magic” Rookies Win, Part 1 Cats Go Wild, Whip Woo Crew (Rocky Ridge)—Expecting a version of “Girls Gone Wild,” this weekend, Woo instead experienced “Cats Going Wild,” as the Bio-Cats put an old-fashioned “A.W.” on the Woosiers. (Actually, an “oh, by the way” 3-points saved the Woo from an A.W. – but, it sure seemed like one.) “What an upset,” exclaimed chief biochemist and bottle-washer, J.J. “We pretty much made ‘em like it.” The Woo Crew had been cruising through the BDFL this year, and expected a leisurely stroll south on Highway 31 in their Jed Clampett Blount County Pick-up Truck. (They try to avoid I-65 if at all possible.) But, when they arrived in Rocky Ridge, the home-standing Wildcats had a surprise package waiting for them, and the package was not a 4-wide-out set, but a wild array of colors, potions, slurpees and psychedelic 3D art that confused the Country Bumpkins and led to one of the most surprising UPSETS in BDFL hist’ry.
Rookies Win, Part 2 Slovaks Slay Cheetahs (Pelham)—The Sin Wagon rolled smoothly from Riverchase across I-65 and Highway 31 into the heart of Shelby County. But, they started experiencing problems when they passed 84 Lumber. By the time, Neal’s Felines made it to Helena’s Joe Tuck Park, they were irritated, agitated and just plain uncomfortable. It seems the Slovaks outdoor grilling of Kielbasa with green, untreated hickory was putting out something that the Cheetahs were not prepared for. Or it could have been that the Felines were just not in the mood to entertain the unwashed, unshaven and misbehaving Eastern Europeans.
Dogs Edge Bullets (Brookside)—Bullerino returned to the home of his ancestors this weekend to revisit the ballpark where his 17-18 team (featuring David Foster, Jerome Jackson. Petey Meadows Jr. and Keith Crawford) managed only one win and his “Wolfman” softball team went winless. The Boys from Benton were hoping to erase the past, but they ran into the 1st Place Yellowhammering Dogs, who are trying to make the post-season. Mark’s Mutts – who are not afraid of playing dirty – in fact, that’s the only way they know to play, threw some of their best barks and bites at the visitors. Still, the Bullets had a chance to pull out an upset vict’ry, until they ran into one of the outfield power poles, which are installed INSIDE the outfield fence.
Wizards Almost Put A.W. on Sleds, But Mean Machine Rallies on Monday Night! (VisionLand)—The once-proud Power Sleds looked absolutely defenseless on Sunday against the traveling Tea & Crumpets Crowd. Merlin and his Minions had “called ahead” to reserve VisionLand all to themselves, so they wouldn’t have to deal with the Fairfield, Pleasant Grove, McCalla, West-Birmingham element. The Wizards arrived early and got the best parking spot, a.k.a. Clark Griswald at WallyWorld. However, when the Silver Spoons got inside the gates, they found some “undesirables” lurking about. “No problem,” thought Merlin, and they simply offered the Sledheads a couple of dollars to watch their Lexus’s, Mercedes, and Volvo’s as they frolicked in the park. The plan worked. The Wizards got to play all day. However, Merlin’s vehicles were gone at dusk and the Mean Machine gave the Wizards a “dose of it’s own medicine” with a Magnificent Monday Night comeback to stun the Pixie Dusters and pick up an improbable “come-from-behind” vict’ry. “Ouch,” cried Merlin.
Sloths Get Hosed by the Mayors (and Commish) (Silver Lakes)—The Son of Slim’s chances of clawing his way (with only three toes) to the top of the BDFL’s Green Horn Division are “slim and none.” And Slim spends his time in Garden Brook dog-cussing the local officials and reminiscing about trying to get Greg Green or Bucket or Mukes to “hit the egg.” Nevertheless, on any given Sunday, the Sloth Monsters can play with some fire in this league, especially, if they’ve had their U.S. Recommended daily allowance of Chips and Milk. The Cronies knew they were in trouble when they entered Silver Lakes Sunday, and spotted “Frito Lay” and “Barber’s” trucks. I guess, Slim can rest easy for – at least – this weekend, knowing his son “hit the egg.” But, “upon further review” Mukes fell victim to the “old proverbial” late (wink, wink) “call-in of starters” by the Cronies, who still have some political clout (blackmail material on Iron) to wield in the BDFL. When the “hanging chads” were counted and the provisional ballots allowed, the Mayors emerged with the vict’ry in OVERTIME. “This is unprecedented,” said Mukes, before thinking. “No, actually this has happened before. So, I guess I’ll have to start ‘greasing’ the Commish again, like the year I won the Championship.”
Whiskey Runners Boot Juggernauts (No Teeth, Tenn.)—Letting a girl into the league doesn’t look like such a great idea now. A.E.’s Bra Burners were (pardon the pun) looking for a spark this weekend, that might ignite a fire under their pink bloomers, that might lead to some inspired play, that might lead to a vict’ry in the BDFL. However, it was not to be. The ‘Nauts put up yet another “single-digit” display, earning them a defeat, “Toilet Seat Team of the Week” (again), and pushing them to 16th – and into dead last place – in the overall standings. To say the Bootleggers celebrated with a little homebrew, is like saying Stephenson was “GIDDY” after seeing the Jefferson County election results late Tuesday night.
Gamblers “Can’t Cut It” vs. Blades (Mobile)—Ladd-Peebles Stadium was decked out like it was the Delchamp’s Senior Bowl or the GMAC Mobile, Alabama Bowl, or the Alabama-Mississippi All-Star Classic this weekend. However, all of the fan fair did very little good for the reeling (not dealing) Gamblers. L.A.’s Sickle Machine marched into Ladd-Peebles Stadium and used their double-edged blades to cut down Kenny G’s team, along with the shrubbery and the red-white-and-blue bunting. “This probably ends our days of playing in Mobile,” said a dejected Mr. Breal. “I sure hope Biloxi will take us back. Serenity Now!”
Close Call in Sibling Civil War (Green Springs)--The longstanding battle between HIME and IRON to see who was best at home run derby, softball, soccer-style kicking, defensive back play, free throw shooting, fudge sickle eating, PBR drinking, BABF-ing, BS-ing and pontificating, procrastinating and prognosticating came to a head on Field Four at George Ward Park this weekend. Both sides put up a gallant fight. It was one for the ages as the Wooden Warriors and Grenades swapped jabs between the “Two Best Teams to Never Win a BDFL Championship – That Happened to Choke the Last Weekend of the Season.” Neither team was standing at the end of this epic confrontation, neither would admit defeat, it was like Rocky II. (See scoreboard for winner. The BULLETIN just can’t take sides for obvious reasons, however, from the back booth at the Deli, tom-toms could be heard in the distance.)
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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks |
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Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL© 2004 |
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