|
THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
TheBDFL.com THE BULLETIN Week #4 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Quote of the Week "However, when the Prince of Slovakia tried to duplicate this feat many years later, (this weekend) he had a funny-colored look on his face when the ‘Naut Lady of the Lake took his ball and drop-kicked him through – ironically – the very same goalposts that the King had used to rise to power… low those many years ago" Back Bull
|
From Underneath The Rock In Media Void By Bullet Hand The Bulletin – WEEK 4: “Maps & Legends and Nursery Rhymes”
Dogs Slaughter Sloths(Lake Cyrus)—This week’s “Top Dog” is the Dogs. Go figure. Mark’s Mutts ventured outside the Brookside City Limits this weekend (in clear violation of their parole). However, they took their “Lying, Cheating, and Stealing” attitude with them to Lake Cyrus to put something on the Sloths that you couldn’t get off with Ajax. The Tree-Toed Tree-Dwellers – dressed in drag, no less – were no match for the Mangy Mongrels. Following their 20-point vict’ry, the Dogs hopped aboard an Old Dominion 18-wheeler for the ride back to the friendly banks of the Five Mile Crick to contemplate what to steal next. Sources say they cleaned up on the bras, girdles and support hose they took off the unsuspecting Sloths.
Grenades Gut Gamblers(To the tune of Kenny Rogers’ “Ruby.”) “You painted up your lips, and curled your pretty hair. Johnny are you contemplating going out somewhere.” Johnny not only contemplated, he imitated a traveling “C” Class ball club and then drove a rented White Granada with a Yellow Canoe tied on top to Biloxi, Mississippi and practically wiped up the Gulf Coast with the Gamblers’ Kenny G. mop-head haircut. After four weeks, the Cockstuds look unstoppable in the Geezer Beard Division and rival coaches and GM’s are starting to hum, “Oh Johnny… don’t take your love to town.”
Mean Machine Puts A.W. on Blanks(Benton)—Is Mad Jack expecting? Is Mad Jack expecting a round of applause or a “standing O” for silencing the Bullets this weekend (and taking away his Krystals) and giving the Boys from Benton their first-ever A.W. Did Jack deliver? Did the Sledheads deliver a metal-laced 55-gallon drum of whoop@$$ in Lowndes County this weekend that shook the very columns of the Edmund Pettus Bridge, 11-miles away in Selma. Needless to say Bullet was named the “Toilet Seat Team of the Week.” Now, will it be Mad’s turn to pick a name, high on the list appear to be, “Ozzie, (of course) Edgar, Judas, Motley, Marilyn and Alice.”
Woodies Join Brother in Single Digits, Lose to Mildcats(Fultondale)—J.J.’s chemical-enhanced, high-octane, four-wide-out set only managed 11-points this weekend, but that was enough to pull out a “dramatic, come-from-behind,” upset vict’ry against the beleaguered Black Crick Tribe. Kawliga’s pitiful performance, which included four interceptions by his back-up QB, has the reservation in a state of mourning and second-guessing not seen since his monumental gag in last year’s Big Daddy Bowl. “A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y,” was the James’ Gang fake Injun taunt as they left Fultondale headed back to Vestavia Hills.
In A.W., Woo Whips Cronies(Magic City)—“Singleness of purpose,” said Woo of his team’s focus upon entering the Magic City metropolis this weekend. The Hayden Haymakers avoided the temptation of free cheese, entitlement programs, and “crazy checks,” (which they probably qualify for with their cauliflower ears) and managed to rip the Mayors a new one. Now, with a substantial lead in the Red Neck Division, the Woosiers are “geared and primed” to make their first serious run at the BDFL Championship. “If the Cheetahs can do it,” Woo said. “Then so can I.” By the way, the Pumpkin Patch in Hayden is now open and doing a throbbing, er… thriving business.
Wizards Whack Blades(Pelham)—Sickles were no match for Magic Wands this weekend, as Merlin and his band of “Lobotomy and Tights” Pixie Dusters out-witted the Blades on the North Shelby County Sod Fields. “Bipity, bopity, boo,” said Merlin on his strategy of how he disarmed the Blades and cruised to an easy vict’ry on the road. In fact, this one was over before halftime. But, the Wizards also have a strategy to “keep it down home cuz,” and not do much talking (for a change) sensing that if word gets out, or it they do the usual bragging they could be “cut down to size,” by their next opponent.
Cheetahs Pull Muscle, Lose to Leggers(Riverchase)—How the mighty have fallen. The Cheetahs got the boot this weekend from the Bootleggers in a season that looks as far removed from last year’s Fantasy Championship year as you could possibly get. The Valleydale Vixens fell victim to some sort of Leg injury (was it really a pulled muscle) and the Wood Brothers, who were psyched, upon getting to visit something more than a half-mile track during Talladega weekend, took advantage of the weakness to exploit the Cheetahs. (If that’s possible.) After allegedly partying and cursing with Junior in Victory Lane on Sunday – the Wood Brothers made the most out of their trip South – stopping by B.I.R. and Sayre before the long, hard, uphill, up-vacuum drive back to No Teeth Territory.
‘Nauts Outscore Eastern European Descendants(Jugtown)—Legend has it that a “visiting” Slovak King, robed in Purple & White once kicked his way to immortality in the friendly confines of Rocket Stadium. In the nursery rhyme, the black-headed, slightly built Slovak Monarch booted five field goals (it gets increased every few years) to lead his nation to vict’ry. This propelled the king to stardom in Sumter County (see Livingston) and later at Legion Field with a funny-colored ball. (see Vulcans, albeit no PATs with the “action point.”) However, when the Prince of Slovakia tried to duplicate this feat many years later, (this weekend) he had a funny-colored look on his face when the ‘Naut Lady of the Lake took his ball and drop-kicked him through – ironically – the very same goalposts that the King had used to rise to power… low those many years ago. Editor’s Note: To Green Horn Division: The Slovaks are not getting many “W’s” but they are picking up some decent point totals and could be a factor before their rookie season is over. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL© 2004 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
