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THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE |
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TheBDFL.com WIZARDZ WINNERZ 2004 |
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The Wizard's Quote of the Week " Meanwhile, the straw that stirs the Wizards’ drink will be mixing up one of its more fiendish potions (they’re known for their potency), so expect Allison to mimic those immortal words from Socrates on his deathbed when he uttered “I drank what?”
Past Picks |
ELVO holds on to the lead |
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The Wizard can't seem to clear the fog from the crystal ball |
The Wizard goes 4-4 in Week 4 and gains nothing LAS VEGAS - With cunning match-ups and sucker lines the Evil Las Vegas Oddsmakers (ELVO) stay two games ahead of the Wizard in the race to the POTY award.
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From The Crystal Ball
By Spaceman Spiff Blades vs. Fighting Slovaks Lyle Arrington’s “Yankee Clippers” (the Wizardo defines anything north of Pulaski, Tennessee as a “yankee”) will be at buzz-cuttin’ speed on Sunday when they face the surprising “Old Country Immigrants” in Week Five, and the Blades had better be at full saw when they get off the Cahaba Valley Road exit if they have any plans of pulling out a much needed victory in trimming the Slovaks early season surge. Unfortunately for Lyle, the Slovaks rarely shave (or shower either from what the Wizard hears) and will likely find the home team is in no need of their services. Wizard’s Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.
Bullets vs. Grenades Years after facing Chris Hand in the 1980 North-South All Star football game at the Capstone in Tuscaloosa, future Bama great Joey Jones was heard to say that the legendary Wolfback was the best “shutdown corner” he ever faced, and it appears the player that struck terror into one lil’ Joey Jones that August night at Bryant-Denney has returned to terrorize the BDFL hierarchy with a swashbuckling attack that has the rest of the league cowering in fear as the relentless Grenade assault continues to cut a wide swath through the rest of the BDFL. The next unfortunate victims for the Grenades are the “Benton In-breeds”, who are highly unlikely to put up much resistance against the invaders when the heavy armor arrives Sunday afternoon. The Wizard always says that close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades, but this Sunday close is all the Grenades will need to polish off the Bullets. Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.
Cheetahs vs. Woosiers The “Smoke Rise Gangsters of Love” welcome a fellow graybeard this weekend when Butch Neal’s “Botoxed Mattress Dancers” hop off the “Sin Wagon” desiring to show their hosts what the miracle of science truly means, BDFL-style. Unfortunately for the Cheetahs, the Wizardo says although the Woosiers are a “joker, and a smoker, as well as a midnight toker”, you won’t be able to call them a “choker” as well this weekend after they teach the visitors a few moves of their own. A lesson the Cheetahs will learn all too well on their “hayride back to hell”. Wizard’s Winner…the Woosiers.
Juggernauts vs. Wizards The “Wizards of Wor” appear primed to zap the “Leeds Law Review” on Sunday as both teams step out of their respective divisions to mix it up in a neighborly battle. Brutus quoted the Great Wizardo long ago when he said “first, let’s kill all the lawyers”, which is exactly what Merlin will seek to do when these two square off on Sunday afternoon. The ‘Nauts have been plagued with some crucial injuries this season, something that will make it difficult for them to win over the harsh BDFL jury when the verdict comes back. Meanwhile, the straw that stirs the Wizards’ drink will be mixing up one of its more fiendish potions (they’re known for their potency), so expect Allison to mimic those immortal words from Socrates on his deathbed when he uttered “I drank what?” Wizard’s Winner…the Wizards.
Wooden Warriors vs. Dogs A funny thing happened on their march to the Green Horn Division and BDFL titles this season for “Hollywood Hand” and the rest of his “cheap sunglass wearin’ starlets”, they decided to rest on their laurels, but discovered the hard way that BDFL titles are earned, not given out like so much Mardi Gras candy. Unless, of course, you count the tainted title the Bullets won several years ago. In any event, the Wooden Warriors need to get their star headed back up again and can’t afford another box office bomb like in recent weeks, which will be very difficult to do when they premier their latest film this week against Mark Burr and his “Junkyard Dogs” who have been taking a bite out of anything that moves in the BDFL so far this season. Both teams are solid and a much closer match than ELVO suspects. Something only the wiley “One” himself (please, don’t try this at home) can draw out of his crystal ball. Two “thumbs up” for Jaimie will be the end result. Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.
Sloth Monsters vs. Wildcats A championship only three years removed might as well be in the Ice Age as far as the “Slosh Monsters” are concerned after staggering to an abysmal start that has no silver lining in the clouds that continue to hover overhead, even in Week Five. Meanwhile, the “Perfumed Pussycats” have benefited from a very kind schedule maker in the early going that has them at .500 in league play and smelling like a rose, but are only averaging a foul-smelling 14 points per game. The only good thing for either in this one-star match-up is that somebody has to win. I think. However, in the end, it is a safe bet that the Sloth Monsters will out-sorry the Wildcats. Wizard’s Winner…the Wildcats.
Gambler vs. PowerSleds Kenny Breal’s Greyhound bus will be rolling at full tilt down Highway 41 when the Ramblers pull into Fairfield this weekend to derail the mysterious “Friday Night League Sluggin’ Sleds” in a showdown of a pair of two-time league champions. The PowerSleds are basically a one-trick pony whose fate rests almost entirely with the arm of Peyton Manning. As man cannot live on Gordo or bread alone, neither can he live on Manning alone” so sayeth the Wizard. So shall it be written, so shall it be done. They may be drawing straws late Sunday night to decide the victor, but look for Kenny to substitute a stacked deck in the waning sun just in time to slide an ace out from his sleeve. Wizard’s Winner…the Gamblers.
Mayors vs. Bootleggers Politics makes strange bedfellows according to the Great Wizardo (all great prognosticators refer to themselves in the 3rd person), and this Sunday will be no different when the “Whiskey-burnin’ Bubbas” from Bristol battle the “Pork Passin’ Pollsters” on top of Misty Mountain. It will likely take a scorekeeper to keep track of the number of campaign finance and “blue” laws that will like be broken over the weekend, and the score on the field is likely to be just as close when the last stump speech finally wafts away in the autumn breeze and the last bottle of imported “Pike County White Lightening” is emptied. Nevertheless, in the end it will be the big, black Dodge burning a set of tire tracks (and some whiskey, too for that matter) into the Mayors when the days votes are tallied. Wizard’s Winner…the Bootleggers. |
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The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks |
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Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL© 2004 |
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