The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the weekly mouthpiece of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any "normal" human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

30th Anniversary Season comes to a close

Vulcans Claim Their First BDFL Championship:

The North Birmingham Vulcans are on top (and we’re not talking about being atop Red Mountain as a statue). Nic Hand’s team is on the top rung of the Big Daddy Football League. The upstart Vulcans are the champions of the BDFL in only their second season in the league. This team had a great regular season and then followed that up with an improbable run to the title with a number of their best players either out with injuries or being held out by their respective NFL teams. So, the Vulcans (yes, atop Red Mountain) have replaced holding up a torch, and now are hoisting the Grand Daddy Trophy. In the Big Daddy Bowl, the “young, but naïve” Vulcans defeated the Jugtown Juggernauts in a largely “kicking contest” by the final score of 17-11. Not since the WFL’s Birmingham Vulcans in the mid 1970s staged a “kicking contest” between Ron Slovensky and Larry Csonka’s teammate (“Ronnie’s kicking against Csonka!) with the Memphis Southmen Grizzlies has the name Vulcans been so prominent in football jargon. Now, the Vulcans will be mentioned with all of the other BDFL Champions in the 30-year hist’ry of the nation’s premiere fantasy football league. The ‘Nauts put up a valiant effort, but in the end, fell a touchdown short against the Vulcans. Nic Hand, in just two short seasons, has become the first, second-generation person to win the BDFL. In fact, he’s the only second-generation person to be playing. Nic Hand also now has as many BDFL Championships (1) as his father – “Jammin’ Jaimie Hand,” and his uncle - Commissioner Iron Hand - and half as many as his Uncle Bullet (2). Celebration plans are underway for the Vulcans that reportedly will include a parade through parts of Fieldstown, Coalburg, Lewisburg, and Hooper City before ending at Legion Field.  

Bellcows Beat Bullets for Third Place:

Elsewhere in the BDFL, the Fieldstown Bellcows won the first of many so-called consolation games that determine only positions in the spring Pony Draft or final win-loss records, a little money totals, or pride factors. The Bellcows topped the Benton Bullets 19-11 in another game where kickers figured highly in the final score.  

Bandits Put A.W. on Cheetahs:

On the veritable loser’s bracket portion of the BDCS, there were a couple of A.W.’s to close out the 30th Anniversary Season in the BDFL. The Altadena Bandits opened up a can against the Southside Cheetahs as Barry beat Butch in the “Battle off Tarrant Road Bowl.”  

Sleds Dominate Dogs:

Meanwhile, the Fairfield PowerSleds opened up a 55-gallon drum of whoop-@$$ and dumped it all over the Brookside Dogs. This one was ugly early. The Dogs fell apart in the post-season as the “Brookside Dissension” reared its head kinda like one of those two-headed dogs in Clash of the Titans. (See: cheap, mythical, fantasy, fiction movies – but much better than the Golden Voyage of Sinbad.) It was an A.W. for the “Mean Machine” over “Mark’s Mutts” to close out the 30th BDFL season between two of the “Magnificent Seven,” the founding members of the Big Daddy Football League.  

Meanwhile, in the Mullet Series:

The Sloth Monsters won the BMS – Big Mullet Series – win a dominating performance over the Western Hills Wildcats. The Fultondale Freebirds flew past the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 32-15. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers shut out the Magic City Mayors, 14-0, to end a forgettable season for the Cronies. And… and the Druid City Blitz edged the Duncanville Armadillos, in Overtime.  

JrBDFL Update – “It’s all about the kids.”

The JrBDFL doesn’t play in Week 18 like a bunch of sissies. Matthew Hand (Selma Southpaws) is still basking in the glow of this first championship in the Junior League. He is also happy to have learned over the holidays that he has landed an internship with the Strength & Conditioning program at the University of Alabama with the football team.  

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