The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the weekly mouthpiece of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

The 30th Anniversary Edition

Strong I – Bellcows Keep Winning – Batter Blitz:

The Bulletin begins this week with three strong teams at or near the top of their divisions in both win-loss records and total points as the “stretch run” officially begins in the Big Daddy Football League. This trio all won games in Week 13 and look to be solid contenders to get their hands on the Grand Daddy Trophy. The Fieldstown Bellcows won again. This past weekend, the “Bell Heads” battered the Druid City Blitz, 38-17. The defending champion “Gritz Blitz” is really beginning to look like a pretender in 2024. It’s just hard to repeat in the BDFL. Meanwhile, the Bellcows continue to roll and they were just two-points away from getting an A.W. in Week 13. Belrose and his past Fultondale-Mafia are leading the Red Neck Division and look to be a serious contender as the weather gets colder and colder and the fantasy football world slithers closer to the post-season.  

Strong II – Sleds Slam Sloths:

Like 1980s WWF legend, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Mad Jack Barnes came off the top turn-buckle and slammed the Sloths 32-14 in Week 13 in the BDFL. For good measure, the Fairfield PowerSleds performed the “suflex” on Mukes and the ratings for Saturday Night Wrestling went thru the roof. It was a blowout, but not quite an A.W. – still the Sleds looked like they were in a different league than the Three Toed Tree Dwellers. The “Mean Machine” has been “well oiled” in 2024, and it looks like the top spot in the Gray Beard Division is going to be firmly in the clutches of the Sleds as the Big Daddy Championship Series get closer and closer. As for Mukes and his Sloths, the loss drops them below the .500 mark, and now they will have to battle to make it to the Big Dance and avoid the Big Mullet Series.  

Strong III – Bullets Mash Mildcats:

The Benton Bullets followed a 3-game losing streak with a 3-game winning steak. “We’re still two short of the five straight that Bama has currently won in the Iron Bowl,” said Bullet. “But, we’re getting close.” In Week 13, the Benton Bullets mashed the Mildcats 28-18. It was a close game for the first three quarters, but the Bullets pulled away in the fourth quarter to deal the “James Gang” a 28-18 defeat. The win also propels the Boys From Benton above the Mildcats in the total point category. If you are thinking the Bullets don’t really belong in the “strong” column with an overall record of 8-5, you might be right. However, the rest of the “real contenders” all lost this past Thanksgiving Weekend in the BDFL.  

Mayors Victimize Vulcans:

The Magic City Mayors taught the North Birmingham Vulcans a lesson in Week 13. Even though the Vulcans may be standing tall and rigid on Red Mountain, the Mayors reminded “young, but naïve” Nic Hand that it is the Mayors who are atop the heap and in charge of things in the Magic City. The Cronies came out “on a mission” over the long Thanksgiving Weekend, and produced one of their top performances of the season. The final score was 36-21 with the Mayors hoping this will kick start a stretch run that could possibly get them into the BDCS. The Vulcans are still in good shape for the Big Dance and hope to bounce back into the win column next week.  

Gamblers Gig Grenadiers:

Kenny Breal is also hoping for a second-half of the season comeback to get them rolling toward respectability and possibly contention for something other than the Big Mullet Series. The Gulf Coast Gamblers took advantage of their big home field advantage on the Red Neck Riveria in Week 13, as the “Real Deal” hosted the Commissioner and his entourage. It’s been a rough hear between the cyber lines for the Mineral Springs Grenadiers and there was no reprieve for Iron Hand over the holiday weekend. The Dixie Mafia gigged the Grenadiers 34-20 in a game that was never close. The loss drops the Gut Grenades to 3-10 on the season, and they stand no chance of making in to the Big Dance after being previously disqualified under the old, proverbial, and long-withstanding “Bullet Rule.”  

’Dillos Nullify ‘Nauts:

Being previously eliminated under the “Bullet Rule,” did not affect the Duncanville Armadillos in Week 13. Kurt Prewitt’s team came up with one of their best weekends of the 2024 season. The ‘Dillos nullified the ‘Nauts with outstanding outings from their offense, defense, and special teams. The scoreboard read 39-20 in favor of the ‘Dillos which was just two-points short of an A.W. – in a weekend where there were no A.W.’s in the BDFL. The loss was tough to deal with for the Jugtown Juggernauts, but Allyson was go “giddy” following the Iron Bowl on Saturday, that it was hard for her to feel bad on Sunday, or even after Monday Night Football. The ‘Nauts also remain in a good position to make the BDCS with a decent finish to the regular season.  

Bandits Edge The Dogs:

In the closest game of the Thanksgiving Weekend in the BDFL, the  edged the Altadena Bandits edged the Brookside Dogs 34-32 in a barn burning, slugfest between former roomies. The regrets belong to the Dogs and Head Coach Mark K. Burr who is now having to deal with the trauma of losing a game they really should have won. The Dogs are on the verge of drowning in the Five Mile Creek. “Mark’s Mutts” are now two games under .500, but their overall point total has them in the contenders group going into the final two weeks of the regular season in the BDFL.  

Freebirds Upset Cheetahs:

Somewhere outside Saban Field at Bryant-Denny Stadium Jaimie Hand and Butch Neal ran into each other after another victory in the Iron Bowl by the Alabama Crimson Tide. Soon, the duo realized they were matched up in the BDFL this weekend. So, they did it right. The Fultondale Freebirds and the Southside Cheetahs boarded the “Sin Wagon” and took off for Harry’s Bar in T-Town… and yada, yada, yada, they ended up on Valley Avenue in Birmingham. It was a celebration for the hist’ry books. As far as their game in the BDFL, the Freebirds pulled off the upset of the Cheetahs 31-25, but no one was complaining.  

Week 13 in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The Bulletin received just one score in the JrBDFL. The final involved fractions, which drives traditionalists in fantasy football crazy including the BDFL Commissioner, Iron Hand. In this particular game, it was closer than Georgia’s 8-overtime vict’ry over Georgia Tech. It was a match-up involving Iron Hand’s nephew and niece. Milton Hand and his Lowndes County Labs defeated Meredith Hand’s Benton Butterflies. The final score was 126.76 to 126.44. Nuff said.

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