The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the weekly mouthpiece of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

The 30th Anniversary Edition

A.W. #1 – Mean Machine Mauls Mayors:

Things continue to go from bad to worse for the Magic City Mayors in the Big Daddy Football League in 2024. In Week 11 action, the Cronies were destroyed by the Fairfield PowerSleds. The “Mean Machine” absolutely mauled the Mayors down in the shadows of Southern Electric Steel in Fairfield. This one was over early. “Mad Jack’s” team came out of the tunnel with a mission and didn’t turn the volume down in this metal meltdown of the Mayors until the score reached beyond A.W. status (51-15) and the Cronies’ ears were bleeding. The vict’ry and the point total helped the Sleds keep control at the top of the Gray Beard Division, and upped their overall record to 8-3. The loss drops the Mayors to 4-7, and in danger of missing the Big Daddy Championship Series at the conclusion of the regular season.  

A.W. #2 - Cheetahs Bash Bandits:

The Southside Cheetahs were pretty pleased with the outcome of both college and pro games this past weekend. Old Butch watched his beloved Crimson Tide defeat Mercer 52-7 at Saban Field at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, then opened up a can of “whoop-@$$” against the Altadena Bandits. The final score was 47-19 which garners the “Sin Wagon” an A.W. over the over-matched Black Trans Am’s driven – in this case – into the shop for repairs by Old Barry. These two teams each grew up in South Gardendale just off Tarrant Road, taking crap from the Scroggin’s and Leopard’s, but generally working well together, until being matched in BDFL action. The win was also big for the Cheetahs as they are trying to keep pace with the red-hot PowerSleds. As for the Bandits, they’ll drop below .500 with the loss and they’ll now face an up-hill battle to make it into the BDCS. At last report, B.K.S. (Barry Kenneth Stephenson) was headed toward B.K. (Burger King) to get a burger, and some fries, and mini onion rings, and then onto Big Al’s to apparently try and re-group.  

A.W. # 3 (almost) – Bullets Dominate ‘Dillos:

Only a late, “oh-by-the-way” extra point during Monday Night Football kept the outcome between the Bullets and Armadillos from being an official A.W. The Bentonites beat the Duncanville Armadillos 33-13 (one point short of an official A.W.) in a blowout game between two division opponents in the Red Neck Division. It was a huge win for the Bullerino, who had watched his team race out to a 5-2 record this season, before going on a 3-game losing streak. The Benton Boys hope this vict’ry will get them back on track as a serious contender for the Grand Daddy Trophy in this the 30th Anniversary Season of the BDFL. As for K.P. & Company, the defeat drops the ‘Dillos to 2-9 on the season and just one loss short of being eliminated from the BDCS under the “Bullet Rule.”  

A.W. # 4 (nearly) – Dogs Catch Cats:

The Brookside Dogs caught and killed the Western Hills Wildcats in Week 11. It was nearly an A.W., as the Dogs won by 19-points (30-11). However, even though “Mark’s Mutts” didn’t get that official distinction after the game, the Dogs did keep hold of the top spot in the standings in the Yellow Hammer Division. More importantly (maybe), is that the Dogs moved up to 5-6 on the season and into the category of a potential contender for a spot in the “big dance” at the end of the regular season. The Mildcats fall to the same mark of 5-6 in the win-loss column, but now the “James Gang,” will face an increased pucker factor and a fear of having to spend the holidays in the Big Mullet Series. In the good news category, the Wildcats did win the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.  

Freebirds Win Father-Son Showdown:

“Father knows best,” was illustrated in Week 11 in the BDFL as the Fultondale Freebirds vanquished the Vulcans 37-28. The father – Jammin’ Jaimie Hand – defeated the son – Nic Hand – in what turned out to be a pretty good game this past weekend. The Freebirds were pleased with the win, but didn’t want to brag, and the leader of the North Birmingham Vulcans was off as soon as the final whistle sounded to attend another wedding in another state. The Freebirds may be at the bottom of the standings in the Green Horn Division in total points, but in the win-loss column the F’birds are dead even with the division-leading Vulcans. Both teams stand at 8-3 on the season and are determined to chase the Grand Daddy Trophy right to the very, very end of the season.  

Commish Slips to Brink of Elimination in Bowing to daBlitz:

The Mineral Springs Grenadiers are now at the precipice of the cliff. Just one more loss for the Commissioner’s team will put them below the “Bullet Rule,” and they’ll be eliminated from the BDCS. In Week 11, the Gut Grenades didn’t play that bad, but they still lost to fall to 2-9 on the season. The defending BDFL champions – the Druid City Blitz – delivered the defeat to Iron Hand by the final score of 30-22. Fritz’s Gritz Blitz started the season with a bunch of losses, but they have since righted the ship and still have a decent chance to defend their title in the “big dance.” daBlitz’s victory this past week improves their record to 5-6, and they just might be able to make it to the correct post-season tournament.  

Sloths Slip Past Gamblers:

Another team that improved to 5-6 was the Sloth Monsters. Mukes’ team improved by one game in the standings by knocking off the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 25-20, in a close game in Week 11. The Sloths also covered the spread (1.5) in the process, which really filled the pockets for the “Son of Slim,” and crushed the Dixie Mafia… all at the same time. The Real Deal’s team is now in full panic mode at 4-7, and trying to get a pep talk from Brett Favre to get his team turned around before it is too late.    

In Extra Time – Belrose Nips ‘Nauts:

Both Allyson and Belrose ventured down to Section L at Saban Field at Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday in advance of their Sunday Showdown in the BDFL. Apparently, their game plans leaked out and each team kind of knew what to expect in their Week 11. It was a back-and-forth contest for “more” than four quarters between the Fieldstown Bellcows and the Jugtown Juggernauts. When regulation time ended, the ‘Nauts and the “Bell Heads” were locked in a 25-25 tie, and deadlocks are not permitted in the BDFL. So, under the Commissioner’s extensive tie-breaker procedures the overtime vict’ry was awarded to the Bellcows.  

Week 11 in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

Reports coming in from the Junior League are that Hayden Roberts had one of the first – if not – “the first” 200-point weekend in the JrBDFL. Check it out if you have access to their hidden page in the cyber world of ESPN.

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