The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the weekly mouthpiece of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

The 30th Anniversary Edition

Magnificent Seven – Tribute to the BDFL’s 7-remaining original owners:

Alan Arrington, Jack Barnes, Mark Burr, Chris Hand, Bullet, Jaimie Hand, and Butch Neal.

 A tribute to 30-years of fantasy football that is the Big Daddy Football League. “Long live the BDFL.”  

Week Seven Quote: Upon breaking a mirror, *Papa said, “Oh $#!&, another seven years of bad luck.” *Papa: Donald Kenneth Hand (father of Chris, Jerome, and Jaimie).  

The Bulletin Highlights Songs with Sevens:

(Papa’s favorite band – The Eagles) Seven Bridges Road:

There are stars in the southern sky. Southward as you go. There is moonlight and moss in the trees, down the seven bridges road. [Papa’s favorite number is also “7.”]  

Commish Creeps Past Cronies:

The Mayors and Grenadiers are guided by members of the Magnificent Seven. Every game matching Alan and Chris is like a walk through the time machine. It seems to kickoff with appetizers at the Irish Deli. Then shortly after that they are either in Southside or at 2001. The pair could literally be anywhere in metro Birmingham by halftime, and then in the second half you’ll find them at Louie Louie’s. If the game happens to go into overtime, you better check The Nick, or the Upside Down Plaza. It’s a winning formula. But, when the Cronies and the Commissioner match-up against each other there has to be a winner and a loser. In Week Seven in the BDFL, that honor went to the Commish, who’s Grenadiers were just a little better than the Magic City Mayors. FYI: It was the first win of the season for Iron Hand.  

Bullets Dominate Dogs:

The Benton Bullets are having a pretty good fantasy football season in 2024. The Brookside Dogs are experiencing a rough ride thus far in the 2024 BDFL campaign. Those two trends continued in Week Seven. The old Bullerino almost hit the 30-point mark this past weekend as the Benton Boys from the Black Belt got consistent scoring from their QB, RBs, and receivers. And, even though the Bullets played the wrong kicker (Koo/ATL-2 vs. Reichard/MIN-14) it did not cost them a “W.” The Bullets still dominated the Dogs and came up with a big vict’ry “on the road” on the “other side of the tracks,” at Brookside Ballpark on the banks of the Five Mile Creek. The loss drops “Mark’s Mutts” to 2-5 on the season with their “pucker factor” of missing the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) in serious jeopardy. FYI: Both the Bullets and the Dogs are proud members of the Magnificent Seven.  

Seventh Son (Johnny Rivers):

“I could talk these words, that would sound so sweet, they would even make your little heart, skip a beat. Heal the sick, raise the dead, make the little girls talk outta their heads. I’m the one. I’m the one, yes baby I’m the one, the one they call the Seventh Son.”  

Sleds and Wildcats Reunite:

A mystery always surrounded the place that Jack Barnes and Jerry James rented and lived in for years in Tuscaloosa as roommates and students at the University of Alabama. Did anyone else actually ever see it? Was it just off campus or in some distant neighborhood? And, was it haunted? The pair of Fairfield High School graduates played out a mysterious existence. Apparently, Jerry was very good on the Bricks/Dorians flag football team, but would vanish if he had a chemistry lab. Mad Jack was Mad Jack… appearing “out of nowhere” with a six-pack of Stroh’s at Apartment 21 at Bates Manor claiming he had to get away from Jerry and his homework, “where atoms were being split.” The pair of ex-roomies reunited in Week Seven in the BDFL, and this game was a bit of a mystery too, with the PowerSleds going to the air and the Western Hills Wildcats turning to the running game. At press time, the game was still in progress in cyberspace and undergoing the Commissioner’s seven-layer, overtime tiebreaker… check the website (schedule button) for the final results. FYI: Jack is in the Magnificent Seven – Jerry is not.  

Seven Wonders (Fleetwood Mac):

If I live to see the seven wonders, I'll make a path to the rainbow's end. I'll never live to match the beauty again. The rainbow's edge.”  

Freebirds Ineffectively Break Out Viper and Cobra vs. Blitz:

Jammin’ Jaimie Hand broke out the familiar “turn it around and use it against ‘em,” mantra in Week Seven action in the BDFL. The Freebirds showed every kind of extra pass rush – i.e. “blitz” – against the Druid City Blitz this past weekend on the back fields at Black Creek Ballpark. The F’birds came with the viper, cobra, corner fire, and the all-out 11-man-front to try and earn a clutch win against Jerry Fritz and his defending champion “Gritz Blitz.” At first, the plan didn’t work too well, as daBlitz slid protection and refused to be beaten at their own game, and by their namesake nickname. All that didn’t stop the Freebirds from “bringing the heat.” But, daBlitz did just enough to pick up all the stunts and emerge with a key vict’ry. FYI: Jaimie is in the Magnificent Seven, and Fritz is not.  

Seven Year Ache (Rosanne Cash – Johnny’s daughter)

“Tell me you're trying to cure a seven-year ache. See what else your old heart can take. Boys say, When is he gonna give us some room. The girls say, I hope he comes back soon.”  

Vulcans Score More Than 50 – Put A.W. on ‘Dillos:

The North Birmingham Vulcans are proving that their run to the Big Daddy Bowl last year was not a fluke. The “young, but naïve” team led by Nic Hand is firing on all cylinders and they pounded the Duncanville Armadillos in Week Seven. It was a massive A.W. (almost a Double-A.W.) as the Vulcans “torched” the ‘Dillos, 51-10. To say the Vulcans are “standing tall” would not be an over-estimation. They are not only towering over Red Mountain, but also have complete and total control over the Green Horn Division. The ‘Dillos are in a world of hurt and are proud owners of Week Seven’s “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.  

Clint Black – A Good Run of Bad Luck:

“Seven come eleven, and she could be mine. Luck be a lady, and I’m gonna find love coming on the bottom line. I’ll bet it all on a good run of bad luck.”  

Gamblers Lose to One Armed Bandits:

The Altadena Bandits captured the runner-up spot in the Week Seven total points category with an impressive 42-points against the Gulf Coast Gamblers, who could only manage 27 for the week. This one started out close, but Old Barry just gained more and more momentum as the games rolled along, and by the backstretch and Turns Four and Five… the Bandits were pulling away to a big win moving their record to 4-3 on the season, with the Dixie Mafia’s overall mark dropping to the same 4-3 in the standings. The “Real Deal” hates losing at home. So, following the embarrassing loss all of the dealers, tellers, and wheel-of-fortune spinners were called into a “closed door” meeting where apparently there was some crying and gnashing of teeth.  

Bellcows Belt Sloths:

The Bellcows moved to 5-2 on the season with a solid win over the Sloth Monsters. The final score was 34-29 with Mukes suffering another loss to drop the Sloths record to 2-5. You could say these two teams seem to be going in opposite directions, and that would be a fair assessment. Speaking of the fair, the Bellcows seem to be in line for one of those top notch, Blue Ribbons, for their performance in the first half of the season. Meanwhile, Mukes isn’t so sure what accolades or assessments will be made of his Three Toed Tree Dwellers after Week Seven action in the BDFL, but the “Son of Slim,” said he would receive the reviews from the “Miller Tent,” just outside the racetrack at B.I.R.

Seven Mary Three – Cumbersome:

“Too heavy, too light… too black or too white… too wrong or too right, day into night, cumbersone. Too rich, too poor… she’s wanted me less, and I’ve wanted her more, the bitter taste is cumbersome.”  

‘Nauts Stand up to Cheetahs:

The BDFL doesn’t not have an English secret agent. The league doesn’t have a Double-Oh-Seven. Neither is there a fake, comedic Austin Powers, international man of mystery, within the rank-n-file of the BDFL. The league does have the Cheetah Man and the ‘Nauts. Their game was probably the most hotly contested in Week Seven (or maybe it was the mysterious O.T. game between the Sleds and Wildcats). At any rate, the Southside Cheetahs and Jugtown Juggernauts battled it out “tooth-and-nail,” in this particular game. The Sin Wagon was rolling early, but began to stall in the second half and especially the 4th quarter, and the ‘Nauts finished strong to take the vict’ry by a narrow 003 points. The outcome separated the teams in what could be the wildcard race toward the end of the season, with the ‘Nauts moving to 4-3, and the Cheetahs falling to 3-4. FYI: Butch is in the Magnificent Seven and A.E. is not.   

Honorable Mention for Week Seven:

007 – Bond, James Bond. The old, double-naut, British spy has a longer run going than the BDFL. Seven Spanish Angels – Willie Nelson  

Week Seven in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The Bulletin didn’t receive much information from the cyber world of the Junior League this week. The Bulletin – therefore – can only report that the last member of the BDFL or the JrBDFL to actively play in a organized, tackle football game with pads and all was Milton Hand – who wore number seven (and that was last year).

W1TB  W2TB  W3TB  W4TB  W5TB  W6TB  W7TB  W8TB  W9TB  W10TB  W11TB  W12TB  W13TB  W14TB  W15TB  W16TB  W17TB  W18TB