The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the weekly mouthpiece of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

The 30th Anniversary Edition

Metro Flashback:

The "Little League" football that many of the BDFLers played in as kids was called Metro. It encompassed Metro Birmingham with the schedule being contained to mostly teams on the north side of the city. The games were played almost exclusively on Saturday mornings. In fact, on some Saturday’s, you could finished Metro games, and make it to Legion Field for kickoff of an Alabama game (especially for the Hand kids when Bama played someone like Duke, Southern Miss, TCU, or Vandy). Gardendale started playing Metro games at the high school stadium in the late 1960s before building their own rec field at Moncrief Park in North Gardendale in the 1970s.  

The North Jefferson News Covers the Metro League – 50 Years Ago:

The Bulletin has found some classic game summaries in the North Jefferson News from 1974. Not surprisingly, the excerpts include a number of BDFL participants from Five Decades Ago. (Note: some of the opponents and game details have been structured to fit the weekly narrative of the BDFL.)   110 Pounders Roll to Vict’ry: Butch Neal ran for three touchdowns and more than 100 yards as the 110 pound Metro Gardendale Rockets dominated the Hayden Yellowjackets by the final score of 42-6. It was the 7th straight vict’ry for Head Coach Bill Whitlock’s team. Neal – wearing number 22 – also starred on defense for the Rockets with a number of tackles and two fumble recoveries.  

Gardendale’s 100 Pound Team Pounds Hillview:

The Metro Rockets 100 Pound team continued their unbeaten and un-scored upon streak. Head Coach Bill Fortner has guided this team to an undefeated season thus far and the team has not given up a single point through seven games. The 100 Pounders are a solid favorite to advance to their third straight Shug Bear Bowl at the end of the season at Birmingham’s Legion Field. This past Saturday morning, the 100 Pounders slaughtered Hillview, 48-0. It was never close. “Pistol” - Chris Hand scored an offensive and defensive touchdown for the Rockets in the route. He also threw a touchdown pass to Andy Moore. The defense was led by Darrell Guthrie, Jerry Benson, and Brad McCoy. After the game, Hand introduced his teammates to a new thirst-quenching drink in glass, Stokely bottles, developed at the University of Florida, temporarily named, Gator Aid.

90 Pound “Little Rockets” defeat Warrior:

Max Sanderson’s 90-Pound “Little Rockets” Metro team won again on Saturday morning to remain undefeated to set up a showdown next week against Central Park. Wishbone tailback Barry Absher ran for two touchdowns to pace the Rockets to vict’ry over the Warrior Indians. Absher was able to run wild against the Indians behind an offensive line of Greg Price, Gary Culp, Center Bruce Graham, Curt Jarvis, and Barry Stephenson. Quarterback Drum Hand efficiently ran the wishbone with no turnovers and completed his only pass on a tight end dump to Chuck Tumlin. The defense also came to play with Dennis Jacks leading the team in tackles and Tim Haynes recovering a fumble. “Old Chalk Dust play well,” said Max Sanderson of his quarterback Drum Hand.  

Gardendale 80 Pounders Rout Adamsville:

The “Little Rockets” 80 Pound team defeated Adamsville 35-6 on Saturday morning at Moncrief Park. Jamie Hand led five different players that scored five touchdowns for Gardendale. The other players to score were Junior Witt, Jeff Parks, Itch Williams, and Bo Trammell. The defense was stout behind Tommy Kinney, Gerald Deason, and Mike Burkett. Coaches Bobby Williams and Mouse Burkett were pleased with their team’s performance as they improved to 7-0 on the season and clinched a spot in the Shug Bear Bowl.  

The North Jefferson News reports on Fultondale Metro Football:

After a rough start to the 1974 season, the Fultondale Wildcats 90 Pound team picked up its first win of the season. The “Little Wildcats” scored late to defeat Adamsville 6-0. Jeff Headley reached the end zone in the 4th quarter for the only touchdown of the game. David Belrose was the head-hunter for the Fultondale defense, but he got some help from his teammates in the shut out as Frank Horton, Mark Meadows, Greg Rovi, and Dale Hurst also had good games.  

Elsewhere, in Metro Action:

Central Park won again Saturday morning in all of their games against Wyhomma. Greg Blackman led the 90 pounders and his brother Danny Blackman paced the 70 pounders, and Mike Dismukes had a great game in leading Central Park’s 80 Pounders in their LA Rams-like blue and yellow uniforms to vict’ry.  

From the Duncanville (Texas) Suburban:

In little league football news from this past Saturday, Curt Pruitt scored 7 touchdowns, wearing number 7, as the Duncanville Lil Panthers 10-year-old team moved to 7-0. Five of Pruitt’s TD runs were over 50 yards.  

The Bulletin’s mea culpa: Apologies from The Bulletin to the remainder of the BDFL’s rank and file. We’re quite sure Jerry James ran wild in Fairfield, and Jack Barnes knocked the crap out of kids from Ensley in the Green Bay Packers uniforms, but playing in street shoes. Kenny Breal was probably the real deal on the Gulf Coast and Jerry Fritz blitzed ‘em where he played.  

Bullets Come Back – Beat Cheetahs:

The Benton Bullets pulled off an improbable comeback rallying with 24-points on Sunday Night Football to defeat the Southside Cheetahs “on the road,” in Week 12 in the Big Daddy Football League. The “Sin Wagon” rolled to an early lead in this game, but ultimately could not hold the margin against the resurgent Bullets. Both of these teams are firmly in the “contender” category to reach the Big Daddy Championship Series with overall records now of 7-5, and point totals that place both the Cheetahs and the Bullets in the top half of the standings.  

Sleds Slaughter ‘Dillos:

Near the top of the overall standings this season are the Fairfield PowerSleds. The “Mean Machine” has been rolling in 2024, and will almost certainly be in the “Big Dance” when the calendar flips to 2025. In Week 12, it was the “haves” (Sleds) hammering the “have nots” (Armadillos). The Duncanville Armadillos have had a terrible year. That is putting it mildly. From K.P.’s zoom draft until the Thanksgiving Holiday, the ‘Dillos BDFL season has not been even respectable. They have long since been eliminated from the BDCS under the “Bullet Rule.” This week’s loss to the Sleds drops the ‘Dillos to 2-10. Meanwhile, the “Sled Heads” are flying high and feeling mean, and are now a BDFL-best 9-3 on the season, as the “Mean Machine” is roaring loud and proud. The Armadillos did manage to capture the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award.  

Bellcows Dispatch Dogs:

The Fieldstown Bellcows are also 9-3 and grazing to win after win in the BDFL this season. The Brookside Dogs have a decent point total but are starting to stack losses and are now 5-7 in 2024 and “Mark’s Mutts” appear to be “slip sliding away.” These two teams got to this point going into the Thanksgiving Holiday week with the “Bell Heads” dispatching the Dogs in Week 12 in a game that wasn’t that close. Belrose was stressed early in the season with the performance of his team, but the Bellcows have rallied in the second half of the season and are in position to make the “Big Dance,” and chase a championship. The former Super Banker turned Rubber Maker Tycoon desperately needs to turn his season around, and step on is to return to Brookside, cross the crooked bridge and railroad tracks, and enjoy a big Thanksgiving dinner just past the centerfield fence at Brookside Ballpark, less than a mile from the old elementary school that his 10-12 year-old friends burned down 50 years ago (maybe because Brookside did not have a Metro Team – typically the kids there splintered to Graysville, Hillview, Adamsville, or the rival league’s Park West.)  

Freebirds Blow It in Brother Bowl:

The Bulletin has found a rash of 9-3 teams in the BDFL standings on the award-winning, www.thebdfl.com website. The Fultondale Freebirds – however - are not there after a Week 12 choke job. The Freebirds lost the latest edition of the “brother bowl,” as they were defeated by the Mineral Springs Grenadiers. The Commissioner’s team has previously been eliminated from the BDCS under the “Bullet Rule,” named for the “other” Hand brother. The team formerly known as the Hand Grenades played for pride this past weekend and manhandled the F’birds in a big upset.  

Vulcans Jolted By Juggernauts:

The North Birmingham Vulcans - like their ancient ancestors – from 1974 (and ’75)* - and namesakes in the old World Football League – have done what the old Americans and Vulcans did. That’s join a league and just win, win, win. [*Note; that’s 50 years ago] Nic Hand’s team made it all the way to the title game last season, and this year the Cast Iron Statues are having a goo season. But, don’t tell that to the Jugtown Juggernauts. In Week 12, the ‘Nauts played inspired football and upset the Vulcans 21-20, in a game that wasn’t decided until the final possession. The Vulcans remain in the top portion of the standings and will probably be able to stay there until the regular season ends, but A.E.’s ’Nauts are now 7-5 on the season and firmly on the bubble between the Big Dance and the Big Mullet Series… and feeling like Lloyd Christmas, “so… you’re telling me there’s a chance.”  

Sloths Slip Past Cronies:

It is hard to draw any real, constructive conclusions from the pregame, contest, and outcome of the match-up in Week 12 between the Sloth Monsters and the Magic City Mayors. Cordial is a word that comes to mind that has really no role in a football game. But, with the difficult seasons that Mukes and Alan have had thus far in 2024 in the BDFL, the teams were just looking for something positive to happen at Legion Field on Sunday afternoon. Both teams were late for the start of the game after over-staying their welcome at the Tide and Tiger across the street from the stadium. The game itself - under-whelmed - but, the Sloths were able to slip past the Cronies down the stretch and get the vict’ry at the Old Gray Lady.  

Blitz and Bandits Battle Before A.W. Emerges:

The Defending Champion Druid City Blitz had four quarters of arm-grabbing, tiddy-bumping, and lollygagging this past weekend in the BDFL. The Blitz was white-washed by the Altadena Bandits as a result. Every game matters in the Big Daddy Football League, and games kind of grow in importance as the stretch run approaches. Both the Gritz Blitz and the Bandits entered the weekend with identical records of 5-6, with only one team actually being able to shake the cobwebs and pull to 6-6 and to .500 on the season. And, as it turns out, that team was Bandits, who dug deep, went to the well, and pulled out maybe their best performance of the season, in what turned out to be a 42-18 A.W. over daBlitz – who’s chances of repeating took a big hit in Week 12.  

James Gang and Dixie Mafia Duel and Deal on Gulf Coast:

The Western Hills Wildcats traveled down to the Redneck Rivera in Week 12 to take on the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Both teams entered the game with losing records and with dim post-season hopes, but also with the “long shot” gambling chance that they could turn things around. The game was kind of like the Gulf of Mexico itself with waves ebbing and flowing to and fro. When the final whistle sounded it was the Wildcats who had the most points and the win.  

Week 12 in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The Bulletin reports that it will be a Happy Thanksgiving in Benton this week. At least until the slate of NFL games begins on Thursday to kick-start Week 13 in the NFL, BDFL, and JrBDFL. But going back to Week 12 in the Junior League… the Benton Butterflies, Selma Southpaws, and Lowndes County Labs all brought home vict’ries. The Butterflies (Meredith) fluttered past their opponent in a close one, 154-144. The Southpaws (Matthew) knocked off the first place team coached by his roommate (Hayden), and Milton’s team – the Labs – remained in first place in the “other division,” with a blowout victory against the Ironlegs (Wade). “It’s all about the kids,” is more than a motto or quote. It is a lifestyle and a manifesto for those sons and daughters of BDFLers, it is just played on the world wide web in a cold, computer, matrix-type atmosphere. But, the kids seem to like it.

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