Juggernauts Eliminated as Bullets Win Thriller:

The Benton Bullets did it again. The Bullets advanced to the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) with a thrilling, improbable, come-from-behind, 27-23, vict’ry over the Jugtown Juggernauts. It happened in the last week of the regular season, and it helped Bullet circumvent the “Bullet Rule,” for the second straight year. The Benton Bullets got into the BDCS last year with a losing record, when not-enough teams qualified. A tumultuous off-season led to a “revised” Bullet Rule, and Bullet slipped in this season by getting their record to 7-8 with a clutch win. As for the ‘Nauts, Allyson’s team was dropped from contention for one of the eight BDCS by not finishing in the Top 8 in overall points, the loss to Bullet was immaterial in the long run, still it was a stinging defeat, and a deflating loss for the ‘Nauts. Now, the Bullets will try to get above .500 in the playoff and claim their third BDFL Championship. NOTE: See the anatomy of a clutch win below at bottom.  

Dogs fall to Felines – Miss out on BDCS:

The Brookside Dogs were undefeated around mid-season, and now “Mark’s Mutts” are not even going to the Big Dance. The Dogs hit a losing skid and could not avoid “skid row,” landing in the Big Mullet Series (BMS). The sad part is that skid row is a lot like Main Street in Brookside, and the former Super Banker may not know the difference. In Week 15, the Dogs lost to the Southside Cheetahs in a relatively non-competitive game. The Cheetahs are in the BDCS and may be a force to be dealt with by the other teams looking for a BDFL Championship.  

Bellcows edge Vulcans:

 As the Dogs slid down the totem pole in the late season, the Fieldstown Bellcows ascended like a flying Phoenix. David Belrose’s team rose from the ashes and made it to the BDCS. In the last week of the regular season, the Bellcows picked up another vict’ry by defeating the North Birmingham Vulcans, 19-17. The rookie Vulcans lost the game, failing against Belrose by two, but passing the test and finishing in the Top Eight in the BDFL. Now, the “young, but naïve” Vulcans will try to prove their metal in the Big Dance, amid distractions of the Holidays and a trip to Pasadena, California. Please stay tuned to see how the first, second-generation BDFLer performs in his first BDCS.  

Mayors prove power – Outscore Wildcats in shootout:

The Magic City Mayors kept scoring and scoring this past weekend and ended up defeating the Western Hills Wildcats by one, 37-36. The Mayors are the defending, back-to-back, BDFL Champions, and they have served notice all season that they intend to defend their titles to the very end. The Cronies have seen the resurgence of the Magic City and the new stadiums (Regions Field and Protective Stadium) and built infrastructure that has held up for the “test of time,” in Birmingham. Now, the Mayors will officially go for the three-peat.  

Freebirds flex vs. beleaguered Bandits:

The division winner in the Green Horn Division for 2023 is the Fultondale Freebirds. They rocked the “youngling” division that will send two teams to the Big Dance, and ol’ Bocephus is dancing at the front of the line. In Week 15, the Freebirds flexed their muscles by dropping the Altadena Bandits by the final score of 34-21, in a game that was never in doubt after the coin toss and the National Anthem. Barry’s team was done when they got off the bus in the bowels of Black Creek. “Jammin Jaimie” is a real threat in the BDCS, and Barry’s black Trans-Am is up on blocks awaiting more than a lube job as the Big Mullet Series (BMS) stares the Bandits in the face in a season where the Bandits simply under-performed.  

Blitz blindsided by Sleds:

The Druid City Blitz did enough “good work” in the first 14-weeks of the regular season to overcome a bad performance in Week 15. This past weekend, “Fritz’s Gritz Blitz,” was blindsided by the Fairfield PowerSleds, 32-19. But, daBlitz is headed to the BDCS, and the “Mean Machine” has a one-way ticket to the Big Mullet Series (BMS). The Sleds played well in this match-up, but it has been a nightmare season for Mad Jack Barnes. Meanwhile, the Blitz will limp into the Big Dance, but they still have a chance to make some noise.  

Armadillos one TD better than the Grenades:

The Commissioner’s team was eliminated long ago from the BDCS. To their credit, they kept playing hard and giving it the old, proverbial, “college try.” That effort was not good enough in Week 15 for the Mineral Springs Grenades, as they were shot down by the BDCS-advancing Duncanville Armadillos. K.P.’s ‘Dillos won 21-14, and will be one of the Top Seeds in the Big Dance. Unfortunately, the ‘Dillos will draw the Bullets in Round One, and that gives Prewitt some “cause for concern.” Said K.P., “Not looking forward to facing the two-headed monster of Tua and Run CMC (Christian McCaffrey that the Benton Bullets roll out there every weekend.” It’ll come down to Christmas Night and MNF as the 49ers battle the Ravens in the last NFL game of Week 16.  

Sloths top Gamblers:

In a game featuring a pair of Big Mullet Series (BMS) participants, the Sloth Monsters topped the Gulf Coast Gamblers 15-11. It was a disappointing season for both of these teams. However, these teams thrive in the environment that hosts the consolation BDFL tournament, so watch out for the Dixie Mafia and the Three Toed Tree Dwellers in the BMS.  

The Fourth Hand Brother:  

This feature has ended. The Bulletin thanks you for your input and attention.  

Week 15 in the JrBDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The Junior League has moved onto their playoff segment and only one Hand has made the championship playoff bracket and that’s Ben Hand. The Hands of Benton – Meredith, Matthew, and Milton – did not qualify. They simply didn’t “pull” hard enough for their individual NFL players on their JrBDFL rosters (like their dad did – see below).  

Anatomy of a Must Win (benefits of baggin’):

Here’s the up’s and down’s and chronology of the Bullets “win-or-go-home” game vs. the Juggernauts in the last game of the regular season in the BDFL. Before we begin, a big key was Bullet watching as many games as possible and *baggin’ for outcomes to help his team. (*Pulling his guts out, attempting to jinx other players, and willing his team to vict’ry.) Here we go. After the noon NFL games it was Tua 6 – Mahomes 6 or Bullet 6 and ‘Nauts 6. Then, the fun began. 3:30 p.m. Nauts 9-7 / 4:00 p.m. Nauts 10-8 / Cook (Buffalo) TD pass catch: Nauts 13-8 / 4:20 p.m. McCaffrey (SF) TD catch, Moody (SF) PAT, 13-12, Nauts / 4:30 p.m. repeat McCaffrey TD catch, Moody PAT, but Rams FG & PAT for Nauts… so Nauts up 17-16 / Then by 5:20 p.m. Nauts 23, Bullets 23 - after Cook TD and McCaffrey TD and Moody PAT. / 5:30 p.m. “key sequence” both bad for Nauts, Rams miss FG, Cook drops sure TD. / 5:40 p.m. Moody puts the Bullets ahead with FG and PAT, 27-23. / Sunday Night Game – Bullet dodges a bullet when Calvin Ridley (Jags-Juggernauts) is ruled out of bounds, and MNF, Lockett (Seattle/’Nauts) goes scoreless and the Bullets win and advance to the BDCS at 7-8 under the “revised” Bullet Rule.