Mayors Repeat by Slaying Sloths in Big Daddy Bowl XXI:

The year of the repeat is complete. Regardless of what the actual calendar says regarding the “year,” the “football season” that just ended in college football, the Big Daddy Football League (bdfl), and the JrBDFL is the “Year of the Repeat.” The Georgia Bulldogs rode an easy road to the College Football Playoff (CFP), didn’t have to play Alabama, didn’t have to lose to Bama in the SEC Championship Game, and rolled to a repeat. In the BDFL, the Magic City Mayors conversely* had to run the gauntlet in the regular season and in the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS). The Cronies emerged as back to back champions. Down in the Junior League, Hayden Roberts (Matthew Hand’s roomie) repeated in the JrBDFL. Back to the BDFL… Mayor Arrington’s 2022 season was a lot like his 2021 season. The Mayors were the class of the league and they claimed the Grand Daddy Trophy with a repeat and their third total BDFL Title. In the Big Daddy Bowl, the Mayors had to slay the Sloths to get to the summit. Muke’s Sloth Monsters were sneaky good in 2022, but they were no match for the Mayors in the championship game. The Mayors got the vict’ry 24-14, and now they have bragging rights for another year in America’s ultimate fantasy football league. Hail to the Mayors, quoteth the Mayor: “Thanks to all and look forward to seeing everyone at the Super Bowl Gala. Special thanks to Iron and his staff (Bullet) for the efforts to keep this thing going! If we really have a board of regents they are to be commended too,” said Alan. “By the way, Captain Jack and his quote would be something like: “I’m not going to build a converse (maroon canvas high top with rubber sole) factory up your a$$ at this time!” NOTE: “Captain Jack” is a reference to Coach Jack Standridge, Gardendale’s hard-nosed, basketball coach (and war ball coach) from the late 1970’s. He certainly would be proud of his prized pupil: Alan Arrington.  

‘Nauts Shoot Down Bullets:

All of the rest of the action in the BDFL for Week 18 – the final week of the NFL’s regular season – would have to be considered consolation games of one sort or the other. The first of these match-ups would be the Jugtown Juggernauts vs. the Benton Bullets. This one was a snoozer of a contest, but a close game. In the end, the ‘Nauts shot down the Bullets, 14-10. For the ‘Nauts, it was a good finish to a nice season. It was conversely… a tough end to a tumultuous season – but a ground-breaking year – for the Bullets. The old Bullerino became the first team in the last 25-years to make it to the BDCS with a losing record, circumventing the old, proverbial “Bullet Rule.” The Broadcasting Bullet got there, when nobody else could, under the Bullet Stipulation (BS). The Bullets then pulled out a First Round upset vict’ry before losing two straight to close out a season in the sun, and in darkness.  

Dogs Fall to Neanderthals:

The Brookside Dogs had an impressive 2022. Mark’s Mutts were tripped up in the early rounds of the BDCS, but nothing compares to being shot down in their final game of the season by a fake team. Lacking motivation in the consolation portion of the bracket, the Dogs were not motivated against a faceless opponent. The Neanderthals managed to score more points in this Week 18 match-up, and they got the win, and the Dogs are left to await baseball season for Briarwood Christian.  

Dillos Dominate Cheetahs:

Things went from bad to worse for the Southside Cheetahs in the post-season. The Sin Wagon got rolled in the opening round by the Bullets, and in their swan song of 2022, they were upset by the Duncanville Armadillos by the final score of 22-7. K.P.’s team was buoyed by their trip to New Orleans with two of the three Hand Brothers, and the ‘Dillos were able to close the season on a high note and send their fans to the off-season with the belief that they can compete for a potential title in the BDFL, and escape the Null Set Club.  

Meanwhile in the Big Mullet Series (streaming almost live)…

The Gulf Coast Gamblers pulled off a thrilling vict’ry over the Druid City Blitz. The final score was 17-16. It was the thrilling highlight of all of the consolation action of the final weekend of the BDFL season. Now, what awaits all of the teams in the BDFL, is the re-distribution of the Grand Daddy Trophy and the Super Bowl Gala. The Dixie Mafia will enter the proceedings with a little swagger after closing with a win. Meanwhile, the Western Hills Wildcats also finished with a mini-flurry. The “James Gang” took care of the Fieldstown Bellcows 20-15. Elsewhere, the Commissioner survived “a season like none other,” in the BDFL. Iron Hand had to deal with a number of different issues over the course of the year, and the playoffs, and the outcry of the rank & file and the freedom of the Bullet Press. The Commish responded with the creation of a couple of fake teams and out-of-bracket games. But, you can’t criticize him for being scared to “think outside the box.” But, just like all of the younger coaches going for it all the time of 4th down, and over-relying on the analytics, it’ll get you beat more times than not. With all of that said – or written – the Mineral Springs Grenadiers did win in Week 18, topping the Bandits, 25-19. The Commissioner’s youngest brother and rank-and-file rebel rouser – Jammin Jaimie Hand – faced the Fairfield PowerSleds this past weekend. This one ended up in a 25-25 tie between the Freebirds and the Mean Machine. In overtime, the F’Birds triumphed over the Fairfield team. The last game of the year saw the Blue Deacons beat a fake team.  

Week 18 in the Junior League – “It’s all about the kids.”

The Championship Game in the JrBDFL spanned two weeks. And, just like the Senior Circuit, it produced a repeat champion: Hayden Robert’s Haydenators defeated Matthew Hand’s Selma Southpaws by about 40-points. Matthew started 0-5 and rallied with a long winning streak, only to lose in the Championship Game for about the fourth time in the league’s short history. The Haydenators became the first team in the JrBDFL to repeat as champions, and their championship trophy will stay in its same place – across the hall from Matthew – in Hayden’s room in Martha Parham Hall on the campus of the University of Alabama.