Once Eliminated - Commissioner Comes Out Firing:

The BDFL Commissioner really likes it when all the members of the BDFL put in 100% effort. Whether in trades or draft homework, or submitting competitive starters each and every week. Give it the old college try in fantasy pro football. Even if your team is without key starters and if the odds are against you, give it your best effort so you can look yourself in the mirror, for your own personal and professional development, for the good of your friends and family, and for the good of the league. Long live the BDFL! In Week 13, the Commissioner led by example. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers were eliminated from the Big Daddy Championship Series the previous week, but they came out swinging this past weekend. Old Iron scored 57 points and put an A.W. over the Fairfield PowerSleds. It was an impressive performance, and on the losing side, the “Mean Machine” also did their best. Mad Jack’s team (also eliminated from the BDCS) scored enough points to defeat half of the other BDFL teams, but in this match-up, they had to absorb an A.W. But, The Bulletin is singling out these two “eliminated” teams for not giving up, giving it their best, and trying everything to win. It’s kind of like practicing and executing a 4th and 31 play that most folks don’t think you’ll ever need, and it pays off in your biggest rivalry game to save your season and lead to bigger and better things.  

Cow Wow! Cats Catch A.W. from Fieldstown Footballers:

The Fieldstown Bellcows are on a roll. Reports are coming into the Bulletin headquarters that a pivotal trade was made weeks ago by Belrose and since then it has been nothing but “sidelines and headlines” for the Bellcows. The phenomenal surge by the Fieldstown team was never more apparent than in Week 13, when the Bellcows demolished the Western Hills Wildcats by much more than 21-points, making it an official A.W. Folks, this one was never close. The “James Gang” never say what hit them and the whap-sided loss dropped the Mildcats under the .500 mark for the season.  

Mayors Win Shootout vs. Freebirds:

The Magic City Mayors kept scoring and scoring this past weekend and it took that kind of relentless effort to help them hold off a “never-say-die” Fultondale Freebirds team that doesn’t know the meaning of the word, “Fear.” In fact, The Bulletin saw some of Bocephus’ old grades, and he apparently doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words. All those factors being previously stated, the Freebirds put up 31-points, but they still came up short against the two-time, defending BDFL Champions. Now, the questions stands: can the Magic City Mayors do it again? The Cronies have had a few rough patches in 2023, but Mr. Mayor is still one of the teams to beat as the fantasy football cyber world heads down the home stretch.  

Juggernauts Top Gamblers:

At this point in the season, The Bulletin cannot ignore the “Bullet Rule.” This week, eliminated under the long-time, vengeful, and punitive regulation is the Gulf Coast Gamblers. The Dixie Mafia lost in Week 13 and their record fell below the point where they could not possible have a winning season, even if they run the table, and win all of their remaining games. It was the Jugtown Juggernauts who gave the Gamblers this most-recent loss. The ‘Nauts topped the Gamblers 31-19 in a game that went back-and-forth early, but the “Bunch of Girls,” were able to pull away in the 4th quarter and notch the vict’ry. A.E. sandwiched the Thursday Night NFL game around a trip to Atlanta for the Bama-UGa contest, and then “showed up and showed out” on Sunday afternoon at Rocket Stadium.  

Cheetahs Slip Past Sloths:

The Sloth Monsters entered Week 13 with a road map to the Big Mullet Series on the dashboard of their big white Grenada with a yellow canoe tied on top. Too bad the vehicle got stuck in Old Man Kelsey’s field after doing a number of donuts and attracting the local police. Mukes got out of the situation with some southern drawl explanations from this “partner in crime,” Albert Reeves, who simply told the cops, “it musta been somebody else.” That was the response Albert gave to the cops with hay still on the fenders of the dinosaur mobile. As far as the BDFL is concerned, all of the attention allegedly distracted the Sloth Monsters, and they were shot down by the Southside Cheetahs. Muke’s team could have had the win, but the Tree Toed Tree Dwellers were unable to “hold onto” the vict’ry, and it slipped away to the Cheetahs, who said the last two weekends were about the best back-to-back weekends he could remember.  

Bandits Edge Blitz:

In the closest game in Week 13 in the BDFL, the Altadena Bandits edged the Druid City Blitz by two in a nearly deserted Kentuck Park, near the Black-Warrior River in Tuscaloosa. Fans apparently stayed away from the area and stayed near “the Strip” celebrating Saturday’s Alabama action and the CFP announcement that came earlier Sunday morning. With practically no one there, the Bandits and the Blitz put on a great show. The game was very competitive. It featured numerous lead changes and momentum swings. In the end, it was “Barry’s Bandits” that made one more play than Jerry’s Gritz Blitz and the final score told the story: Bandits 21 – Blitz 19.  

Dogs Drop 4th Straight – Victims of the Vulcans:

A fantastic start in 2023, has crashed and burned like a big bag of dog poop on Stan White’s porch. And, there stands the Former Super Banker trying to stomp out the flames. The rubber tycoon can’t seem to put out the blaze. “Mark’s Mutts” have now lost four straight, making their fantastic start this season look like an ancient memory. Mr. Burr and his Brookside Dogs have taken their fair share of beatings from the Hands and the Slovensky’s, but this past Sunday, he had to take it from second-generation BDFLer, Nic Hand. It was pretty for the Dogs, and the “young but naïve” Vulcans are looking like they kind of know what they’re doing in the BDFL.  

Bullet Dumps ‘Dillos:

“Remember the Rose Bowl, we’ll win then.” It’s right there in the song and Bullet and Kurt Prewitt have “been there – done that.” Back in 2009 (actually very early in 2010), they were there at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California, to witness the first of Alabama’s recent string of national championships. This season, Bama’s quest to finish on top will begin there in the College Football Playoff. Whether or not Bullet and K.P. can make the trip has yet to be determined. (Note: Bullet says he will not be there.) Bullet and K.P. did meet up in Week 13 in BDFL action, with the Armadillos complaining the whole time about off-weeks and injuries. The Benton Bullets pounced on the opportunity and picked up the vict’ry as an underdog.  

The Fourth Hand Brother – Part 12:

The Bulletin is relatively sure he’ll be at the “Big Party” Saturday night at the Old House on Hand Lane in Fieldstown on the outskirts of Gardendale. (All are invited. It’s Jaimie Hand’s 60th Birthday Party, and 27-24 aftermath celebration.) Anyway, this week’s 4th Hand Brother is at almost every party at the Old House. He might be more of a favorite of Donald Hand – at this point – than Chris, Bullet, or Jaimie. He ushers at church with Jaimie and watched the Iron Bowl and SEC Championship Game with Jaimie. It’s former BDFLer Anthony Bishop. He goes way back with the Hand Brothers even though he went to Mortimer Jordan instead of GHS. He was in the same catechism class with Bullet (and Belrose, Joe Musso, Schifinella, and Rovi). He was invited into the BDFL by Chris. The nitch he filled to be an honorary Hand Brother was driving his truck and hauling the beer to multiple Atlanta, Bama season-opening games and at least one SEC Championship Game (2009 Tebow crying) that was freezing. Chris, Bullet, Jaimie, and Bishop would get out of the truck – try to tailgate – and get back in the truck to warm up… and repeat until it was time to head over to the Georgia Dome. The Bulletin doesn’t believe any of those games were loses by the Crimson Tide, so that helps boosts A.B.’s story, and one of the reason’s he’s the latest “Fourth Hand Brother.”  

Week 13 in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

The Bulletin has nothing to report this week from the JrBDFL. Check that… the Lowndes County Labs (Milton) defeated the Benton Bullerflies (Meredith) by the cyber-final score of 114.9 to 101.34. The BDFL Commissioner always says, how do you score fractions in football? The Bulletin doesn’t have an answer for that. Actually, maybe because it is “fantasy football” played on computers and TVs from actions that take place on an NFL field. Anyway, “It’s all about the kids,” and they seem to enjoy it. The JrBDFL Commissioner’s score goes unreported here, but Matthew Hand apparently had a good time in Atlanta watching the Tide roll to a 30th SEC Championship.