Mayors flex in double A.W. vs. Toilet Bandits:

The two-time defending champion Magic City Mayors are hitting their stride now, so the rest of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL) can watch out. The Ol’ Cronies opened up an industrial sized can of whoop @$$ in Week 12 in the BDFL, and they poured it all over the sharp, black, Trans-Am driven by the Altadena Bandits. It was actually more like a barrel. It was bad. The Mayors won it 56-10 in an epic A.W. Arrington and his City Council are now just 6-6 on the season and pulling away from the Pucker Factor, but they are also going strong for the three-peat. On the other side of the gridiron, the Bandits were shell-shocked and stunned and blindsided. However, they did pick up some weekly recognition in the BDFL. Wasn’t there a movie called “Time Bandits?” Thanks for asking, yes there was in 1981 and it featured Sean Connery and John Cleese. No, Barry’s team is not the Time Bandits, but they can be call Toilet Bandits after their performance over the Thanksgiving weekend. “It ain’t cool being no jive turkey this close to Thanksgiving.”    

TRIO OF TEAMS ELIMINATED FROM THE BIG DANCE

Commish loses to Rookies – Eliminated from the BDCS after just 12 Weeks:

For three BDFL teams, the Thanksgiving weekend was a disaster. Did they get turkey? Yes. Did they spend time with friends and family? Yes. Did they get to watch some NFL and college football? Yes. Did they come up with wins in the BDFL? No. That was the holiday weekend for the Grenadiers, PowerSleds, and Sloth Monsters as all of them fell to 2-10 in the BDFL and have been officially eliminated from the Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS). Former WFL fan, Chris Hand, lost to the Vulcans in Week 12. Nic Hand’s North Birmingham Vulcans outscored the Commissioner 31-21, to push the Mineral Springs Grenadiers past the point of elimination. Iron Hand will now watch the season play out, continue to serve the other franchises as the Big Cheese, and try to regroup for the Big Mullet Series.

PowerSleds "Say Hello" to the Big Mullet Series (BMS):

The Fairfield PowerSleds lost to the Fieldstown Bellcows 26-12 in Week 12. And, it wasn’t close, as the cow bell carrying team controlled the game from start to finish over the long weekend that included three games on Turkey Day, one on Black Friday, several on Sunday, and a Monday Night game. Mad Jack’s team has just played uninspired this season, and they just didn’t respond to his old-fashioned discipline and practices. Belrose was very pleased to pick up another vict’ry as he tries to escape the “Null Set Club,” and potentially pick up his first BDFL title.  

Sloths slide into oblivion – Nullified by Nauts:

The final score from Driver Stadium at Ed Bruce Field in Rocket City South, or Jugtown was the hometown Juggernauts 28 and the slumping Sloths 17. Mukes has had a rough season in the BDFL. The Sloth Monsters are now eliminated from the BDCS. The overall record for the Three Toed Tree Dwellers fell to 2-10 with this most recent loss and like the Grenadiers and the PowerSleds, the Sloths have been eliminated under the infamous Bullet Rule. The ‘Nauts are flying high and feeling mean after an Iron Bowl to remember and are making plans to head to Atlanta and rendezvous with several other BDFLers.  

DaBlitz continues Blitzkrieg – Whips Wildcats:

On the complete opposite side of the spectrum or gridiron are the Druid City Blitz. This is a team that is also trying to escape the Null Set Club. The Blitz is now 11-1 on the season sporting the best record in the BDFL. Jerry Fritz’s Gritz Blitz had no trouble in Week 12 with the Western Hills Wildcats. DaBlitz pounded the “James Gang” on the Mildcats home turf at Fair Park just a short run from a crook from Five Points West. The Druid City Blitz is now positioned for a historic stretch run, and everyone keeping score at home – and we know you are – will watch closely to see if Fritz can handle the pressure down the stretch and into the playoffs.  

Freebirds rock out on the Red Neck Riveria:

The music was loud inside and outside the Beau Rivage on Sunday evening as the fabulous Fultondale Freebirds celebrated winning big at the tables, and on their side bets on Bama pulling out a win for the ages at the local sports book. Not to mention (too late) Bochephus’ 36-22 vict’ry over the Gulf Coast Gamblers on their home sand that is referred to as the Red Neck Riveria by Bond… Isaiah Bond. Hime Hand was giddy after the events of Saturday in the Iron Bowl, and he was able to parlay that euphoria into a big BDFL vict’ry. The Dixie Mafia was disgusted on several levels after Week 12 in the BDFL, and now must find a way to regroup after losing in their home stadium, and now face a stretch run that might be difficult between now and the selection of the BDCS and the Big Mullet Series (BMS), which is set for the Gulf Coast for another season.  

Bullets and Cheetahs score big on Thanksgiving but the Bullets pulled away on Sunday:

Bullet and Butch could care less about the BDFL after their beloved Crimson Tide pulled out another win at the voodoo palace in Lee County. However, both Bullet and Butch’s teams scored a lot of points before the Iron Bowl, and went into Sunday’s action (and MNF) looking to pick up a much-needed win in fantasy football. The Benton Bullets were looking to stop a three-game losing streak and the Sin Wagon was looking to roll toward another playoff run. The Bullets basically had a better Sunday than the Cheetahs and were able to hold on until the final gun sounded on Monday night. The final score read 27-24. Wait. That’s not the right score. The final score was Bullets 31, Cheetahs 25. And, you can put that in your holiday, corn cob pipe and smoke it.  

Dogs drop third straight – Done in by the Dillos:

The Brookside Dogs have been prancing and posing most of the season in the BDFL like they’re in some kind of dog show around Christmas, or Thanksgiving. However, over the last three weeks the honeymoon has been over for “Mark’s Mutts.” In the second A.W. of the weekend, the Duncanville Armadillos hammered the Brookside Dogs by the final margin of 34-13. The Bulletin completed the math, and that’s a 21-point margin, which qualifies for an A.W., and the game wasn’t really as close at the final score would indicate. So, after a great start, some doubt is creeping into the minds of the Mutts as they are wondering can their team get it done when it counts the most. Meanwhile, the Duncanvillians are strutting like a Butterball Turkey prior to Thanksgiving and living large – before – the ax falls. K.P. is also getting some extra attention in this week’s award winning Bulletin (see below).  

The Fourth Hand Brother – Part 11:

He’s been to Fieldstown. He’s been to Benton. He’s been to Selma. He’s been to T-Town. He’s crashed in multiple guest rooms in multiple homes, and he’s been a Hand roommate. He’s played Division I baseball (and finished in the Top Ten in batting average in the SEC), and he’s played on teams with Chris and Jaimie and he’s watched in-person, and followed athletic teams of Bullet’s kids. He’s watched sporting events with Babo & Papa. And, he’s come through with reservations and tickets to national championship games, and he’s brought more Honey Baked Hams than can be counted and partaken of “vict’ry chicken.” This week’s 4th Hand Brother is Kurt Prewitt of Charlotte, NC by way of Duncanville, Texas. In fact, K.P. may be the closest to splitting his time virtually equally between Chris, Bullet, and Jaimie. He’s kinda been in the fold so long, it’s hard to remember when it all started. The Bulletin believes it was at Sewell-Thomas Field (now Stadium) when Jaimie attempted to walk on and then with Chris when KP’s kids attended Alabama and Chris just happened to live down the street from Bryant-Denny Stadium. And, with all the Hands tailgating and at most of the Atlanta early season Bama games, and multiple post-season Bama games including with Bullet in Pasadena and New Orleans, and at last year’s Sugar Bowl with Jaimie, Bullet, Nic Hand, Kevin Hand and Matthew Hand. So, for better or worse… K.P. – this week’s Honorary Hand Brother.  

Week 12 in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Junior League, here are the standings if you can comprehend them: first place is the Birmingham Barn Burners (Jackson Barnes), second place is Fried Bryce (Ben Hand), and third place is the Canton Bulldogs (Jacob Wood). Actually, “Team Perc” from Parts Unknown is also in the mix atop the JrBDFL standings after the long and winding Thanksgiving weekend in the NFL, BDFL, and Junior League.