Naut Scared – Juggernauts Put Whippin’ (AW) on PowerSleds:

The Jugtown Juggernauts were not intimidated by the big, bad, Fairfield PowerSleds in Week Six action in the Big Daddy Football League. In fact, A.E.’s ‘Nauts took an old school approach against Jack’s “Mean Machine.” Allyson decided in pre-game, film study, and “skull sessions,” to run right at the Sleds. The strategy worked to perfection as the ‘Nauts opened up an industrial, 55-gallon drum of “whoop @$$,” and poured it all over the Sled Heads, until their ears started bleeding. Actually, the PowerSleds ears might have been bleeding prior to kickoff with the Edgar Winter and Mettalica they had blaring in the locker room. At any rate, the Juggernauts destroyed the Sleds in A.W. fashion in a game that was never close. Final Score from Ed Bruce Field at Driver/Rocket Stadium: 41-17.  

Bullets Shoot Out the Lights – or Light – at Mt. High:

“Process that,” said Bullet, after his Benton Bullets exited Blount County Sunday evening with a touchdown-vict’ry over the Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS), 24-18. It was a close game between the Ol’ Bullerino and Bishop. The Bullets were able to shoot straight enough (without any BS) to knock out the one light in the one-horse town of Mt. High, and that literally left Bishop “in the dark.” Before Anthony could find his back-up, kerosene, oil, or Coleman lanterns… the Bullets had slipped out with the win. The 6-point vict’ry in Week Six halted a four-game losing streak for the Bullets and left the Bishops pondering what their next move would be after visiting the Dollar General for more incandescent light bulbs.  

Dogs Claw Cats in Route to A.W.:

The Brookside Dogs stormed outta the “post” as if Uncle Ray had money bet on them at GreeneTrack. “Mark’s Mutts” went straight to the rail, and led from “wire to wire” to notch an A.W. over the beleaguered Western Hills Wildcats, 30-9. The Dog’s vict’ry, bus ride, celebrations back to Brookside through the backroads of Jefferson County are becoming legendary. Fans of the Dogs turn out in North Birmingham, Coalburg, Hooper City, Republic, Daisy City, and Dog Town, to cheer their favorite pets after any win, and especially after an A.W.  

Gamblers Embarrassed by Bandits:

The Gulf Coast Gamblers had to “pay up,” when their weekend with Barry’s Smoky and the Bandits marathon was over on Sunday night. The Dixie Mafia simply had no match for the Black Trans Am with the T-Tops and the Eagle on the hood. The final score said 23-3, so the contest ended one-point short of an A.W., but it was probably more embarrassing than an A.W. for the “Real Deal.” Single-digits on the scoreboard at 0:00 is pretty bad, but scoring only 3-points is about as bad as it gets. The “pay up” for the Bandits according to the movie marathon plot was a truck load of original Coors – party at Bucket’s on the Gardendale-Fultondale line. (By they way, the Gamblers were awarded the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak.”)  

Sloth Monsters Slay Mayors – Both Visit Bucket’s:

Let’s see, light bulbs, nails, and watermelons were quickly hid at Bucket’s when word got out that the Sloths and Mayors were headed over after their BDFL game this weekend. It might have been the biggest party at that particular subdivision location since Rory Turner “waxed the dude, Bo went the wrong way, and Bookwork McGinty choked on the potential game winning field goal.” Okay, second – the party after “The Kick” was bigger. But, this one was a pretty good, old-fashioned, get-together, complete with Bocephus music and some old honk from Skynyrd. The Sloths and Mayors didn’t really talk much about their BDFL contest that ended with the Three Toed Tree Dwellers topping the Cronies 36-17. Of course, the cops came to the party.  

Armadillos Outscore Cheetahs in See-Saw Affair:

Elsewhere, in the Big Daddy Football League, the Duncanville Armadillos survived a shoot-out against the Southside Cheetahs. This one went back-and-forth all weekend. The Sin Wagon rolled out to an early lead, but eventually the Armadillos blocked the road and the game set into one of those score-athon thrillers. K.P.’s little ol’ team from Texas managed to hit on a couple of more big plays than Butch’s Cheetahs, and that was the difference, as the ‘Dillos waddled away with a 32-27 vict’ry in Week Six.  

Bomb Squad Explodes on Bellcows:

The final score read: Grenadiers 23 – Bellcows 10. However, this game was never really in doubt for the Commissioner and his original Fieldstown Bomb Squad. The team – formally known as the Hand Grenades – exploded against the team currently carrying the Fieldstown moniker – the Bellcows. There was also a Fieldstown Phantoms team in the early days of the BDFL. Be that as it may, Chris Hand’s Grenadiers beat David Belrose’s Bellcows in a pretty ho-hum game on one of the back lot fields off Lane Drive in Fieldstown.  

Hand Brothers Close Strong – Himes Gets ‘Em to 3-0 Week:

Jammin’ Jaimie Hand rallied to defeat the Druid City Blitz in a real sleeper, 10-9. With the vict’ry the Hand Brothers notched a 3-0 Week Six in BDFL action. That’s always a good reason to celebrate. So, off to the Old House went Chris, Jerome, and Jaimie for one of the standard events complete with outside fire, food, beverages, and pocket billiards. Please mark your calendars for a similar celebration on Saturday, November 19, at approximately 6 p.m. – until to mark the 60th Birthday of Bullet (and the 61st for the Commissioner and the 59th for Hime). It’s a Saturday, where Bama plays Austin Peay at 11am, and Western Kentucky plays on the Plains. We can promise only one thing at the party: No B.S.  

Week Six in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

The crying and gnashing of teeth has ended at Martha Parham Hall on the campus of the University of Alabama. Freshman Matthew Hand has picked up his first vict’ry of the season in the Junior League. Matthew outlasted his roommate, Hayden Roberts, to get the win. It was the first loss for the Haydenator after a 5-0 start. Matthew, Hayden, and Logan from Lexington, are up for the “AllState Good Hands Freshmen of the Year Award,” for field goal net raising and lowering. After stumbling outta the gate with a blunder in Game One of the season, the trio has been near flawless, pulling into a tie with the quartet of net raisers at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, who under California law can utilize an extra person with the State providing salary and benefits. Elsewhere in the JrBDFL, the Hands of Benton trio equaled Chris, Jerome, and Jaimie’s trifecta in Week Six – they all won. Matthew with his first, Meredith edged Jacob Wood, and Milton rallied on Monday Night Football to win by coming-from-behind to get the vict’ry by 0.2 points.