Defending Champion Mayors Flex in Week Two:

It’s 2022, and the BDFL has its first A.W. of the season. After zero AW’s in Week One, the second weekend of the regular season featured one vict’ry by 21-points, or more. The Defending Champions - Magic City Mayors slaughtered the Altadena Bandits, 45-18, in a game that was only close during the National Anthem and the coin toss. After that, the Old Cronies pushed around New Barry. The city proved they were better than the county. Now, the Mayors can begin diverting all of their attention to getting ready for the Magic City Classic and the Bandits can visit Burger King for a chance to regroup and get ready for the elections in November.

Armadillos Ambush Bullets:

After a horrible performance in the opening week of the season, the Duncanville Armadillos got the heck outta Texas. The strategy paid off with a 41-point week. This one looked like a sure A.W. after the Sunday Night game. However, the proud Benton Bullets battled back following the opening ambush by the Armadillos. Behind Jalen Hurts’ 18-points on MNF, the old Bullerino pulled to within a touchdown of pulling off a Big A comeback. But, alas, the Dreaded Schedule Maker (and the Dillos) proved to be too much for the Bullets to overcome. Bullet scored the most of any losing team in the BDFL in Week Two, which doesn’t really mean a darn thing. “$&!#-pot luck,” said Bullet.

Mukes Scores 40 – Holds on Late (without thumbs) to Beat Gamblers:

Mukes’ Sloth Monsters scored 40-points in Week Two, but had to hold on down the stretch to survive a late comeback by the Gamblers. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers got the win by the final score of 40-31. In the long and storied hist’ry of the BDFL, games like this come and go, but the important thing to remember is this league offers no participation ribbons, no decimals in the final scores, and no praise for the losers, who in this game ended up being the Dixie Mafia. So, The Bulletin has no report on the Gamblers post-game activities (they probably went to North Mobile to see some fall baseball). On the other hand, we know the Sloths picked up Albert and did some vict’ry donuts in a nearby hay field, in the big white Ford Grenada with a yellow canoe tied on top.

Mildcats Bow to Commissioner:

It’s been a rough start for the Western Hills Wildcats in the BDFL in 2022. The “James Gang” started off the season by losing to a bunch of girls (Juggernauts). In Week Two, the Mildcats had to face the Commissioner and his rowdy Bomb Squad – even though they don’t go by the Hand Grenades anymore - and look like some kinda guards for the Queen of England (who, by the way, passed away). The Grenadiers, really. Like one of the football teams that didn’t realize they had sharp uniforms and changed their uniforms to something worse… the Grenades changed to Grenadiers… for still some unknown and mysterious reason. Dog is still the Dogs, Bullet is still the Bullets, and Arrington remains the Mayor. At least the Commissioner’s team won in Week Two, topping the BioCats, 36-21.

Blitz Bounces Back Big vs. Big Jack:

The Fairfield PowerSleds ran into a buzz saw in the form of the Druid City Blitz this past week. The Mean Machine put up a respectable 30-points, but it was not good enough in Week Two against the fired up Fritz Gritz Blitz. The Red Baron flying circus scored 35-points to notch a pivotal vict’ry. The game was marred somewhat by bad officiating, awful coaching and a bench-clearing brawl. But, even though the Sleds had to taste the bitter pill of defeat, they didn’t have to face any bad news on Friday Night or Saturday afternoon… as Briarwood was “off” and the Crimson Tide rolled Buster Brown and his merry band of War Hawks from ULM. Rumor has it that Tiny Terry is at the top of the list for a potential new opening in Lee County.

Nauts Sleep Walk to Win over Freebirds:

Jammin’ Jaimie Hand had to “sit one out,” so, it’s good he won the Toilet Seat Team of the Weak. His Freebirds barely showed up in Week Two vs. the Jugtown Juggernauts. The F’birds scored only 7-points as the only team this week to score in single digits and were defeated by A.E., who notched only 13-points, but must be on good terms with the Dreaded Schedule Maker (DSM). Allyson celebrated her vict’ry with tea and crumpets at brunch while Jaimie sulked, especially when Mukes & Albert went to Old Man Kelsey’s hay field to do donuts without him, in a big white Ford Grenada with a yellow canoe tied on top.

Dogs Bite Bellcows – Off to 2-0 Start in 2022:

David Belrose took all the knowledge, notes, selfies and autographs he could from the Hand Brothers on Saturday in T-Town, but his Bellcows still fell short on Sunday and Monday in BDFL action. Belrose only scored 14, which would’ve beaten the aforementioned ‘Nauts and F’birds, but the Bellcows were matched against the Brookside Dogs, who are suddenly 2-0 early in the BDFL season. The Bulletin has learned that Dog could not attend the ULM game in T-Town, because he was one of the keynote speakers and presenters in Lee County for the Stan White extravaganza as one of Stan’s loyal, close and personal neighbors in the Moss Rock Preserve.

Heavy Duty Heavy Lifting Accomplished by Bishop:

The Southside Cheetahs also only scored 14-points in Week Two, and the Sin Wagon was completely derailed in Blount County by the Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) 24-14. The culture shock was just a little too much for Butch to overcome from the swank confines of Southside and his suburbanite upbringing on the east side of Gardendale. As for Bishop, everything seems to be locking in for Hayden’s latest entrepreneur. Not only has The Bulletin learned that the new, shiny, and easily accessible Mt. High meat processing company can handle road kill – like Armadillos – but they can also churn and burn on pumas, mountain lions, bobcats and Cheetahs. “It tastes just like chicken,” said Bishop.

Meanwhile in the JrBDFL:

In the Junior League, Milton Hand scored the most points in Week One. In Week Two, be played against the team (Ethan Arrington) that scored the most points. “What goes around comes around,” said Milton, as if he invented the saying. The rest of the teenage, mutant, long-hair, JrBDFL remains a mystery, but at the least the league is living up to its motto: “It’s all about the kids.”

Tide QB Trend:

Three (3) former Bama QB’s started in Week 2 of the BDFL season. The trio showed up and showed out on the gridiron notching vict’ries for their NFL franchises. Mac Jones led the Patriots to a win in Pittsburgh and Tua launched SIX (6) TD passes to stage a huge fourth quarter comeback as the Dolphins defeated the Ravens in Baltimore. Tua scored 21 BDFL points. On Monday Night, Jalen scored 18 fantasy football points in the BDFL, as the Eagles flew past the Vikings.