Deuce’s Wild in Wild Opening Week in the NFL and BDFL:

The Bulletin is Back! The award-winning, postgame, nostalgic, game wrap-up online publication is here again to report the events of Week One in the BDFL. The 2022 season got off to a crazy start with wild games all over the place in the Sunday Noon window in the NFL. In the BDFL, through the afternoon, night, and Monday Night game… no less than four teams scored exactly 22 points in the first week of the 2022 season; one won, one lost, and two tied and went to overtime. Here’s a look at these games and the rest of the BDFL Week One action (see below).

Defending Champion Mayors Score 22 – Lose in OT to Cheetahs with 22:

It’s 2022, and the Grey Beard Division is still intact. It is “Year 28” in the Big Daddy Football League, and the Big Daddy’s are still going strong. Yeah, many of them are now grandfather’s and marrying off children, while some are getting their JrBDFLers into and out of college. However, between the lines, the product of hard-nosed, old-school fantasy football remains a quality entity with rugged competition at every turn. Example one of this, was the Week One match-up between the Mayors and the Cheetahs. It was a re-match last season’s Big Daddy Bowl, and it didn’t disappoint. The two teams battled to the very end, then ended up in a 22-22 tie in the opener of 2022. In the extra period, the Sin Wagon edged ahead to win in OT and get a tiny, tiny share of revenge for last year’s championship game that was lost to the Cronies in the final seconds. Actually, The Bulletin probably should have added at least one more “tiny.”

Blue Deacons Score 22 to Start off ’22 and get a Win:

There’s a new meat processing plant in Mt. High, and that’s not a metaphor. Up in the bowels of Blount County, A.B. has set up a shop to skin, bone, and grind not only venison, but opponents in the BDFL. The Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) completed the ribbon-cutting ceremony just in time to kickoff the 2022 season by chewing up and spitting out the Armadillos, 22-12. The Bulletin has learned that processing your average size Armadillo produces about one ounce of edible meat. Bishop put it on a couple of crackers and invited K.P. to stick around and have one. Prewitt was a little road-weary from his trip to Texas, but he was happy help the Tide bring back a vict’ry, even though he took one on the chin in the BDFL. “It tastes just like chicken,” said Bishop.

Mukes Scores 22 – Drops Opener to Bandits:

Mukes’ Sloth Monsters also scored 22 points in the first week of the 2022 BDFL season, but the Three Toed Tree Dwellers were shot down by the Bandits, 29-22. Just a couple of weeks after the Greg Green Renion Extravaganza, the two teams met at Driver Field at Rocket Stadium. There were certainly no hard feelings between Old Barry and Mukes after the game. They jumped into the black Trans Am, stopped at Jiffy Check for a Mountain Dew, went to Burger King and hung out, before closing the opening night out in style at Big Al’s.

Bellcows Moo their way to near A.W.:

The Fieldstown Bellcows came the closest to picking up an A.W. in Week One. Belrose’s Boys jumped out to an early lead, and then poured it on against the Druid City Blitz. Jerry Fritz’s teams proved to be too soft to handle the beef up front that they had to face in the opener for both teams. The Gritz Blitz did not lay down and wallow. They rallied late to avoid the A.W., and the first weekend of the season in the BDFL ended with no 21-point vict’ries and therefore no A.W.’s.

Bullets Crash Reception – Earn Vict’ry Over Gamblers:

One of the younger members of the Gambino Group tied the knot. The Bulletin has learned that the Dixie Mafia put on quite a show with Grayson Breal getting married. Apparently, his bachelor party was attending the Miller Genuine Draft via zoom. During the draft, Bullet tried to talk him out of it, but was unsuccessful. So, Bullet turned it around and used it against him and the entire Real Deal Contingent. Bullet pulled out a narrow win over the Gamblers, then crashed the reception. Kenny didn’t seem to mind (the loss stung, but not the reception deal). “The reception was paid for by the father of the bride,” said K.B. “What do I care? But, starting 0-1 in the highly competitive BDFL, now that’s serious.”

James Gang drops opener to Juggernauts:

Jerry James welcomed his first grandchild recently, so his embarrassing opening weekend lost to the Juggernauts didn’t really seem to sting the Mildcats too much. As for A.E., she was euphoric in the face of Bama’s escape routine in Austin, Texas, and her ‘Nauts starting the season out with a convincing 24-6 vict’ry over the over-matched Cats. “We’re 1-0,” said a jubilant A.E.

Dogs Bite Iron, 34-29:

The Bulletin closes with a couple of close games that the experts, odds-makers, and prognosticators didn’t see coming. The Brookside Dogs upended the Mineral Springs Grenadiers, 34-29, in a dog fight in Dog Town. The teams agreed to play the opener in Dog Town – right smack in the middle – between Brookside and Mineral Springs. The game drew a huge crowd and it was a tight, back-and-forth, see-saw battle from opening whistle to closing gun. Mark’s Mutts ended up taking a bite out of the Commissioner’s @$$, and getting the vict’ry. “Dog bites Iron,” said Dog… “put that in your Bulletin.” (We did).

Sleds Flip F’Birds:

Mad Jack Barnes was pretty livid after some bonehead Briarwood coaches let one slip away on Friday night – by one point. The Sleds however were up early on Saturday, licking their wounds and watching a penalty fiasco by the Crimson Tide. But Bama got a late field goal to escape Texas with a win – by one point. Then, the fanfare of opening weekend was greeted by the Mean Machine with mixed emotions. The Freebirds flew into the opener “flying high and feeling mean,” and approaching the opener with a mentality of “kicking A and taking names.” It was a good game. It probably deserved to be a little higher up in this week’s edition of The Bulletin. But, The Bulletin – like Week One in the BDFL – wanted to “finish strong.” That’s exactly what the Sleds did, they finished strong and pulled out a squeaker over the F’Birds - by one point. (24-23)

Meanwhile in the JrBDFL:

Meredith Hand called it “the Greatest Comeback in Fantasy History.” Her Benton Butterflies rallied late Sunday and through MNF to put out an improbable vict’ry over the Briarwood Barn Burners by 0.12-points. The final score was 102.7 to 102.58. It was a good opening week for the Hands of Benton, as Matthew and Milton also picked up wins. In real life high school football, Milton’s Morgan Academy team lost to Lee-Scott, 48-6, and Jackson Barnes’ Briarwood squad blew a halftime lead, and lost by one point to Pelham. So, some of the JrLeague mixing real football with fantasy football.