The Bulletin

The Gambino - Kenny Breal (C) with sons Jackson (L) and Greyson (R) at Lambeau Field this fall

Mayors win Big Daddy Bowl XX and the 2021 BDFL Championship Title 

Mayors Steal the Big Daddy Bowl – Shock Cheetahs and the BDFL Universe:

In one of the closest and most controversial Big Daddy Bowls of all time, the Magic City Mayors and the Southside Cheetahs squared-off in an all-time classic. This was an epic duel. In a match-up of long-time friends and two of the most elder statesmen of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL), the Cheetahs and the Mayors battled to the very end – the very, very, end – in the first-ever Week 18 in the BDFL and the National Football League. The gridiron grudge match for all the marbles and the Grand Daddy Trophy, “ebbed and flowed” like Old Man Kelsey’s Creek in a rain storm. The Bulletin is not calling either participant “old.” It just happens that these two charter members of the BDFL from the “Magnificent Seven" are getting up there in years and the taste of a championship is sweeter than ever. The championship game in the last week of the regular season went back-and-forth with the underdog Cheetahs taking punches and the Mayors counter punching. Late in the 4th quarter, it appeared the Sin Wagon was rolling toward another title, but the Mayors didn’t get the memo. The Cronies continued to battle back. Mayor Arrington refused to concede and decided not to take one more step back. The Mayors took all the Cheetahs could dish out and with the Mayors wobbling – but still standing – the Cronies threw one last Rocky Balboa left hook and landed the “death blow” against the Cheetahs. The epic Big Daddy Bowl XX ended with the Magic City Mayors claiming a one-point win and the BDFL Championship.  

Freebirds and PowerSleds Settle in Second Fiddle Bowl:

On to the consolation portion of the last weekend of the regular season in the NFL, the Fultondale Freebirds and the Fairfield PowerSleds faced off in the 2nd Fiddle Bowl. Both of the teams were still agonizing over not making the championship game and stewing over the fact that the 2nd Fiddle Bowl is designed to basically decide 3rd place in the BDFL. After the national anthem and the coin toss, the Sleds and F’birds decided that they might as well give it their all. In the end, it was the Fultondale Freebirds of Black Creek that escaped with a win over the PowerSleds, giving the “Mean Machine” a huge off-season headache and Jamin’ Jaimie Hand a mental boost going into the off-season.

Three Dollar Bill Bowl Goes Against The Commissioner:

A fantastic season came to a screeching halt for the Mineral Springs Grenadiers in the First Round of the playoffs. It was very difficult for the Commissioner to deal with an opening round loss in the BDCS, and to subsequently re-group. The Grenadiers lost another game and fell into the $3 Bill Bowl. Old Iron headed off to Big D to get some insight from Jerry Jones. Then the Commissioner visited Indianapolis to obtain information from the rogue James “Big Jim” Irsay. The research did not help the Commissioner in any way. It back-fired and the Grenadiers ended the season a couple of loses in the BDCS including a loss in the $3 Bill Bowl to the Gulf Coast Gamblers, who got a boost from their seemingly, semi-annual visit to the real frozen tundra of Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  

Blitz and Wildcats Coast to Checkered Flag:

Gentleman Jerry Fritz showed up in Indy in the Commissioner’s entourage. At least for a short time, the leader of the Gritz Blitz had the ear of Iron. Who knows what kind of benefits Fritz was able to accrue based on the hobnobbing? The Bulletin staff had an eyewitness view of the situation from the downtown corner of Meridian Street and Louisiana Street in Downtown Indianapolis. Meanwhile, the Western Hills Wildcats were nowhere to be seen. So, through the power of circumstantial evidence, the “James Gang” was able to over throw the Druid City Blitz in what appears to be a controversial overtime game in the Ol' Proverbial Bowl.  

Contested Big Mullet Bowl Goes Through Protests, Politics and Parade:

Something wasn’t quite right, right from the outset of the Big Mullet Bowl 2022. The Brookside Dogs and the Benton Bullets agreed to ditch Gulf Shores and play at the Brickyard, just across the river from downtown Indy at the famed Indianapolis Motor Speedway. It was the first game ever in the infield of the venerable old track. The hype for the game rivaled NASCAR’s Brickyard 400 and the Indy Car race they have there every May (usually referred to as the Indianapolis 500). Dog’s vehicle – his Brookside Dogs – moved like an Unser, or an Andretti. Bullet’s team looked more like Willie T. Ribbs. It was basically over from the beginning, but a funny thing happened on the way to the checkered flag and the celebration in Vict’ry Lane. The old Bullerino became suspicious and demanded recounts and legal action and refused to concede. With the award-winning, non-main stream media’s (The) Bulletin in his back pocket, Bullet was able to get an official “Ted & Clifton” protest going and with union troubles with the BDFL’s shaky and queasy @$$ system in disarray there was confusion and politics in action. Mark’s Mutts proceeded forward with a parade in Brookside and proclaimed themselves Big Mullet Bowl champs and successfully painted Bullet as the enemy of most things good and natural. When the @$$ system finally posted the final scores from Week 18, the Dogs indeed were the champs of the Big Mullet Bowl with a slaughter of the Bullets, and the Dogs will have the Number One draft choice from Vegas in the Pony Draft in the Spring. At one minute to press time, Bullet still had not conceded. “Aight, I concede,” said Bullet.  

The rest of the undercard in the BDFL:

Meanwhile, in the remainder of the Big Mullet Series, the Blue Deacons defeated the Sloth Monsters in the Lower Feeder Bowl after an @$$ mistake was uncovered. In the Dirty Sock Bowl, the Duncanville Armadillos held off the Fieldstown Bellcows, and finally in the Toilet Bowl… the Altadena Bandits rebounded with a vict’ry over the Jugtown Juggernauts.  

Meanwhile in the JrBDFL:

The Bulletin would like to congratulate Hayden Roberts for winning the championship in the JrBDFL. Buoyed by his trip with the Hands (Bullet, Matthew, and Milton – tailgating with Chris, Mary Margaret, and Nic), Hayden was able to upset top-seeded Ethan Arrington in Round One, and then defeat the defending champion IronLegs (Wade Mason) in the finals. Hayden plans to celebrate by playing his senior year of baseball at Morgan Academy, as probably the Number 2 starting pitcher, followed up by his enrollment at the University of Alabama, with his probable roommate being Matthew Hand. That sets Hayden up (and Matthew) with future fantasy football and roommate dynamic of the BDFL in the example of Chris, Dog, Barry, Bullet, Jaimie, Mukes, Kurt, and Jack and Jerry James.

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