The Bulletin

To celebrate the Grenadiers record-breaking 80-points in Week 11, here’s the BDFL’s favorite 80-year-olds at Bryant-Denny Stadium – Babo and Papa. Papa is showing off his “high dollar” miniature.

"...proverbial writs of habeas corpus"

Commissioner’s Compromises Pay Off – Grenadiers Dominate Dogs:

“Let me know when you get to two championships,” said Bullet in defense of his horrible 2021 team, and in reference to his pair of Big Daddy Football League championships (1997 and 2008 if you’re scoring at home – and we know you are). The comment was also made as a veiled insult to the Iron Handed Commissioner of the BDFL, who has just one championship to his name. However, that could all change this season. The Commissioner’s franchise – the Mineral Springs Grenadiers – set the all-time, single-week, total-point-total, in Week 11 in the BDFL. Old Iron scored 80. Like Bryce Young throwing it all around Bryant-Denny Stadium on Saturday… the Grenadiers scored at will on Sunday and routed the Brookside Dogs in an Epic A.W., 80-28. It was a performance for the ages for the Commissioner, who has longed for a second championship and made compromise after compromise to keep his precious league together over the decades. As for the defeated Dogs, it looks like this humiliating loss will drop them out of any opportunity to play in the Big Daddy Championship Series, as their 8th loss disqualifies Mark’s Mutts under the auspices of the Bullet Rule.  

“Even the Losers” Didn’t Get Lucky This Week:

The Brookside Dogs were not by themselves in the “agony of defeat” category in Week 11. All of the BDFL’s previously 3-7 teams – that couldn’t afford to lose – lost in Week 11. It was a purge. The Bulletin will chronicle it this way with the story of the Duncanville Armadillos going out first. K.P. & Company mustered up his Armadillos for a march to T-Town to try and gain an edge. Mukes has agreed to play K.P. in the empty lot across from Harry’s Bar. The Friday and Saturday went great for the Armadillos with super surroundings at 16 Audubon, the Quad, and Bryant-Denny Stadium. On Sunday, Mukes came off a cameo, late-night, fill-in shift at Harry’s and completely buried the ‘Dillos 36-22 in a BDFL game that was never close. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers did not brag, just returned to Harry’s to enjoy their vict’ry from the “other side” of the bar and listen to the classic juke box. Meanwhile, the “Little ol’ Team from Texas,” was eliminated from the Big Dance with loss Number Eight.  

Bellcows Blitzed in T-Town:

Most of the same stuff can be said about David Belrose. He ventured to T-Town and all was fine and dandy on Saturday. Then the next day, the Druid City Blitz came out at nearby Kentuck Park and blew out the Bellcows, 29-9. It was a brutal and painful end to any dreams of contention that Belrose may have harbored in his head and heart. It was a quick end to a dreadful season for the Bell Heads, and a welcome invitation to the Big Mullet Series. As for the Fritz Gritz Blitz, they are picking up some momentum and could possibly be a factor down the stretch if they get a break or two and the “creek don’t rise.”  

‘Nauts Out of Contention – Get Embarrassed by Blue Deacons:

It sounds like a broken record.* But, the same basic scenario holds true for the Jugtown Juggernauts in the pre-Thanksgiving week in the BDFL. Allyson Edwards visited Tuscaloosa on Saturday, watched the Tide roll (at least on offense) against the Arkansas Razorbacks and Bama’s QB break the all-time, single-game, passing yardage record. Then it was all down hill, and down hill fast for the ‘Nauts. The Mt. High Blue Deacons doubled-up the Juggernauts by the final score of 20-10, in a game that was never in doubt. The venerable Bishop’s old Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) scored a big vict’ry in Week 11, and gave the ‘Nauts their 8th loss of the 2021 season, knocking Allyson out of the BDCS and into the BMS with still four weeks to go in the BDFL’s regular season.

*Old audio recordings were once-upon-a-time captured on vinyl. To play or hear the audio recordings on the vinyl discs, they had to spin – usually at 33, or 45, or sometimes 78 RPM, revolutions per minute. A needle or pointed device of some sort, had to actually come in contact with the vinyl to produce a sound. A broken record would sometimes produce the same sound over-and-over again. Hence the term, “that sounds like a broken record.”  

Enough of the Bad – Here’s Some Good:

Other than the Commissioner’s 80, The Bulletin has thus far focused on the “bad” in Week 11. So, here’s some from the “good” department. Actually, good for the Gamblers and bad for the Mean Machine this past weekend in the BDFL. The Dixie Mafia rolled to one of its finest efforts of the season. The Gulf Coast Gamblers scored 49-points and slaughtered the Fairfield PowerSleds in A.W.-fashion, 49-10. Mad Jack Barnes’ team did not show up ready to play and they got run off of their gravel-infested home field for the first time in years. Mad will have Big John join him this week, and you can bet the metal heads will be ready to run the next time they take the field. On the winning side, the Gamblers served notice that they could be a team to be contended with in 2021 in the BDFL.  

Biocats Beat Barry:

The Bulletin won’t say that “red tape” got in the way of the increasingly bureaucratic Bandits, but while Barry was crossing his T’s and dotting his I’s, and minding his P’s and Q’s, his BDFL team got out-flanked, out-foxed, and out-scored by the Western Hills Wildcats. It was a brilliant strategic decision by the Biocats, who bogged down the Altadena Bandits with administrative work, tax assessments, easements, abatements, and proverbial writs of habeas corpus. By the time their BDFL game hit the second half, the “James Gang,” had a big lead, and all they had to do after that was hold on for dear life. The final score from Five Points West: Wildcats 22 – Bandits 19.  

Freebirds Stop Sin Wagon:

Eleven points in Week 11 turned out to be a bad omen for the Southside Cheetahs in BDFL action. The Sin Wagon had been rolling along all season, until it this speed bump in the shape of the Fultondale Freebirds. Jamin’ Jaimie Hand’s team has led a “roller coaster” season thus far in 2021, but 28-points were more than enough to defeat the Cheetahs in Week 11. Butch still holds the best record in the BDFL, and the F’birds look to have an inside track to making yet another appearance in the Big Dance.  

Mayors Rally – Beat the Bullets by a TD:

The Benton Bullets have been downright awful this season. The Bullets dropped to the “edge of elimination,” in Week 11, by taking on their 7th loss of the season. But, on the bright side, the ol’ Bullerino scored above single-digits. In fact, the Bullets raced out to a 21-4 lead after the NFL noon games on Sunday. The Bullets had no one playing at 3pm, or Sunday Night, or in Monday Night Football. Meanwhile, after letting out enough line, the Magic City Mayors began to reel in the Bullets. The Cronies pulled close in the afternoon games and then dealt the death blow on Sunday Night, behind the QB with the lightning bolt on his helmet. Following the thunder clap, Mayor Arrington had escaped embarrassment by defeating the Bullets, 28-21.  

Week 11 the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

Meanwhile in the Junior League, the youngest Arrington continues to hold onto first place in the JrBDFL. In this past weekend’s action, Ethan Arrington’s team defeated Meredith Hand’s Benton Butterflies, 119-115. Apparently, this Arrington vs. Hand contest went a lot like the match-up of their dads with Meredith leading early, only to be overtaken in the 4th quarter by a cotton-picking Arrington. The outcomes for the other two Hand Kids of Benton were much better. Milton’s Lowndes County Labs scored a vict’ry over McCain Bergeron, 113 to 69, and Matthew Hand’s surging Selma Southpaws topped Walker Stephenson’s team by the final score of 150-93. Most of the Junior Leaguers are now enjoying their fall/Thanksgiving break, but, it’ll be short lived… the NFL returns to action with three games on Thanksgiving Day (all are scheduled after the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade).  From WKRP in Cincinnati - From the famous Thanksgiving Episode: “As God is my witness,” said Mr. Carlson, “I thought turkeys could fly.”  

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