The Bulletin

Edgar G. Robinson and Charlton Heston in the 1973 science-fiction classic Soylent Green

Grenadiers Roar into Round One at Top Seed:

The Big Daddy Championship Series (BDCS) has a “one day” hype period before the action gets under way. The Commissioner’s Mineral Springs Grenadiers are the Top Dogs, the Captain of the Ship, the Head Honcho as the regular season ends. In the last weekend of the regular season, the Grenadiers ripped a new one in the Jugtown Juggernauts 42-10. This one was over after the coin toss, as the Hand Grenades won the toss and elected to “kick @$$.” The game was as one-sided as Gardendale’s epic slaughters of Corner and Mortimer Jordan in the late 1970s. Now, The Commissioner turns his attention to a quick turnaround and the Big Dance. A.E.’s team is headed to the Big Mullet Series (BMS) as the bottom seed which translates to having the dead last point total in the BDFL in 2021.

Soylent Green is People – It’s People:

1970s science fiction movies hit home runs with 2001 A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes. However, there was also Soylent Green. It was a movie set in “after the bomb,” New York with over population and a lot of other scary government takeover stuff. It starred Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson (in his last movie before he passed away – spoiler alert! – he dies in this one, leading Heston – a policeman in a football helmet – not a lot unlike the Grand Daddy – to find the “secret” of Soylent Green.) It was a regular in the late-night circuit for the teenagers to watch. The Commissioner’s team has been called Soylent Green, and they could be deadly in the BDCS, or they could be eaten by others in Round One.  

Mayors Ride Wave into BDCS:

The Magic City Mayors will be the Number Two Seed in the Big Dance and the Old Cronies will enter the post-season on a high note. In Week 15, the Mayors ripped the Duncanville Armadillos 41-28. Alan Arrington’s team has been steady all year and could be a force in the BDCS. K.P. and Company will limp into the Big Mullet Series (BMS)wondering how a season with such promise slipped down the crapper down the stretch.  

Belrose leaves 24 on the Table and Still Wins:

Which is worse, leaving 24-points on the table to claim the Bonehead of the Week award, or losing to the Bonehead Team of the Week. The Bulletin is doing the analytics on that calculation. Stay tuned. In the last, prolonged week in the regular season, the Fieldstown Bellcows defeated the Western Hills Wildcats, 19-11. Belrose’s Heifers got the vict’ry despite leaving 24-points on the sidelines. The Mildcats will take the loss in stride and regroup as fast as possible as they advance to the BDCS as the Number Three Seed. The Big Mullet Series (BMS) will welcome the Bonehead Bellcows.  

Sleds Slop to Ignominious Defeat vs. Blue Deacons:

The Number Four Seed for the Big Dance is going to be the Fairfield PowerSleds. The Sleds apparently had a number of players “opt out” for their Week 15 match-up against the Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS). What resulted was a competitive – although hard-to-watch – game between the Sleds and Bishops. The final score gave Anthony Bishop a morale boosting vict’ry and the Mean Machine a lot of things to work on in the “one day off” before the BDCS begins.  

Cheetahs Limp to Finish of Regular Season with Loss to Bullets:

The Southside Cheetahs dominated in the regular season in the win-loss category. The last weekend however turned into one of those late 1970s science-fiction horrors. It wasn’t exactly like HAL taking over the space ship (2001), or an astronaut being taken prisoner by primates (Planet of the Apes), but it was still pretty bad for the Sin Wagon. Butch Neal’s team scored a grand total of four (4) points, and they lost to the Benton Bullets 16-4. The Cheetahs are headed to the BDCS and the Bullets will battle with the BDFL’s lower feeders in the Big Mullet Series (BMS).  

Sloths Eliminated from Big Dance in Epic “L” to Gamblers:

In another match-up of one team going to the BDCS and one team headed to the BMS, the Sloth Monsters stunk it up against the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Mukes’ team lost to The Real Deal Breal 25-3. But, unlike the previous two write ups (see above), the Gamblers with the win will take some momentum into the Big Dance. The Three-Toed Tree Dwellers will slink on their bellies into the BMS. However, in the clutches of the Sloths – in their hands without thumbs – will be the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award, and a lost opportunity to make the league's "Elite 8" championship bracket due to too many regular season losses.

Big Mullet Awaits Dogs as Freebirds Fly:

The Helmet O’ Silver another name for the coveted Grand Daddy Trophy is still a possibility for the Fultondale Freebirds. Hime Hand’s season has been like a roller coaster at the Miracle Strip in Panama City Beach (PCB). It has featured a lot of ups and downs and made a lot of noise with a lot of teenagers in line looking on at the excitement. With a tremendous amount to play for in the final week of the season, Ol’ Bocephus’ team came through with a clutch (is slipping) performance against the Brookside Dogs. “Good Night,” yelled Jaimie as he finally put away Mark’s Mutts, 24-16, with a second-half comeback. The Dogs will try their best in the Big Mullet Series (BMS) as the memory of the storied 2019 season fades as fast at LSU’s fluke of a 2019 season. The Bulletin did not call Dog’s lone championship a fluke. The publication just compared it to LSWho’s improbable run followed by two years of horror that could be found in one of those CBS late night science-fiction movies.

Movin’ on Up – Blitz Holds Off Bandits 19-14:

Introducing the #7 seeds for the BDCS and the BMS: the Druid City Blitz in the Big Dance and the Altadena Bandits to the Big Mullet Series. The results from the last weekend of the regular season kind of mirrored the events to come and reflected on the past of the 2021 season thus far as the Blitz won and the Bandits lost. Jerry Fritz’s Gritz Blitz will try its luck in the Big Dance, while Barry will sulk to the Gulf Coast to try and win a game, or two, in the BMS.  

Meanwhile in the JrBDFL:

The playoffs are already underway in the Junior League. In the Semi-Finals, Ethan Arrington is matched up against Hayden Roberts (who is going to the Cotton Bowl with the Hands of Benton) and Matthew Hand is taking on the IronLegs led by Morgan Academy and AISA honorable mention place kicker Wade Mason. In the JrBDFL, each round of the playoffs is a two-week process. So, no winners and/or losers have emerged after Week 15. The other 8 players in the league are matched up in consolation BDFL-like Mullet Series to play out the string.

W1TB  W2TB  W3TB  W4TB  W5TB  W6TB  W7TB  W8TB  W9TB  W10TB  W11TB  W12TB  W13TB  W14TB  W15TB