The Bulletin

While millions listened on WALX-FM, Matthew Hand (56) elected to “kick @$$” after winning the coin toss prior to a first round AISA playoff match-up between Morgan Academy and Glenwood

"Bet high and sleep in the streets"

Cheetahs Win Again – Poke Past PowerSleds:

The team that everyone in the BDFL is continuing to look up to in the win/loss column is the Southside Cheetahs. How do they do it week in and week out? A full investigation may soon be underway. The Sin Wagon just manages to roll to vict’ry after vict’ry despite an average point total. In fact, Butch’s team has a total that is last in the Gray Beard Division, but a sizzling 9-1 record, that is by far the best in the Big Daddy Football League. Just to illustrate that the Cheetahs are carrying a “rabbit’s foot,” or a “four leaf clover” in their khaki’s front pocket, The Bulletin gives this report for Week Ten...The Cheetahs scored 14-points. That total would have lost to all but three BDFL teams this past weekend. The Cheetahs were matched up with a pretty good team – the Fairfield PowerSleds. But, the “Mean Machine” only scored 13-points, so the Sin Wagon was able to roll to another vict’ry. “Butch must be living right,” said an impartial fantasy football insider.  

Another One-point Game – Bandits Edge ‘Dillos:

Now, in what was probably the best game of Week Ten in the BDFL, the Bandits and Armadillos fought to the finish somewhere in Texas. The Bulletin received reports of the game being played everywhere from the Panthers High School Stadium in Duncanville, to DeSoto, to Plano, and even the old Astrodome. At any rate, it was a back-and-forth barn burner between K.P.’s ‘Dillos and Old Barry’s Trans Ams. The fiercely contested game came down to the wire in the 4th quarter, before the Bandits emerged with a narrow, 32-31 vict’ry on the road. “I’ll celebrate with some Lone Star,” said Barry. “It’s imported from Texas.”  

Blitz Escapes – Nips Dogs in OT:

The Bulletin started out with a pair of one-point games in this week’s edition. Now, the award-winning publication turns its attention, and its Miz-Lou “iso-light,” on a game even closer than that. “Closer than a one-point game,” said a bystander. “Man, you must be crazy.” Well, the contest in Week Ten between the Druid City Blitz and the Brookside Dogs ended in a tie, 24-24. (There was also the first tie of the season in the NFL between the Steelers and the Lions.) However, dead-locks in the BDFL get resolved with a new, complicated, overtime procedure. It involves number of roster spots that actually scored that week (at least in the first tiebreaker). In this incident, the Blitz came away with the win against the Dogs.  

Another Close One – Commissioner Beats Bellcows:

In a week with no A.W.’s in the BDFL, there were a lot of close games. The Bulletin has mentioned the two, one-point games, and the OT contest. The next closest game in Week Ten was a match-up between the Fieldstown Bellcows and the Mineral Springs Grenadiers. It was played on a neutral site in Jew Hollow, actually on the City of Gardendale soccer fields. The Commissioner allegedly loaded up on his team, taking the 2.5 points, with a nearby bookie not named ‘Naut. And lo and behold, Old Iron’s team covered the spread and pulled out a 3-point vict’ry, 18-15 over Belrose and his bumbling Bell Head Heifers. Following the post-game hand shakes and local media interviews, both of the teams went to the Old House on Hand Lane and “decompressed” with a compressed game of pocket billiards.  

Sloths Win Again – Slip Past Cronies:

The Mayors were not so fortunate with the bookies in Week Ten. Alan A. decided to “bet on himself,” this past weekend in BDFL action, giving up 3.5-points to the Sloths. But, the Sloths turned the tables and defeated the Cronies by the final score of 22-19. It was another 3-point, field goal type finish, but Mukes not only covered the spread as the underdog, but actually won the game. The defeat was a tough pill to swallow for the Mayors, but one (had they lost) that would have been relatively easy for the Three Toed Tree Dwellers to choke down, especially with their experience of swallowing worm pill from the home of Mouse & Bucket Burkett.  

Freebirds Comeback vs. Gamblers – Deal Breal a Defeat:

Gambling and playing the spread and all of the “side bets,” that are associated with pro sports is “old news,” to the rank and file in the BDFL. That is especially true with the “Real Deal’s” team who are actually named the Gulf Coast Gamblers. However, in this Fantasy Football league, everyone knows a thing or two about parlays, teasers, and trifecta’s. The Gamblers learned this lesson the hard way in Week Ten, when the Fabulous Fultondale Freebirds flew into Biloxi/Gulfport, and dealt a devastating defeat to Kenny B. & Company. The final score read: F’Bird 18 – Gamblers 14. But, it was old Bocephus who left the Redneck Rivera with a bag of cash – or it could’ve been a shoebox.  

Wildcats Win – Knock Off the ‘Nauts in Jugtown:

The Western Hills Wildcats did something in Week Ten that their old, faithful Fairfield Tigers could not accomplish in the 1980’s. The Cats went into Gardendale, and came away with a vict’ry at Ed Bruce Field at Rocket Driver Stadium. It was easier than expected for the “James Gang,” as the Jugtown Juggernauts didn’t put up much of a fight, only scoring 12-points in the loss.  

Bullet Loses Again – Bishops Bash Bullerino:

The BDFL front office is seriously considering naming the Toilet Seat award after the Bullets, who continue to lose and to score the least amount of points in the league. “Good,” said Bullet. “I hope they name it after my team, then that will jinx us into winning, because nothing else is going to help.” Chances are that the name of the hapless weekly trophy will not change names, but like Bear Bryant and Al Davis before him, Bullet has pushed the envelope so much in 27-BDFL seasons, that multiple changes have been made to counter his ingenuity. Nothing the Benton Bullets did in Week Ten could counter the Hayden District Bishop Squad, who won the toss, and then elected to “kick @$$,” against the Blanks.  

Week Nine the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

Meanwhile in the Junior League, the teenagers were playing it “close to the vest,” in Week Ten and managed to keep most of their results away from social media, and The Bulletin staff, and that’s just fine with The Bulletin staff, writers, editors, and copy boys, not to mention the folks in the mail room.

W1TB  W2TB  W3TB  W4TB  W5TB  W6TB  W7TB  W8TB  W9TB  W10TB