Week 13 2018: Separating the contenders from the pretenders...

Cheetahs Snatch Vict’ry from Jaws of Defeat/Sleds:

The teams with the best two overall points totals in the BDFL squared-off in Week 13 of the season under the heavy smoke of the Fairfield twilight. The Southside Cheetahs traveled west to face the suddenly “snake bitten” Fairfield PowerSleds in a matchup of what could be the Top Two Seeds in the Big Daddy Championship Series (assuming the Mean Machine can claw its way to .500 – and that’s the main gist of this write-up). For the second straight week, the Sleds lost on Monday Night, and for the second consecutive week, the Sleds lost by one point, and now with one week to go in the regular season, the Sleds sit at 6-7, one game under BDCS elimination under… drum roll please… the dreaded Bullet Rule. The Southside Cheetahs rallied on MNF with ageless Adrian Peterson rambling for a 90-yard TD to give the Sin Wagon 12-points, and a one-point win over Mad Jack & Company, 43-42. “Oh, the humanity,” said Less Nessman from WKRP (in Cincinnati) in town to cover the game for the Buckeye Newshawk Bulletin. So, now Jack needs a “W” in Week 14, or he’ll have to pack up his 2nd overall point total, and move on to the Big Mullet Series.

Freebirds Rally on Monday Night:

The Benton Bullets look to be headed straight to the Big Mullet Series, but teams keep flirtin’ with the Bullet Rule, potentially leaving space in the Top 8, if games fall the right way on the last week of the BDFL regular season, next week. In the meantime, the Bullets and his bro – Jammin’ Jaimie Hand – ventured into MNF in a 16-16 tie. However, the Bullets had to players playing, so they were in a baggin’ (begging) position. The Black Creek Freebirds had no trouble scoring 8 points on Monday Night, and broke open a close game, defeating the Bullets, 24-16. These two could easily be re-united in the loser’s bracket (BMS). The F’birds are already guaranteed a spot there, and the Bullets would need a miracle and a half to not get there.

Grenadiers Bite Dogs – 1-Point Short (who said that) of A.W.:

The Mineral Springs Grenadiers are also already relegated to the Big Mullet Series (see: Bullet Rule), but they are roaring down the stretch. The Commish dominated the Dogs in Week 13, coming away with a 20-point vict’ry, 46-26, which was 1-point short of an A.W. Just for the record, let it be recorded that The Bulletin did NOT call Dog short. The publication only mentions that his TEAM – the Brookside Dogs – came up short in this last particular game. The Bulletin and its “crack staff” is well aware of the vertically challenged folks in the BDFL (Dog, K.P., Jerry James) and would never do anything to offend them.

Bishop Squad Bombs – Chokes Against Dorians:

It also wasn’t an A.W. when the Altadena Dorians defeated the Mt. High Blue Deacons. It only felt like it. Bishop’s Heavy Duty Bishop Squad couldn’t do anything this past weekend and were subsequently destroyed 19-8 by the Fightin’ Stephenson’s. At least the Bishops didn’t leave empty-handed. For their performance in Week 13, the Blue Deacons were awarded the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak” award. The League Office also originally presented Bishop with the “Bonehead” of the week honor, but we all know that this week, that award goes to Kirby Smart. In fact, the award was called the Dan Reeves (who played at UGa, before a long NFL playing and coaching career) Bonehead award for awhile. But now, it will be known as the “Kirby Smart Bonehead of the Week” award. Kirby faked a punt in a tie game, at midfield, with 3:00 to go, against a first-string defense, in a ‘punt safe’ formation, with an obvious back-up QB in the game at the up-back position.

Juggernauts Jump on Gamblers – Hold on for 15-12 Vict’ry:

The Jugtown Juggernauts have been pretty bad in 2018. But, just when you think they’re gonna roll over and play dead, they come out firing on all cylinders. A.E.’s team jumped out early against the Gulf Coast Gamblers this past weekend and then held on for dear life down the stretch, to notch a 15-12 vict’ry in their lipstick case. These two could definitely see each other again in the post-season (in the Big Mullet Series, of course).

Armadillos Defeat Sloths in Slow Paced Action:

Two of the most iconic and fiercesome creatures to ever crawl up in a protective ball or hang from a high limb without any thumbs met in Week 13 in the BDFL. Both animals were courageous and bold in this wild jungle match-up. Each team battled in an old-fashioned Mutual of Omaha, Sunday Night, 1970s Series, struggle for survival using their instincts and predator traits to strive for vict’ry. In the end, the Duncanville Armadillos upset the Shades Creek Sloth Monsters by a touchdown, 29-22.

Wildcats Maul Mayors:

In another game with a similar score, the Western Hills Wildcats defeated the Magic City Mayors, 29-24. The defending champion Wildcats have played well this season, and will be in a good position to defend their title when the BDCS kicks off in two weeks. The “James Gang” is a virtual lock to win the Yellow Hammer Division and they’ll be a force to be reckoned with in the post-season. As for the Mayors, the loss drops them to 6-7, and they need a “W” in Week 14 to be able to be considered for the BDCS.

Woosiers Blast Blitz:

The Smoke Riser Woosiers dominated from wire-to-wire to blast the Druid City Blitz on Sunday afternoon at Kentuck Park. The Fritz Gritz Blitz has had troubles all season scoring points, playing defense, and just finding 11-guys who want to go out there on the gridiron and lay it all on the line. The Woo Crew lead what is a weak Red Neck Division this season, and are thrilled to get the win in Week 13, which puts them at 7-6 on the season and comfortably above the Bullet Rule to make it into the BDCS.

WEEK 13 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Junior League, the playoffs are set. Even though they lost in the last game of the regular season, the Selma Southpaws earned the number one seed, and will have a BYE in Round One. The other teams with a first round by include the Winston County Walkers, Preserve Onion Turtles, and the Canton Bulldog Woofers. The teams that finished 5th thru 12th are in the bracket, and the 13th and 14th place teams have been eliminated.

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