Week 9 2018: The Alt. Rock So. Rumble edition:

Do you remember this?

Between 1985 and 1995 there was a rumble. Athens, Ga. gets a lot of notoriety, but this was more widespread across the south from Texas into Memphis down to Birmingham along the Gulf Coast, hitting in Georgia and the Carolinas and down about half way through Florida. It was there. It was gone. But, it never died completely. Especially in the late ‘80s and early 90’s you could hear it. It was alternative rock with a Southern rumble. Too many bands to name from college campuses to honky tonks to old juke joints to even late night TV. Drivin’ n’ Cryin’ and Sister Hazel to Jason & the Scorchers, and Webb Wilder, and the Black Crowes, and Dreams So Real, the Connell’s, Klass, and Guadalcanal Diary. It was Southern, but it wasn’t “Southern Rock.” It was an alternative to hair bands and the growing Grunge, which spread just as quickly from the Pacific Northwest. But, it wasn’t punk or even alternative. It was some good stuff. You can find a lot of it on YouTube and online, just google some of the names above and it’ll lead you down that road. “So, I went down to the parking lot to hang around with all my friends. I’d roam the streets ‘til dawn breaks again.”

Cheetahs flex muscles, and other body parts, in A.W. of Sloths:

Week Nine in the BDFL consisted of some really close games, and some real blowouts. One of those blowouts, happened in Southside as the Sin Wagon rolled all over the Sloths in a game that was never close. The Southside Cheetahs roared out of the gate on Thursday Night and didn’t slow down until Monday Night Football. One observer described it this way, “The Cheetahs whipped the Sloths, to, from, and like a pulp.” Grammar aside, the Three Toed Tree Dwellers were no match for Butch’s felines on this particular weekend. The Sin Wagon has now rolled to an overall record of 8-1, with a semi-comfortable lead in the Grey Beard Division just a few weeks before the official stretch run toward the playoffs.

PowerSleds open up a can on the unsuspecting Bullets:

The PowerSleds are the only reason that the Cheetahs lead in the Grey Beard Division is just semi-comfortable. That’s because the Mean Machine is a close 2^nd or 3^rd in overall points in the BDFL, and pushing the Sin Wagon in the division. In Week Nine, Mad Jack’s Metal Heads opened up a can of whoop-@$$ on the Benton Bullets. It would have qualified as an A.W., but the old Bullerino didn’t quit after a rough Sunday, and scored just enough on Monday Night Football to avoid the A.W. The Sleds are looking strong in 2018. Their vict’ry moves them to 6-3 on the season and a proverbial lock to reach the Big Daddy Championship Series.

Bishop blows out the Brookside Dogs:

In another game that wasn’t close in the first weekend of November in the BDFL was the match-up featuring Brookside and Blount County. Representing Blount County was the resurgent Mt. High Blue Deacons. They also moved to 6-3 on the season and in good shape for the BDCS after routing the Dogs in Week Nine. Mark’s Mutts were dug in on the banks of the Five Mile Creek, but did not have the fire-power to hang with the Heavy Duty Bishop Squad, who can really throw the lead on occasion. Now, a lot of times, Bishop doesn’t always shoot straight, but when he does, his 30-ought-six shells and Blount County un-registered Buck Shot, can really do some damage.

Wildcats win a wild one over the Woosiers:

Speaking of throwing lead, the Western Hills Wildcats and the Smoke Rise Woosiers smoked up Five Points West this weekend. This one was a score-a-thon. It kinda looked like a Big 12 game. There was little or no defense played by the James Gang or the Woo Crew. It was an epic shootout. Both Jerry J. and Tommy T. entered the week with identical records (4-4), and decent overall point totals, but in danger of falling under the .500 mark and flirtin’ with the disaster known as the Bullet Rule. The Wildcats finally pulled ahead late Sunday and then held on through the action on Monday Night to come up with a 58-42 vict’ry, and nudge a game over .500.

Armadillos waddle past Juggernauts:

It’s been a well-chronicled rough year for the Jugtown Juggernauts. Allyson’s team has been pretty bad this season, and things did not improve one iota in Week Nine. The ‘Nauts earned the Toilet Seat Team of the Week and were run out of the gym by the Duncanville Armadillos, 24-14. At this time, K.P. & Company will take any wins they can get, and this one was a pivotal one to move the Best Little Team in Texas to 5-4 on the season. Now, the post-season scene for the ‘Dillos is still a little cloudy, but they’ve got a decent chance to reach the BDCS. As for the Bra Burners, they’re already checking for reservations along the Gulf Coast for a nice place to stay during the Big Mullet Series.

Dorians double down on the Gamblers:

The expansion Altadena Dorians picked up a big win in Week Nine, by turning back the Gulf Coast Gamblers by a touchdown. The defeat moves the Dixie Mafia to 3-6 in what has been a “season to forget.” Kenny B. is supposed to “know when to hold ’em, and know when to fold ’em,” but this year he has bluffed when he should’ve folded and doubled-up when he should’ve shut up. His luck has been pretty bad too, and that never helps. Meanwhile, the Dorians who are in last place in the passive Green Horn Division, move to 5-4 on the season, and still “keep hope alive” of reaching the BDCS.

Mayors and Freebirds battle to the brink:

The Bulletin doesn’t know if this one is like Rocky I, Rocky II or Creed II. It seemed to be an all-out, 15-round, down to the wire punching match between teams that could only slap fight. It was however, evenly matched. The Magic City Mayors bobbed and weaved and the Fultondale Freebirds feigned and back-pedaled. The Cronies then moved in and clinched, but wouldn’t punch. The Black Creek former Wooden Warriors clutched and grabbed, but would not counterpunch. The rounds came and went with the same type of lackadaisical effort until the final bell sounded. Both Alan and Jaimie shouted “Adrian!” at the end of the action, and their “cut men,” trainers, and entourages rushed into the ring at Boutwell Auditorium. The judges added up the points and gave the final, official scorecard to the ring announcer, who announced the split decision. “The winner is the Magic City Mayors, 16-15.”

Close, but no cigar:

Before stuffed animals and worthless trinkets were handed out at State Fairs and County Fairs and carnivals… those winning prizes at fairs and carnivals in the mid 1900’s were given cigars. It was a common prize at a fair or carnival. So, when the participant would fail at the game or contest, the carnival / fair / operator would say, “Close, but no cigar.” Since the mid-20th Century, the phrase has become part of Americana. It’s a phrase that a lot of people use, and a lot of people have a pretty good idea of what it means, but have absolutely no idea where it came from. So, who gets the “close but no cigar,” award in Week Nine in the BDFL? It’s the Druid City Blitz, who lost a “close” one to the Mineral Springs Grenadiers. The game was tied 15-15 going into Monday Night Football, but the Commish pulled off the upset, and for Jerry and his Gritz Blitz it was “close… but, no cigar.”

WEEK NINE in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Jr. BDFL, the Selma Southpaws continue to lead the way in 2018. The “Lefty’s from Lowndes” have rolled out big wins – and big point totals all season long, and lead the Total Points Standings by a significant margin, more than midway through the season. In Week Nine, Matthew Hand defeated his sister, the Benton Butterflies, in a game that was never close. Below is a look at this week’s final scores and the updated standings in the always competitive and never controversial JrBDFL.