Week 12 2018: Tooting your own horn...

Defending Champs Roar to Another Win:

A perennial laughing stock in the BDFL, the Western Hills Wildcats have turned the tables in the last two years. With the proposed 4-wideout set, and the Miller Lite Guide to the Draft, the “James Gang” were grouped in with the Fightin’ Slovaks at the bottom of the BDFL barrel for years. In fact, the team was actually left out of the league for a year for reasons that still aren’t exactly clear. However, the BioCats worked their way back into the good grace$ of The Commissioner, and then shocked the Fantasy Football World, with a Championship last season. This year, J.J. leads the Yellow Hammer Division and is a virtual lock to reach the Big Daddy Championship Series. In Week 12, the Wildcats dumped the Duncanville Armadillos, 43-39. The loss drops K.P. & Company to 6-6 on the season, with plans to go to Atlanta and re-group for the stretch run in the BDFL.

Woosiers Win – Eliminate Freebirds from Big Dance:

It’s been an up-and-down season for the Smoke Rise Woosiers. Through twelve weeks, the Woo Crew has finally hit the fair-to-middlin’ mark of 6-6. So, Tommy T. looks a lot like “Even Steven.” The Black Crick Freebirds – on the other “hand” – are Steven’s red headed stepchild in this season’s playoff scenario. Jammin’ Jaimie Hand has had trouble all year with vict’ries, or the lack thereof, while scoring a decent amount of points. However, Week 12 was the end of the line for any potential playoff hopes in the Big Daddy Championship Series for the former Wooden Warriors. The F’birds loss to the Woosiers puts them permanently under the Bullet Rule, and thus, on their way to the Big Mullet Series at the end of the regular season.

Bullets Dominate Dorians – Score Epic A.W., 43-19:

The Benton Bullets played host to the Altadena Dorians over the Thanksgiving holidays along the scenic Alabama River in Lowndes County. In the extreme Northwest corner of the county, less than a mile from the Dallas County line (across Old Town Creek), Dallas County line – the border – not the failed Richard Scrushy Band, and less than a half-mile from the Autauga County line (across the river). Geography lesson aside, the Bullets took advantage of the Turkey Day Holiday to dominate the Dorians in all three phases of the game. The old Bullerino dealt the expansion franchise an embarrassing defeat the likes of which they may not be able to recover from except for maybe a party at Bucket’s old house or a long counseling session outside the Old Gardendale Burger King or Big Al’s. Meanwhile, the Bullets captured an important 7th win of the season, but still need a lot of help in the next two weeks to make it to the BDCS.

Bishop Squad Beats Blitz, 21-14:

In a match-up of teams going in opposite directions, the Mt. High Blue Deacons improved to 7-5 on the season by defeating the Druid City Blitz, who fell to 5-7, and in danger of missing the Big Dance. The Heavy Duty Bishop Squad had very little trouble with the Blitz, throwing slants and screens, and even hitting some deep throws. Anthony’s Boys from Blount County, still need some assistance to reach the BDCS, but they’re not on the “brink of elimination.” That would be Fritz Gritz Blitz, which is sliding slowly toward the abyss. It doesn’t help Fritz’ coaching hot seat situation, that he started the wrong kicker (Bonehead Award), and was recognized with the “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” award.

Juggernauts Jump on Mayors for Unlikely Upset:

The Jugtown Juggernauts have been pretty bad in 2018. But, just when you think you have this league figured out, something like this comes up and throws you for a loop. With absolutely nothing to gain (except maybe pride), the ‘Nauts came out firing on all cylinders in Week 12, and upset the Magic City Mayors, 32-18. The loss could be costly for the Cronies as they were trying to overcome Election Day woes, and unsubstantiated recounts to make the BDCS. As it stands now, the Mayors have some work to do – and work is just something they are not very good at these days. Meanwhile, A.E. is celebrating the upset vict’ry and trying to close strong.

Sloths Move to 7-5 by Outscoring Gamblers:

The Shades Creek Sloth Monsters are breathing a little easier these days. Mukes’ Three Toed Tree Dwellers picked up a big win over the weekend by outscoring the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 29-23. The Dixie Mafia entered Week 12 having been previously eliminated from the BDCS under the Bullet Rule. The Gamblers put up a fight, but were no match for Mukes in a four-quarter game. Notified that all games are four quarters in length, Kenny B. responded, “whatever.” The win guarantees the Sloths a .500 or better record for the regular season, and puts them in a pretty good spot to be able to “hang on” to a playoff spot, even with no plausible thumbs.

Dogs Rally on Monday Night:

The lowly Brookside Dogs trailed the four-time BDFL champion Southside Cheetahs, 15-6, going into Monday Night Football’s match-up between the Texans and Titans. “T for Texas, T for Tennessee,” read one of the signs at the game, along with “T for Thelma, the girl who made a wreck outta me.” That’s got nothing to do with the NFL or the BDFL, but it was an observation made by The Bulletin staff at the game. They’ve since been reprimanded. Back to the game, on Monday Night, the Dogs rallied. Mark’s Mutts scored 25-points on MNF to pull off the major upset of the Cheetahs, 31-15, and “keep hope alive,” to possibly end their 23-year losing streak in the BDFL.

Sleds Slip to Grenadiers on Monday Night, 34-33:

The Fairfield PowerSleds held a two point lead going into Monday Night Football, and managed to choke. The Mean Machine dumped Gatorade on Jack Slovensky on Sunday, but forgot that the Mineral Springs Grenadiers had one last rock in their slingshot pouch to fire on Monday Night. The Commish hit the spot on MNF, came up with three crucial points to notch a 34-33 vict’ry over the Sleds. The Commissioner’s team is not eligible for the BDCS under the Bullet Rule, but they still are still fighting and bringing legitimacy to the BDFL schedule and stretch run politics. The loss inches the Sleds 6-6 on the season, and puts them in a position where they still have to win another game to advance to the BDCS at the end of the BDFL regular season, which comes after Week 14.

WEEK 12 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Junior League, the Winston County Walkers scored 62-points in their vict’ry over the Birmingham Barn Burners sending each team in a different direction. The win moves the Walkers to 2nd in the overall points standings, while the Barn Burners fall to 13th and in serious danger of missing the playoffs. Only one week remains in the JrBDFL regular season, before the Top 4 teams get a BYE in Round 1, and the bottom two (13th & 14th place) are eliminated from the post-season. Below are the scores and standings in the JrBDFL.