![]() ![]() The Bulletin |
TheBDFL.com - The official internet site of the Big Daddy Football League - 2018 |
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The Bulletin
From underneath a rock in Media Void Living under a rock - To be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events.
Media Void - A fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information. Where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics.
Week 5 2018: "I am not a crook"...
Shades Creek Shakes with Sloths
Slaughter: Michael Hewitt Dismukes has been
exonerated. All the false accusations about nails, and light bulbs, and
aluminum cans, and watermelons have been laid to rest. It took until
2018, for evidence to surface regarding claims made by certain “legal
entities” on incidents that allegedly occurred more than 30-years ago.
All of the revelations from so-called eye-witnesses came out following
an epic A.W. on the mud-spangled banks of Shades Creek on Sunday
afternoon following a 47-19 rout by Mukes’ Sloth Monsters over the
Altadena Dorians. It’s being called the Shades Creek Slaughter. The
up-start Dorians waltzed into the game in Week Five feeling good about
their expansion franchise, and they crawled outta the creek with
absolutely no dignity following the complete and total domination by the
Three Toed Tree Dwellers. Commissioner Falls to 0-5 with Loss to
Bullets: The Mineral Springs Grenadiers decided to
“make wholesale changes, and make two trades totaling five new players,”
before Week Five action in the BDFL. The Commissioner thought this would
help spur his team to vict’ry after a woeful 0-4 start. The Grenadiers
did play a little better – wearing name tags to identify themselves to
their new teammates – but the experiment failed when they reached
Benton, Ala. (pop. 51). The Benton Bullets turned away the Commish and
his newbies 25-22 in a relatively close game between blood relatives.
So, what’s next for old Iron Hand? Nobody really knows, his team just
probably needs to match-up against some easier competition. Meanwhile,
after their own 0-2 start, the Benton Bullets have now won three
straight, and were spotted by onlookers crossing the Alabama River,
whistling zippity-do-da all the live long day – or at least – all Sunday
afternoon. Nauts Also Remain Winless After Blowout
Loss to the Blitz: The Jugtown Juggernauts plummeted to 0-5
on the 2018 season with a 36-8 A.W. at the behest of the Druid City
Blitz in Week Five. The ‘Nauts are “naut” very good this season, and it
is beginning to show. Kind of just the opposite of Allyson’s beloved
Crimson Tide, her team seems to be out of every game by late in the 2nd
Quarter. It’s getting pretty bad for A.E., but at least she’s got her
comfy, shady, mezzanine, season ticket seats at the Bama games for the
foreseeable future. As for da Blitz, Jerry Fritz is starting to puff out
his chest and believe that his team actually might have a chance this
season of escaping the Null Set Club. Freebirds Rock to First Win of 2018 with
A.W. over Sleds: Jammin’ Jaimie Hand avoided an 0-5 start
with a huge vict’ry over the Fairfield PowerSleds, 46-23. Old Kawliga
(we can’t call him a Van Zant yet), has a pretty decent team this
season, and they’ve been able to score some points, they just hadn’t
been able to notch a “W” until Week Five, when they just happened to
notch an “A.W.” The Freebirds jumped on the Fairfield PowerSleds like
David Lee Roth jumping into a mosh pit of Van Halen fans. The Mean
Machine had no answer to the “old time rock and roll,” the Freebirds
were hitting them with on Sunday afternoon, and after a couple of tunes
old Mad Jack just put his fingers in his years, and waited for the music
to end. Armadillos Put A.W. on Blue Deacons,
46-15: Anthony and his Heavy Duty Bishop Squad
(HDBS) was notified first thing Tuesday morning by U.S. certified mail
that they had officially been given an “A.W.” by the Duncanville
Armadillos. Bishop and his high hat wearing Mt. High Blue Deacons were
devastated. He knew he’d been to Texas. He knew he’d seen a football
game. Heck, he even stopped on the way home and helped some stranded
motorist. What he was drawing a complete blank on was that his rag-tag
BDFL team had been destroyed and embarrassed by the “little ol’ team
from Texas,” known as the Duncanville Armadillos. K.P. & Company were
“walking on air,” after the win, flying high and feeling mean, feeling
almost 5’8”. Woosiers Bounce Back by Beating the
Gamblers: After a devastating loss in Week 4, the
Woo Crew returned to the drawing board prior to Week Five action. The
“skull sessions” with Ed Bruce’s old chalkboard and projector paid
immediate dividends for the Smoke Riders in the Sky. The Woo Crew
rebounded with a dominating 27-9 win over the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Rumor
has it that the Blount County yellow school bus that carried the
Woosiers from the Gulf Coast back to Smoke Rise stopped at every
Starbucks on the way home to celebrate the vict’ry that was NOT an A.W.,
but that “felt” like an A.W. Cheetahs Shoot Down Mayors 27-24: The Southside Cheetahs and the Magic City
Mayors staged a shootout “O.K. Corral” style this past weekend in
Birmingham. “I’m your huckleberry,” said Butch to Alan just before
firing the final shot. The Bulletin believes that the Cheetahs
were the “Earp Brothers,” (Wyatt Earp and his brothers Morgan and
Virgil), while the Mayors were stuck with the historical losers known as
the Clanton’s. Butch earned the vict’ry and A.A. earned another
“Bonehead of the Week,” award. The Cronies started the wrong defense,
costing them 6-points, which would have turned a 3-point defeat into a
3-point win. Cats 27 - Dogs 25: In the grand finale to Week Five in the
BDFL, the Western Hills Wildcats and the Brookside Dogs staged a
back-and-fourth, no holds barred, 15-round, Rocky Balboa vs. Clubber
Lang / Apollo Creed, heavyweight bout for the ages. “I pity the fool,”
said Jerry. Dog countered with “pain.” And, the two teams traded punches
lasting from Thursday Night until Monday Night Football. When the final
bell rang, and the rink was covered with boxers, managers, cut men,
media moguls, entourage for both fighters, and groupies… the
announcement came of a split decision… by the winner… and still
champion… Western Hills Wildcats. WEEK 5 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all
about the kids.” Meanwhile, over in the JrBDFL, the Benton
Butterflies remain the only “undefeated” team in a league where the
win-loss records mean absolutely nothing, except for a potential
tie-breaker at the end of the season. However, there is pride involved
and bragging rights, and other stuff to give the JrBDFL some week-in and
week-out drama. Where it counts most – Overall Points – there is a new
leader. The Preserve Onion Turtles have surged to the top. They now lead
the Selma Southpaws by 5-points for the top position after 5-weeks.
Below are the Week Five scores and the updated standings. WEEK FIVE SCORES:
WEEK FIVE STANDINGS:
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