Season Begins with a Big Bang:

In the highest scoring opener in NFL hist’ry, the Bucs beat the Saints, 48-40, in the Superdome. Meanwhile, in one of the highest scoring openers in the BDFL, the Fairfield PowerSleds outscored the Sloth Monsters 57-49. Mad Jack may have been the most pissed off (for some unknown reason) at the Miller Genuine Draft in August, and his team played with a chip on its shoulder, Thursday Night, Sunday, and Monday Night. The Mean Machine scored at will against the aging Three Toed Tree Dwellers, who put up some points of their own. In fact, the Son of Slim would have defeated ALL of the other teams in the BDFL in Week One. So, obviously, Mukes is going to put in a Cliff/Ted “official protest” in the league office in regards to the Dreaded Schedule Maker (DSM).

Mayors Win Overtime Thriller Against the Blue Deacons:

The Magic City Mayors and the Heavy Duty Bishop Squad (HDBS) battled longer than the rain and lightning delays at the Dolphins-Titans game at Hard Rock Stadium in South Florida. The Cronies and the Blue Deacons slugged it out all throughout the opening weekend in the NFL. When the scoreboard clock officially struck 00:00 at the Old Gray Lady (Legion Field), it read 31-31, just under The Birmingham News – Birmingham Post-Herald advertisements. Well, if you’ve been associated with the BDFL for any length of time, you know that the “tie goes to the cronie.” And, in this league, there is no bigger cronie (of the Commissioner) than the Mayor. So, A.A. gets the win over A.B. Get used to it Mr. Bishop… you can’t fight City Hall, and you can’t fight the Commissioner.

Commissioner Blasted by the Woo Crew:

Speaking of the Commissioner, Old Iron Hand picked up lots of brownie points with the Rank & File and earned some much-needed negotiating power with the BDFL-PA, by giving everyone T-Shirts at the draft. Then the season started and the Commissioner’s team – the Mineral Springs Grenadiers – were routed by the Smoke Rise Woosiers, 42-23. Tommy T., who practically always waits to peak at the end of the season, just could not pass up the opportunity to dominate the Grenadiers in Week One. At least for Iron’s waning pride, it was not an A.W.

A.W. Number One – Dogs Rip ‘Nauts:

Another year, and another chance for the Brookside Dogs to erase 23-years of futility in the BDFL. Hope springs eternal in the Dog House as a new BDFL season begins. Mr. Mark Burr has a chance to clean the slate and start all over again with a draft that he hopes will bring him that elusive championship, and remove him from the embarrassment of being the oldest living member of the Null Set Club. Well, in Week One of the season, Dog’s optimism was renewed as his Mutts stormed out and delivered an old-fashioned A.W. to the Jugtown Juggernauts, 30-8. Allyson should be disappointed in her team’s performance, and quite frankly, she is.

A.W. Number Two – Cheetahs Claw Dixie Mafia:

Everybody knew it was a bad idea for the Dixie Mafia to bring their game north. The Gulf Coast Gamblers may still hold some sway along the Red Neck Rivera, but they still can’t stand on the porch with any of the Maldonado’s, Marshall’s, Gorman’s, or Gambino’s that frequent Valley Avenue and run the smoothest operation in the biggest football betting area east of Las Vegas. Once the Week One, action started the Southside Cheetahs demonstrated why they are a force to be reckoned with in the BDFL, as they put an A.W. on the Gamblers, 38-12.

Freebirds Shot Down Like Skeet by BioCats:

The James Gang had to once again flee the Birmingham Metro Area prior to the 2018 BDFL season for reasons that are becoming more and more apparent. The Western Hills Roaming Nomads are seemingly trying to stay one step ahead of those in pursuit, especially now that the Wildcats/BioCats/Mildcats have a BDFL Championship to their credit. The Bulletin has learned that the Null Set Club is upset with J.J. for actually winning a title and leaving their sad – but social – club. Old Bocephus who has left his Warrior Ways for Southern Rock Ways, has had a tough go of it lately, and his PAIN didn’t go away in Week One of the BDFL season, as his Freebirds were shot down like skeet by the Wildcats, 45-34, in a game that was not near as close as the final score would seem to indicate from a distance.

Armadillos Dump Bullets:

The Duncanville Armadillos dealt a devastating “hand” to the Benton Bullets in the BDFL opener on Sunday for both teams. K.P.’s team remained “hard to crack,” with a solid defense and a low-to-the-ground movement that protects them in times of trouble. This strategy, while not effective for dodging automobile, can sometimes work against Bullets. Sometimes the bullets bounce off the ‘Dillos, and you gotta get up-close and shoot ‘em right behind the neck. The Bullets did not do this, this past weekend, and the Bullerino lost to K.P. & Company by double-digits. Note: The Bulletin at no point in this issue called K.P. (or Dog, or Jerry James, or anyone else) “short” – or bald, for that matter.

Dorians Debut Ruined by Druidians:

In Spaceballs – The Movie: the peace-loving planet of Druidia is in danger of losing its air supply to the menacing Dark Helmet and his minions of Spaceballs. That has nothing to do with the BDFL. However, the Bulletin would like to encourage everyone to see the movie, rent it, download it, skype it, get it on Netflix, or Red Box, or DVR it. New this year to the fantasy football galaxy is the Altadena Dorians. Their debut in the BDFL was nothing less than embarrassing. They scored single digits and were routed by the Druid City Blitz, 20-9. Trying to put a political spin on the proceedings, Old Barry – or New Barry – accurately noted that it was NOT an A.W., nor was it the lowest point total of the week in the BDFL. “Get out and vote,” was the basic message from the Top Dog of the Dorians, even though you may have to wait until November.

WEEK 1 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The Selma Southpaws have jumped out to an early lead in the Jr. BDFL. The Lefty’s from Lowndes County defeated the Hooks & Lures in A.W. fashion in Week One. The scores from Week One in the Junior League are below.

WEEK (1) ONE in the junior league…