The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Living under a rock - By definition means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events.

Media Void - Is a ficticious city in a ficticious country which is free from all types of media and information. Where everybody in the city/state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics.

Week 16 - Belated Merry Christmas from the BDFL

Won’t You Fly High, Free Bird, Yeah:

All it apparently took was a name change. Jaimie Hand’s $&!#-pot luck in the Big Daddy Football League changed drastically in 2017, and the only thing that The Bulletin can attribute it to is a name change from the Black Creek Wooden Warriors to the Fultondale Freebirds. Hime hasn’t gotten any smarter overnight. That’s a fact. His draft night skills did not suddenly improve, nor did his pension for playing the correct “starters” week in, and week out. The only noticeable change was the name of his team. Before, his team was a conquered race, a so-called “nation” without any true borders to call their own. Now, his team is named for the third greatest Southern Rock song of all-time (Sweet Home was first and Ramblin’ Man finished second). With this boost in self-esteem, Hime Hand’s team soared to almost new heights in 2017. They were the “team to beat.” And, thus far in the BDCS, no one has beaten the Fabulous Freebirds. In Week 16, the Fairfield PowerSleds choked, and started a wrong player and earned “Bonehead” status, and Old Bocephus’ team was there to take advantage in the semi-finals. The Freebirds edged the Mean Machine, 22-20, to advance to Big Daddy Bowl XVI where they will face the unlikeliest of opponents.

Wild Run for Wildcats Continues:

Nobody saw this coming. Not a soul thought that the Western Hills Wildcats would have a winning season, much less be playing for the Grand Daddy Trophy in the Big Daddy Bowl. But, the “James Gang” is in the BDFL’s version of the Super Bowl. The BioCats took down the Magic City Mayors, 20-16, in the second round of the playoffs, thanks in part to the Cronies starting one of the wrong players, and earning a share of the “Bonehead” of the week award. Be that as it may, the Wildcats are still to be commended for their best season ever. And now, the James Gang finds itself just one win away from forever escaping the vile, evil, clutches of the Null Set Club. Even Allyson climbed out of it last year, so anything is possible. So look for one of the most surprising battles of all-time this coming Sunday when the Western Hills Wildcats square off against the Fultondale Freebirds. Note: All the NFL games are on Sunday – so no Thursday Night games or Monday Night games – a trick the league picked up from the BDFL.

Consolation Games – Tighter Than Dick’s Hat Band:

The Benton Bullets rebounded on Monday Night Football on Christmas Night, which just happened to be on Monday this year. The Bullets rallied to defeat the Gamblers, 16-15, in a thriller. The Bullets trailed all through the holiday weekend, but then came up with 10-points on the last game of the weekend to shock the Gulf Coast Gamblers, who lost a bundle betting on themselves and giving up the 4 points. Apparently, they counted their chickens before they hatched, or counted their money before the dealing was done, contrary to their motto and subsequent theme song.

Woo Crew Edges Grenadiers:

The Commissioner pulled a Bonehead, and it cost him. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers left the only Gardendale player in the NFL on the bench in Week 16, and suffered the &$-consequences. The gaffe by the Commish allowed (or enabled) the Smoke Rise Woosiers to defeat Iron Hand, 16-11.

Mullet Series Continues Towards Mullet Toss:

In the Big Mullet Series, the proverbial losers from the BDFL’s regular season, continued to drown their sorrows at the Flora-Bama and await the Mullet Toss at the end of the Mullet Festival, which kind of goes hand-in-hand with the BMS. The Sloth Monsters, who are extremely comfortable at the inside, or outside, bar at the Flora-Bama, out-lasted the Pasco County Wizards by ten. The Brookside Dogs upended the Druid City Blitz, 25-18. In an un-instant classic, the Duncanville Armadillos got past the Southside Cheetahs by five, and the defending champion Jugtown Juggernauts embarrassed the Hayden District Bishop Squad (HDBS) 19-15. Bishop – the top clergyman for the Blue Deacons – was thrilled even in the loss because he got to spend some of his Christmas vacation with the Hands on Hand Lane in Gardendale (and Jaimie and Bullet even let him in the Old House for a little while).

WEEK 16 – SEMI-FINALS - in the Jr. BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

Daddy Ball Bowl Number Three (3) is all set. It’ll be a Burr vs. a Hand in the Junior BDFL Championship Game. Jacob Burr’s Shades Mountain Grizzly Burrs hammered the Lowndes County Labs, 56-21, to advance to the finals. On the other side of the bracket, Matthew Hand’s Selma Southpaws clawed their way past the Winston County Walkers, 29-21, to set up the HAND-BURR Showdown next Sunday. Below are the scores and the updated bracket for the Jr. BDFL. Remember: “It’s all about the kids.”

Semi Final Round Scores:

BRACKET                   

Remember... It's all about the kids.