The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Living under a rock - By definition means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events.

Media Void - Is a ficticious city in a ficticious country which is free from all types of media and information. Where everybody in the city/state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics.

Week 14 - Baggin' Works - Just Ask Bullet. Part 2 and 3:

Drama:

So, you say, “There’s no drama left in the BDFL.” Well, you could not be more wrong. Submitted for your perusal, the events of Week 14 in the Big Daddy Football League that directly lead to two high-scoring teams in the Total Points category getting sickled by the “Bullet Rule,” and of all people – Bullet – emerging as the beneficiary. The Duncanville Armadillos have been “out of the running” under the “Bullet Rule” for weeks. So in Week 14, they administered an old-fashioned A.W. to… wait for it… wait for it… the Benton Bullets. [Armadillos 41, Bullets 18]

The old Bullerino didn’t care. You see, the Bullets had already cleared the “Bullet Rule,” by winning the previous week and moving to 7-6 on the season. All Bullet’s team needed to qualify for the Big Daddy Championship Series going into the last weekend of the NFL regular season, was a loss by the Druid City Blitz (eliminating them via the “Bullet Rule”) and to outscore the Pasco County Wizards by two points. So, Bullet set up shop on Thursday night, and the baggin' commenced. Again, Bullet was pulling for the Blitz to lose to the lowly Brookside Dogs, and, up-jumped-the-devil right out of the ground. Mark’s Mutts put an A.W. on the Blitz. [Dogs 34, Blitz 11]

"Check,” said the Slovak (half Slovak), Bullet. “That’s one down and one to go.”

Bullet continued his baggin’ hoping – amidst his A.W. loss – to outscore the Wizards by two. You see... Bullet trailed Parks by one in the total points for the 8th and final playoff position in the BDCS, and needed to not only catch the Wizards, but pass the Wizards in Turn Four, or in the Tri-Oval, or at the finish line. Bullet scored 15 on Sunday. Parks scored 6, but then Parks rallied on Monday Night Football to add an additional 8-points that would give him an easy vict’ry over the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters, and a possible vict’ry over Bullet. [Wizards 14, Sloth Monsters 4]

And, in the process, Parks would end the regular season in a tie with Bullet and win the tie-breaker. However, Bullet’s baggin’ paid off. The Benton Bullets got a 3-point TD reception from a running back on MNF to edge past Parks, while middling Merlin left a 6-point-scoring runningback on the bench to “earn” the “Dan Reeves/Scott Hunter Bonehead of the Week” award, and a spot in the Big Mullet Series as a result, and the “winner” of the last playoff spot in the BDCS goes in “dramatic” fashion to the Benton Bullets, who can thank themselves (and their two previous Championships in the BDFL) with the creation and the proliferation of the “Bullet Rule.”

Freebirds Rock Slovaks:

The Bullets will face the Number One seed in Round One of the BDCS, and that will be Brother Jaimie. Old Brother Jaimie did some preaching to the Blue Deacons on Sunday, knocking The beer-drinking Bishop out of the back pew, 25-9. The Mt. High Men will have to take their game down to Gulf Shores for a couple of weeks, which won’t be a problem, and the Black Creek Freebirds will look to go wire-to-wire in the BDFL.

Sleds Administer A.W. to Mayors, 55-26:

The Magic City Mayors are usually the administrators. However, in Week 14 the tables were turned. In fact, the Fairfield PowerSleds turned the Cronies every-which-way-but-loose, in a big A.W. for the Mean Machine. Both the Mayors and the Sleds are advancing to the BDCS as representatives of the Gray Beard Division.

Grenadiers Outscore Cheetahs:

Another couple of members of the elderly, Gray Beard Division, faced off this past weekend. The Mineral Springs Grenadiers and the Southside Cheetahs continued in opposite directions. The Commish is headed to the BDCS, and got a win over the Sin Wagon that is rolling downhill to the Big Mullet Series. The final score read: Grenadiers 36 – Cheetahs 30. Both teams found the end zone plenty of times, but when it was all added up, the Cheetahs came up just a TD short of an upset vict’ry.

Gamblers Whip Woosiers in Red Neck Duel:

Two other members of the Red Neck Division that were overshadowed by Bullet’s exploits in Week 14 were the Smoke Rise Woosiers and the Gulf Coast Gamblers. Each team finished ahead of Bullet in total points, but behind the Armadillos in the Division. Of course, The Bulletin has already chronicled the sad won-loss saga of the ‘Dillos, but the Red Neck Division will still be represented in the BDCS by three teams. Oh, by the way, the Dixie Mafia whipped the Woosiers, 33-16.

Juggernauts Go Down in Flames vs. Wildcats:

The Defending Champion Jugtown Juggernauts will not be able to even defend their title in the BDCS this season. It’s been a bad year for the Bra Burners and they went down in flames in Week 14 to the Western Hills Wildcats, who have probably had their best year ever in Fantasy Football. The James Gang will head into the Big Dance with some momentum after clobbering the ‘Nauts, 32-21. Meanwhile, the BDFL’s only “bunch of girls,” will go out with a whimper.

WEEK 14 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

The only girl in the Jr. BDFL suffered one of the most agonizing defeats in the short hist’ry of the Junior League. Meredith Hand and her Benton Butterflies scored a season-high 49 points in Round One of the Playoffs. And, lost. The Butterflies were defeated – in overtime – with a 55-yard field goal (vs. a 53-yard field goal). But, it gets worse. The Canton Bulldog Woofers scored a TD on the last play of OT (McCoy – Bills vs. Colts) in the Big Snow Bowl, and on a “oh, by the way,” catch and return of an errand lateral by the Philadelphia defense vs. the L.A. Rams. Unbelievable.

Round One Scores in the Jr. BDFL:

Updated Playoff Bracket: