The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Living under a rock - Means being oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events.

Media Void - A ficticious city in a ficticious country which is free from all types of media and information. Where everybody in the city/state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics.

Week 8 - Eight, skate, donate and apoligize. The Molly Hatchet edition...

Aight. You get it every year in The Bulletin, and this year, in Week 8, you get eight BDFL game capsules along with the lyrics from eight Molly Hatchet songs. How can you go wrong? And, the good thing about the Big Daddy Football League, you don’t have to explain to anyone who Molly Hatchet is and the significance they have in the hist’ry of Southern Rock, American music, tradition, and football.

Woosiers Edge Bullets in Red Neck Rivalry:

Aight. I was minding my own business, and driving home from work this past Friday after a long week at work, and the local classic rock station that plays a “Friday, Southern Fried Rock, Four-play, at Four,” cranked into the opening of Hatchet’s “Whiskey Man.” Well, my weekend was off to a flying start. Danny Joe howls, “Straight at you baby!” Actually, it’s more like, “aahhh… straight attcha baby!” So, in Week 8, the biggest rivalry in the Red Neck Division was renewed with the author of the Bulletin (Bullet) going straight at the creator of WARTS (Woo). The game was within four points 23-19, going into Monday Night Football. All of Bullet’s hay was in the barn (23), but the Woo Crew still had a Defense and a wide receiver in action. The KC defense scored in the 1st quarter, and the Woosiers beat the Bullets 25-23. “You have your highs. You have your lows. But, no one knows which way you’re going. Whiskey Man won’t you play that hymn again.”

Freebirds Rock Past Slovaks:

“Skynyrd says it’s a real ‘Sweet Home’ but it ain’t nothing to me,” those are biting works about Alabama from Hatchet in the song, “Gator Country.” But, it’s still a Southern anthem basically mentioning all the top Southern Rock bands from the 1970s and – at the same time – janking on all the Southern States, except Florida. “Charlie Daniels will tell you the Good Lord lives in Tennessee, but I’m going back to the Gator Country, where the wine and the women are free.” Hard to disagree with that. “Old Richard Betts will tell you Lord, he was born a Ramblin’ Man. He can ramble back to Georgia, and I won’t give a #$@&.” Hard to argue with that. The BDFL team from the aforementioned Skynyrd masterpiece, won in Week 8 in the BDFL, outscoring Cousin Adam, 43-24. Pivo is on Adam – but whether or not that is figurative or literal is yet to be determined.

Gamblers Catch & Kill Armadillos:

“It’s gonna be a long, cold night, when the creeper comes along.” Hatchet may have meant Reaper – as in the Grim Reaper – when they wrote this song, but it is what it is. And, the Duncanville Armadillos face that type of night on Halloween as they were knocked dead, and buried this past weekend by the Gulf Coast Gamblers, 55-41. Kenny B. headed towards a watering hold in Biloxi humming some of “Jukin’ City.” “I think I was about 17 when my pappy said to me, ‘Come on down with me son, gonna take you to Jukin’ City. You can stomp your feet around to a pickin’ county band. I’m gonna buy you all the Jack Black that you can surely stand.” We probably shoulda used something from Hatchet’s “Beatin’ the Odds,” on this one – with the Gamblers and all – but, it’s one of those that was recorded when Danny Joe wasn’t with the band, and it still leaves a bad taste in our mouths.

Sleds Hunt Down Cheetahs:

“My horse is kicking dust up off the trail. I’m just getting back from a trip to hell. Six-gun, she’s strapped by my side. Thunder, is the horse I ride!” Thunder is what the Fairfield Powersleds harnessed in Week 8 as they hammered down on the Southside Cheetahs, 19-14. That’s from “Bounty Hunter.” That’s Hatchet’s opener on most nights. Yes, that’s present tense. Hatchet is still touring. They are playing dates in the U.S. this November from Arizona to Daytona.

Grenadiers Sickle Mayors on Monday Night Football:

Hatchet is semi-famous for their medieval artwork on their album covers, and we’re almost sure at least one of them has a sickle in it. Well, maybe not, but The Bulletin staff still believes it’s definitely the inspiration for the Smoke Rise Woosiers logo. At any rate, the Green Springs Grenadiers sickled the Magic City Mayors this past weekend in a game played on a neutral site in Green Springs. Both teams reportedly wore nylon coaching shorts as a throwback to the 1970s, and hit the Irish Deli and 2001 as part of the festivities. “I can't remember how old I was, when Momma said to me, if it makes you happy, son, then be what you want to be. Now, Lord, that my arms they're reaching for the sky. The people I thought were my friends are starting to wonder why. And I say, have some trust in your old friend, now, I'll be around if you need a helping hand.” – “Have Some Trust in Your Old Friend”

Wizards Chomp Sloths in Gator Country:

For one week, The Bulletin will refer to Parks’ team as the Pasco County Gators. While the Florida Gators got slaughtered by the Dawgs in Jacksonville, and they subsequently canned their coach, the Pasco County Gators chomped down on the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters, 31-23, in a reunion of dudes that used to play on the same offensive line. “It’s a Bloody Reunion. What a Bloody Reunion. All hell’s a popping, rocking to the morning light.” – Bloody Reunion.

Cats Claw Blitz, 27-17

“Well, I’ve been hung up on dreams I’m never gonna see,” sad but true lyrics from the Allman Brothers “Dreams,” turned into a harder, faster, version by Hatchet and entitled, “Dreams I’ll never see.” Could this be the epitaph for both the Blitz and the Wildcats, who have yet to see an BDFL Championship… and may never?

Nauts Pound Dogs, 23-14:

“I’m traveling down the road, and I’m Flirtin’ with Disaster,” it doesn’t get much clearer than that. You can pull off the road, or you can stop, or you can decide to flirt with disaster. – Flirtin’ With Disaster (#9 on all time Southern Rock List)

WEEK 8 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Jr.BDFL, the rich get richer as the season hits the halfway mark, or close to it. Below are the Week 8 scores and the latest standings. Note: the top four in total points get a bye in the first round of the playoffs (NFL Week 14), and the bottom two (13th and 14th place) do not even make the playoffs.

SCORES:

STANDINGS: