The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

Living under a rock - By definition means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any “normal” human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent events.

Media Void - Is a ficticious city in a ficticious country which is free from all types of media and information. Where everybody in the city/state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics.

Week 11 - Star Wars & Monday Night Magic

Grenadiers Star Blast Bullets, 39-24:

If D.K. was Darth Vader, who would Chris Hand be? The answer is: Chris would be Luke Skywalker. That’s because Darth Vader started out as Anakin Skywalker, turned to the Dark Side and became Darth Vader, and then at the very end of his days, he turned back into Anakin Skywalker, and kind of saw the Light. Anakin was Luke’s dad, “I am your father,” but he didn’t know it for a long time, even though he was very strong with the force, and should have, it seems. So, who would Bullet be in the Star Wars universe, or actually… “a galaxy far, far away.” He’d have to be Princess Leia, since Luke didn’t have any brothers, only the twin sister, who was hidden from him for 20 or so years. “But, I wanna be Han Solo,” said Bullet. And, Han & Luke kinda seemed like brothers in the first set of movies. So, Bullet gets to be Han Solo for the 18 days that he’s actually the same age as Chris (until Dec. 3). Spoiler alert: Han Solo dies in Episode 7, and he’s killed by his son, Ben Solo, who’s gone to the Dark Side, and goes by the name of Kilo Ren. If you’re wondering what this has to do with the BDFL, not very much. Chris’ team – the Grenadiers – defeated Bullet’s team – the Bullets – in Week 11, and now both teams are 6-5, and both have exactly the same number of “Total Points” (and both are the same age). Both are on the outside looking in, that is, outside the Top 8, and hoping to raise their scores over the next three weeks, or maybe more plausible, have other teams NOT qualify under The Bullet Rule. If you can read this… you don’t need glasses. {Star Wars 8 comes out Dec. 15 – Lucas Film owes the Bulletin $5.}

Monday Night Magic (Part 1) for the Magic City Mayors:

Sometimes you go through the BDFL week, which starts on Thursday Night, and you get nothing all the way through the NBC Sunday Night game. You just sit there on your couch – or in the Lazy Boy - watching the games and the crawl at the bottom of the flat screen for any news from your Fantasy Team. Then, here comes Monday Night Football, and like it has done since the 1970s, it redeems your weekend a day too late. Or, like it did for many, it gets you back in the black before you have to “pay on Tuesday,” or “collect on Wednesday.” The Magic City Mayors enjoyed that thrill in Week 11. The Old Cronies were down by seven after Sunday, but rallied on MNF to spank the Smoke Rise Woosiers, 33-27. “The Magic is back,” proclaimed A.A., who got that “all important” 7th win of the season in dramatic fashion. Both the Mayors and the Woo Crew look to be locks for the Big Daddy Championship Series.

Monday Night Magic (Part 2) for the Magic Carpet Wizards:

The Pasco County Wizards took a huge step toward the BDCS on Monday Night. Merlin and his magic minions moved to 8-3 on the season, with a come-from-behind, 34-32, vict’ry over the Western Hills Wildcats. “Old tight ends never die, they just stick together and help each other out in tough times.” That’s an old Chinese proverb, by the way. Parks, the only NFL alumnus in the BDFL, got some help from Seahawks T.E., Jimmy Graham, on MNF and turned a 32-30 deficit into a 34-32 win. Merlin may have not received much help from Ron Middleton or Jamie Williams in his actual playing days, but the NFL, TE fraternity is still alive and well, and helping each other out in ways many of us will never be able to fully comprehend. (Aside:) – Is Georgia’s place kicker the son of Robert McGinty?

Sleds Sickle ‘Dillos:

The Duncanville Armadillos can’t win for losing. K.P.’s “little ol’ team from Texas,” or Marvin, NC… scored 27-points in Week 11, but lost to the Fairfield PowerSleds by 10, 37-27. This one was fatal to the ‘Dillos. That’s right, it dropped them to 3-8 on the season, and eliminated them from the BDCS under the proverbial Bullet Rule. On a weekend where the Armadillos would have defeated seven BDFL teams, they were matched – by the evil schedule-maker – against the Mean Machine, and felt the “agony of defeat.” Kurt’s team is third in the overall points total category, but henceforth eliminated from the Big Dance. He should be thankful, at least he’s in the league, whereas the “other Curt,” (Jarvis) is asked back to T-Town as an Alabama Honorary Captain, but can’t wedge his way into the BDFL, even with a shoehorn.

Battle of Brookside – Dogs Deport Slovaks:

Speaking of eliminated, the Slovaks and Dogs have previously been relegated to the Big Mullet Series. However, that took none of the importance and bitterness and angst out of their annual rivalry on the banks of the Five Mile Creek in the latest rendition of the Battle of Brookside. Who are we kidding? It took a lot out of it, as the Brookside Dogs and the Oak Mountain Fighting Slovaks basically went through the motions in Week 11. The Dogs covered the spread (if you’re interesting in that type of thing – and we know you are), and deported the Slovaks with a 22-18 vict’ry in a lackadaisical effort by both squads.

Juggernauts Outscore Sloths, 37-25:

Two teams also basically “playing out the string,” met this weekend in Gardendale, at the hallowed grounds of Ed Bruce Field at Rocket Stadium. Both teams each had one of their best scoring weeks of the season in a back-and-forth game that wasn’t decided until the final minutes. When the smoke cleared just off Mt. Olive Road, the Jugtown Juggernauts had outscored the Silver Lakes Sloth Monsters by a dozen.

Gamblers Earn Toilet Seat Award with Loss to the Cheetahs:

In a week without any A.W.’s, the Southside Cheetahs came the closest. The Sin Wagon rolled up four touchdowns and demolished the Gulf Coast Gamblers by the final score of 28-8. That’s one point short of an A.W., but it was a convincing vict’ry for the Cheetahs, who have had a tough go of it in 2017. It was a potentially damaging defeat for the Dixie Mafia who find themselves firmly “on the bubble,” for the Big Dance. The Real Deal is ninth in points, but teetering on the brink with a 5-6 record on the season, and can’t afford to lose two more games. The Cheetahs are also 5-6, but way down in the standings (at 15th, only seven points ahead of the cellar dwelling Dogs).

Freebirds Coast Past daBlitz:

The Fultondale Freebirds are so far out in front, they can just coast. And, that’s exactly what Hime Hand’s team did in Week 11. The F-Birds rested a bunch of starters and still managed to beat the Druid City Blitz, 15-10, in a snoozer down in T-Town. The win moved the team formerly known as the Black Creek Wooden Warriors to 10-1 on the season, and with a 41-point lead over the second place team in the overall total points category. Meanwhile, the Pucker Factor increases for the Fritz Gritz Blitz as they drop to 5-6 on the season.

WEEK 11 in the Jr BDFL - “It’s all about the kids.”

In the Jr.BDFL, Milton Hand and his Lowndes County Labradors parlayed a trip to T-Town for “the treatment,” a hoops game, a spend-the-night party, and a football game into a dominating performance in Week 11 action in the Junior League on the same weekend that “Junior” – Dale Earnhardt Jr. – raced in his final “regular” NASCAR Winston Cup race as a full time driver. Milton’s Labs scored a week-high 57 points to get a vict’ry and claim the Top Spot in the overall standings with two weeks to go in the regular season. The Week 11 scores, and updated standings are below.

SCORES:

STANDINGS